


Goldfish

by sinemoras09



Series: Solatium [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Assassination Attempt(s), Babies, Drawer Fic, F/M, Female Senju Hashirama, Ficlet Collection, Miscarriage, Mostly Fluff, Post-Canon Fix-It, Pregnancy, Pregnancy complications, Self-Indulgent, Slice of Life, Suicidal Ideation, Work/Life Balance, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:15:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 98
Words: 52,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26078560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinemoras09/pseuds/sinemoras09
Summary: Sequel toSolatium. Obito works to overhaul the shinobi system; Rin and Obito become parents. Obirin. Background female Hashi/Madara, resurrected Minato/Kushina.Birdsonguniverse. Explicit content clearly marked. Complete.
Relationships: Nohara Rin/Uchiha Obito
Series: Solatium [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893787
Comments: 52
Kudos: 31





	1. Miscarriage

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after the events in [Solatium](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24756424/chapters/59856235): Obito is Hokage; Rin is resurrected; fem Hashi and Madara are married with a gaggle of children, and Minato along with other shinobi are resurrected. Obviously this fic won't make any sense unless you're familiar with this universe.
> 
> Note: most chapters are rated T, but there are chapters with mature or explicit content, which are clearly marked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Multiple miscarriage, mention of medical procedures, needles.

"Is it done yet?" Obito asks. He hovers anxiously over Rin's shoulder as she holds up the pregnancy test, waiting as the urine slowly wicks its way upward. "Hasn't it already been five minutes? Should you go on it again?"

"I don't think peeing on it a second time will make it go any faster," Rin says. They peer at the little test window.

The white wick darkens as the dampness seeps upward. It hits the control window, then works its way upward.

"Obito." Rin clutches his arm. "It's two lines, I'm pregnant."

"Really?" Obito takes the test from her and holds it up to the light. "It's pretty faint," he says. Rin shakes her head.

"No no, it's measuring hormone levels, the fact that anything is lighting up means I'm pregnant." Rin spins around, grinning. "We're going to have a baby," she says.

Obito blinks, staring at the wand. "It's so light, though."

"I told you, dummy, the hormones are there, it's just early in the pregnancy, I bet if I took it in a few days it'd be darker later."

"Pregnant," Obito says. He keeps staring at the test in his hand. "You're pregnant."

"I'm pregnant!"

"You're--"

Rin throws her arms around him before he can finish the sentence. "I'm pregnant!" Rin says again. She starts laughing. "Obito, we're going to be parents!"

"You're pregnant." Obito starts crying. "Shit," Obito says, and Rin laughs and kisses him.

"It's okay, it's just me, I've see you cry lots of times."

"Dammit," Obito says, and he laughs ruefully. He buries his face into her shoulder, sniffing and crying.

She starts bleeding two weeks later. Obito finds her in the bathroom, crying.

"It was a false positive?" Obito wonders if Rin is crying because she's disappointed. She looks up and he sees her eyes are swollen red.

"There's no such thing as false positives." Her voice is thick. Broken. "Obito, I had a miscarriage."

"Oh, Rin." Obito hugs her. Rin cries hiccuping into his shoulder.

*****

As it turns out, trying to get pregnant for Obito and Rin means getting pregnant and then enduring multiple miscarriages.

Obito sits on the bed, hands folded on his lap and feeling guilty and helpless while Rin curls up on her side and cries. This one was the worst - 12 weeks, they were sure they were going to make it - until the spotting turns to cramping and she spends the night crying on the toilet, the two of them shuffling to the doctor to make sure everything had been expelled.

"Nothing in the vagina for six weeks. No sex, not even a finger," the doctor says. It's a follow-up appointment: some of the tissue was retained and they had to vacuum her uterus out. "It's okay to orgasm, though."

Normally Rin would glance at Obito and bite back a laugh, would brush back her hair and giggle softly. But now her eyes are dull and unfocused, and Obito just nods dumbly and rubs her back.

They get home and Obito watches as Rin silently walks to the bedroom, lying on her side and clutching a pillow.

"Rin?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay?" He sits next to her, rubbing her shoulder.

Rin starts to cry again. He says nothing as she pulls herself toward him and rests her head on his lap.

****

"Rin?"

"Yeah?"

"Should we get back on the birth control?"

Rin hunches her shoulders and doesn't look at him. "Is it okay if we don't talk about that?" she says.

He feels like this is his fault. His punishment, karma for the things he's did. But he's also not stupid enough to say that. Right now his job is to comfort Rin.

"She okay?" Kakashi asks. He's become Obito's sounding board whenever he starts feeling guilty and neurotic. Obito nods, tiredly.

"As okay as she can be," Obito says. Kakashi nods and the two of them fall silent.

*****

She misses her period again a few months later. "I'm not even gonna check," Rin says. Obito frowns.

"Wouldn't it be better to know?"

"I'll check in a few weeks. I don't want to know if it's an early miscarriage."

A few more weeks pass. Obito hesitates. "When was the last time you had your period?" Obito says.

Rin fiddles with her hands. "I'll probably just have another miscarriage."

"Don't you think we should check?" Obito says.

They make their way to the bedroom grimly, Rin reaching for the economy-sized box of pregnancy tests and silently using the bathroom.

"Obito?"

"Yeah?"

Rin shows him the stick. "I'm probably gonna miscarry."

"You're pregnant?"

Rin nods dully. Obito sighs and holds her. "I'm sorry," Obito says. "This is my fault, I should have used condoms--"

"No, it's mine, I didn't want to talk about going on birth control."

"Should we call the doctor?" Obito asks. Rin shakes her head.

"What's the point? I'll probably miscarry before the appointment."

"We made it to 12 weeks last time," Obito says. Rin lowers her eyes.

*****

There's another meeting, but Obito can't concentrate. Tsunade's been brought in as an advisor, and she's saying something, arguing with another councilor.

The meeting ends. Obito gets up to leave when Tsunade steps in front of him, blocking him at the corner.

"What's wrong?" Tsunade says.

Obito starts, "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're--"

"You've been spacing out during this important meeting. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Obito says. "My apologies, Tsunade-sama, I should have paid more attention to the meeting."

Tsunade sighs and rubs her head. "You're making me regret going into retirement," she says. "What is it? Don't tell me you're still nursing that stupid guilt complex."

"What? No, I'm not-- well I am, but this isn't about that," Obito says. Tsunade's eyes narrow.

"Rin's been having a lot of miscarriages," Obito says. He makes a helpless gesture. "We found out that she's pregnant again."

"And so you're waiting for her to start bleeding again?"

Obito nods quietly.

Tsunade sighs, leaning back. "Have you two seen a reproductive endocrinologist?"

Obito blinks, "A--"

"A reproductive endocrinologist, I take it from your reaction you haven't." Tsunade straightens.

She strides over to the desk, ripping a sheet of paper off and writing with a pen.

"I have a friend of a friend who knows a civilian gynecologist," Tsunade says. She hands Obito the paper. "You're comfortable with civilian tech, yes? This calls for more than traditional shinobi medicine."

He glances down at the paper in his hand.

*****

"You wanna know something funny?" Rin says. They're in the bedroom, Obito sitting on the bed while Rin prepares a syringe. She draws up the medication, then holds the syringe upwards, tapping it for air bubbles before twisting on the needle. "I'm a medic and I don't like needles."

"I don't think most people do," Obito says. She hands him the needle, and he winces a little at the size of it, long and thick and beveled. She pulls down her pants and bends over.

Obito holds the syringe uncertainly. "Where am I supposed to place it?"

"On my butt, I told you. C'mon, hurry up."

Obito hesitates. "Are you sure you want me to do this?"

"I can't do it myself," Rin says. She pauses. "Well I can, but needles make me squeamish."

"You're a medic." Obito takes an alcohol pad and wipes the skin. He pinches the fat pad and puts in the needle.

Rin winces. "Ow--"

"Sorry." Obito carefully pushes in the plunger.

The civilian doctor had put them on the medication. "Unlike other couples who come here, your problem isn't getting pregnant. It's staying pregnant, and from the bloodwork at least we know how to treat it." The doctor smiled kindly at them, then ushered them to ultrasound.

"Isn't it early?" Rin said. The doctor squeezed warm jelly onto Rin's stomach. "I'm only six weeks."

"We can still look and see." The doctor put the probe on her belly. "If we can't see anything, we won't try vaginally. But right now there's no harm in looking."

Obito stood at the corner, watching the images flicker on the screen. He didn't bother telling the doctor he's seen it with his sharingan, the faint chakra fluctuations that come whenever she's pregnant. The image flashed and the doctor stopped to show them.

"See that? That's the fetus." The doctor showed them; it looked like a little circle attached to a small balloon. "That's the placenta. That's the amniotic sac. Right now the fetus is about the size of a pomegranate seed."

"Obito." Rin reached a hand and Obito clasped it.

Now they're in the bedroom, Obito closing the needle with the safety lock and putting away the syringe. He puts a bandaid on her butt and Rin laughs at him.

"Is this everything you imagined?" Rin says. She sits next to him, hugging him. Obito laughs fondly.

"Everything," Obito says, smiling.


	2. Senju Tobirama

"Sister, what the hell did you do?!" Tobirama says.

Hashi grins and rubs her neck, sheepishly. "Ah, it was supposed to be a resurrection jutsu?" In front of her, a katon explodes and a horde of zombies lurch forward, remnants from the shinobi army that were killed during the Fourth Shinobi war. "It's not that bad though, right?"

"Madara's apprentice is shitting himself," Tobirama says. They watch as Obito runs around after a group of zombies, cursing and swearing at Kakashi. "More to the point, Sister, what in the world were you thinking?"

"I just felt bad for Minato-kun," Hashi says. Tobirama scowls. "I mean, look at him! I brought Rin-chan and Izuna-kun back, I thought I could bring back his wife, too."

"And the business with the shinobi army?"

"Well, everyone lost loved ones, right?" Hashi says. Tobirama smacks his face with his hand.

*****

It was a breathless ANBU nin who came and got Tobirama: Tobirama stood, face pinched and arms crossed, while the hapless nin told him everything that was happening. "Zombies have taken over the village square!"

Tobirama sighed, irritated. Up until then, Tobirama had been enjoying his anonymous second life free from the irritations of Madara and his sister.

"Thank you, Little Brother!" Hashi says, clapping her hands, as Tobirama lets out an exasperated sigh and goes about untangling Hashi's shoddy jutsu.

A scream rips through the basement, and Kushina slams into the cage, her arms spread straight through the bars as she claws and gnashes her teeth, the irises of her eyes white and her skin cracking and flaking. She's the only one left after Hashi disarmed the Edo Tensei, a special case, since she was trying to bring her back for Minato and Naruto.

"Ma!" Naruto pushes Kushina back while Kushina screams and spits, slamming her body against the cage. "Ma! It's okay, dattebayo! We're gonna get you all fixed up, Ma! Don't worry!"

"Naruto, don't get too close to her." Minato pulls his son back, worried. "She may look like her, but she's not your mother."

Kushina screams again and slams her body against the cage. Minato winces, stepping backward.

"What the hell happened?" Obito says, while Hashi frowns and scratches her head. Madara snorts.

"Isn't it obvious?" Madara says. "Clearly my idiot wife resurrected her body without summoning her soul."

"Dad! Mom's trying to bite me, dattebayo!"

Obito rubs his forehead. "Okay. So what do we do about it?"

"Well we tried killing her, but her body just reconstituted."

"Madara-ojiichan! You tried to kill my mom?!" Naruto's eyes bug out like dinner plates. Madara pushes him out of the way, walking toward the cage.

"I say we stab her neck with a tagged kunai and fill her brain with our instructions," Madara says. Minato nods, grimly.

"As much as I hate the idea of the reanimated corpse of my wife being controlled like this, we probably don't have a choice," Minato says.

"Wait wait wait, can't we still summon her, though?" Hashi says. "Can we get her DNA? Is her body interred somewhere?"

"MA! Don't eat me, Ma! I'm not tasty dattebayo!"

"Naruto don't stand too close to the cage!" Minato says.

*****

Kushina is living in a cage in their basement. "Living" being the nominal word, because she's not so much living as she is stumbling around undead and decaying. "Here!" Madara says, and he throws an animal carcass at her; the Kushina zombie screams and dives head-first onto the floor, tearing at the meat with her teeth. Tobirama sighs loudly.

"Open your eyes, damn you," Madara says, but genjutsus don't work on zombies, and it takes all three of them to tackle Kushina on the ground and shove the tagged kunai into the back of her neck.

Kushina shrieks and rips out the kunai; she hurls it at Madara as if it had an exploding tag.

"What is with this zombie woman!" Madara says. He ducks and narrowly misses getting clocked in the head.

"It must be her healing ability," Hashi says.

*****

This is not how Tobirama imagined spending his retirement.

While the others spend their second lives doing the things they couldn't do during their first - Obito marrying Rin and becoming Hokage, Uchiha Madara marrying his idiot sister - Tobirama spends his second life doing what he most wanted: namely, finding a nice, secluded spot to do his experiments. "You're not going to the Kage summit?" Hashi asks.

"Why would I?" Tobirama says. "I'm no longer kage. Politics never interested me."

"Well I think it's nice we're still invited," Hashi says.

No, Tobirama would rather fish by the river, take a walk by the mountains, and fiddle around with his jutsus than sit in another insufferably long kage conference.

"Once again, I am cleaning up your messes instead of enjoying my retirement," Tobirama says. He pours a circle of salt around Kushina, which glows as he activates his jutsu. "Honestly, Sister, if I had known it would be this much of a pain, I would have preferred not to be resurrected."

"You'd rather stay dead?" Hashi is sitting on the table, eating a stick of dango. Her children are upstairs with Madara; Tobirama can hear them rampaging on the floor above them. Tobirama grunts.

"At the very least, it's peaceful."

The circle is finished; Hashi hops off the table and takes the little piece of Kushina's body needed for the summoning ritual - a lock of Kushina's hair, courtesy of Minato - and sets it at the center of the floor.

"Okay, Sister," Tobirama says. He crosses his arms. "Let's see if this ridiculous jutsu of yours works."

"Oh, it'll work." Hashi takes a stance. Her chakra flares around her. "After all, the mokuton creates life out of chakra. You don't need the Rinnegan to perform it."

Chakra swirls. Tobirama sighs, exasperated.

Hashi claps her hands. " _Gedou Rinne Tensei no jutsu!_ "

An explosion of light. Tobirama throws up his hand as a gust of wind bursts through the center of the room. Around them, the circle of salt absorbs and funnels chakra the way the rings of the Rinnegan do. In the cage, Kushina rears up and screams, her body dissolving into hunks of ash, before flying in tiny little particles upward. Hashi's hands press tighter and the sudden burst of chakra flares, until everything around them is blinded by white.

And then the chakra fades. Tobirama lowers his arm and sees the woman crouching in the center.

"What the hell was that, dattebane?" Kushina says. Hashi grins at her.

"I brought you back to life!" Hashi says, then drops face-first onto the floor.

*****

_Hashirama._

_Hashirama._

_Hashirama_.

"Hashirama!" Madara says, and Hashi pitches forward.

"Oh, geez," Hashi says. She claps her forehead. "My head!"

"You passed out. Your idiot brother miscalculated the amount of chakra it takes to perform that jutsu. You could have died," Madara says. His face is pinched. Behind him, Kushina hovers, her hands steepled together.

"Is she okay?" Kushina says.

"She is fine, go away," Madara says. Kushina furrows her brow.

"O-ow." Hashi sits up. "My stomach--"

"You're completely depleted of chakra. Your stomach is the least of your problems."

"Why does everything hurt?" Hashi says. Madara scowls.

"You shouldn't even be alive," Madara says. He curses. "Incompetent! Idiotic! Reckless, self-serving, irrational, irresponsible woman! You could have died!" Madara says. He points. "You would have made our children orphans!"

"I mean, technically you're still alive, so--"

"Incompetent!" Madara says. "Moronic! Juvenile! Short-sighted! Idiot wife! Of all the reckless things you could have done, this is far and away the worst!"

"Aw," Hashi says. She beams at him. "You were worried about me."

"You almost died!"

"I almost die lots of times."

"I could kill you for your idiocy!"

"Wouldn't that miss the point?"

"Aggh!" Madara says. He stomps around the bedroom before rearing back to her. "Don't you know how worried I've been? Me, Uchiha Madara, the strongest shinobi alive other than you, brought to his knees because his stupid fucking wife performed a stupid fucking jutsu!"

"You never say 'fuck.' You must be really mad."

Madara snaps, "I am mad!"

"Where is Tobirama?" Hashi says. Madara sniffs.

"I locked him in that cage."

"What?!"

"For his own protection." Madara crosses his arms. "If he came at me, I might have killed him."

*****

Word somehow gets around that Hashi can bring people back to life.

"It wasn't a fluke." The villagers whisper to themselves, awestruck. Everyone knew about the miracle of the Fourth Shinobi War, where a confluence of chakra and circumstances had led to everyone's resurrection. That Izuna and Rin were resurrected too was something people took for happy accidents, especially since Rin was the product of their Rinnegan-wielding daughter's jutsu.

"Um, ano, do you think she can bring Neji-niisan back?" Hinata says. Shikamaru quietly asks what can be done about his father; Kurenai subtly asks about Asuma.

"Go away," Madara snaps. He slams the door in their faces.

"Idiots, all of them! Don't they realize you almost died?!" Madara paces, irritated. "This is your fault, Hashirama! It is not enough that we were resurrected, those simpletons at the village are expecting miracles, too."

****

"Genjutsu?" Obito looks up. Madara crosses his arms, annoyed at the fact that once again he needs help from his idiot apprentice, but his wife's life is on the line and even though another resurrection jutsu would likely fatal, Hashirama is just stupid enough to try. Madara nods, curtly.

"The villagers must not know the extent of Hashirama's jutsu. She's too kind-hearted. Some village simpleton will give her another sob story and she'll end up killing herself trying to resurrect them."

"I'm sympathetic," Obito says "But a genjutsu of that scale is too massive. It's just the two of us and we'd have to do the entire village."

"Izuna will help, naturally."

"No offense, but Izuna's Sharigan was grafted. It isn't exactly the strongest. And while I personally don't see the harm in misleading an entire village, Uchiha Itachi would certainly have some objections, and seeing as he is an Uchiha who is both undead and has access to unlimited chakra, he is not someone I'd want to tangle with."

"I cannot tell if you are being sarcastic," Madara says, frowning. Obito spreads his hands.


	3. Overhaul

"This is preposterous!" the councilors say. "Just because Tsunade-hime deigned to make you Hokage doesn't mean you can dismantle centuries of village tradition!"

Obito lets out an exasperated sigh as the councilors stand, pointing at him. "How dare you," the councilor says. "The Chuunin exams are among the founding principles of this village! What right have you to change that?"

"I am not saying we should eliminate them, councilor, I merely put forth raising the minimum age as a suggestion," Obito says. The councilors mutter angrily to each other. Obito spreads his hands. "Frankly, the fact that you are so offended at the mere thought of raising the minimum age speaks volumes as to what is wrong with the shinobi system. The average passing age is thirteen. Raising the minimum age to fourteen won't make that much of difference."

"There are jounin who are fourteen. What you are suggesting is ridiculous."

"So we should have five-year-olds working as jounin? Going on away missions, performing assassinations?" Obito says.

"If they have the ability, then yes," the councilor says. Obito shakes his head.

"Children shouldn't go to war," Obito says. "As things are currently, five-year-old jounin could still be drafted."

"And so what should gifted shinobi do, waste their abilities while they wait for some arbitrary age?"

"They'd go to school," Obito says. "They'd learn to read and write and think critically. We could even offer them opportunities if they didn't want to be shinobi--"

The councilors gasp. A shocked silence permeates the room. 

"How dare you," a councilor says. "We are a shinobi village. Already you've subsumed our traditions with civilian technology, now you want to coddle our children and make them soft like civilians?"

"Of course not, but councilor--"

"Just because you, Uchiha Obito, struggled as a child does not give you the right to dismantle the system."

"I agree," Obito says. "But I am Hokage now, I could lay down any decree I wanted to change the course of this village. I just respected the elders of this council enough to solicit their opinion."

*****

"I don't know, Obito, I don't think you're going to get much support for your suggestion," Kakashi says. Obito sags heavily. "I mean, most of our class became chuunin when they were twelve. You yourself became chuunin when you were eleven. What are they going to do if they're not preparing for the exam?"

"Studying. Learning science and math, Japanese. Maybe a foreign language." Obito looks up. "The civilians give their children an education. Don't you realize how backwards we are compared to them? We train them only to be shinobi, compared to civilian children, they don't learn anything."

"Hmm." Kakashi leans back, crossing his arms. "You're thinking about the Third War, aren't you?"

"Yeah, of course I am. It's the whole reason why I joined Madara and tried implementing the Moon's Eye plan. The only difference is I'm Hokage now and I'm in a position to make actual change, but no one on the council supports me. Even you don't agree with me, Kakashi." 

"I never said I don't agree with you, I just said that making a change would be difficult," Kakashi says. "What about letting them take the exam and then put age limits on the missions they go on?"

"That's hard when missions are classified based on ability." Obito frowns, looking at his papers.

"We should put it to a vote," Obito says. "Let the villagers decide, have a referendum. We could change the rules if we show adequate support. I just have to figure out the best way to convince them."

"I don't know, Obito, that seems pretty complicated. Why can't you just issue an edict?"

"Because people are slow to change and my position as Hokage is tenuous. Unilaterally changing the rules like that would only agitate the populace." Obito leans back, thinking. "What we need is a direct decision. If change comes from the village populace, then implementing it would be easier to stomach for the opposition."

"And if it's voted down?"

"Then later we'll just revisit it."

Kakashi frowns and sets down his papers.


	4. Overhaul, part 2

This is the list of policy proposals Obito puts on the docket:

Raise the minimum entrance age for the chuunin exam to 14. Bar promotions to jounin until the nominee is at least the age of majority. Institute a revised curriculum with a focus on math, science, Japanese, and history. The cumulative effect would be that children would focus on learning and only adults would be fighting. There is also a provision explicitly stating children cannot serve as soldiers during times of war or participate in assassinations.

"Is he serious?" Kotetsu and Inoue stare at the explainer in the paper, the date of the referendum set for the following month. "Barring kids from going on missions? Raising the age of the chuunin exams? He can't be serious."

"I think it's good," Iruka says. "Kids are too young. Half of them don't even know the basics, and we're still promoting them to genin."

"Fourteen is kind of old though, isn't it?"

"Isn't the average age of a chuunin ten or eleven?"

"Thirteen," Anko says. "That's the average. But a lot of them skew older when they take it."

The academy instructors look at the paper, frowning.

"This is ridiculous!" Ibiki says. He and his team of interrogators stare at the paper, outraged. "If this goes through we'll lose half of our fighting force!"

"He's actively weakening us."

"He's the Hokage, what is he thinking?!"

("I wish I could just genjutsu them," Obito says. He sits with Rin on the couch, groaning at the idiocy of the villagers and their disdain for public education.)


	5. Overhaul, part 3

"That is ridiculous," Madara says. He's looking at the paper. "Artificially raising the age requirement will only drive away talent."

"But it's the reason why we created the village," Hashi says. "Remember when we were kids? None of us wanted kids going to war, but they still do with the current shinobi system."

Madara scoffs. "If not for that Kaguya woman, the Moon's Eye plan would be in full effect."

"You're still going on about that?" Hashi says. Madara glares. 


	6. Uzumaki Kushina

"You jerk!" Kushina says to Obito, and she slaps him. Minato starts and Naruto yells, "Ma, don't hit him!" but Kushina is a ball of rage and fury, eyes twin white globes while her red hair whips about with gusts of chakra, angrily.

Obito rubs his head. "I deserve that."

"How could you do that to a baby?! We taught you better, dattebane!"

Outside, Kakashi sits with Rin, whose hands are clasped in her lap, anxiously.

There's a crash, then a loud wailing sound, and Kakashi and Rin stand up, startled. "Obito?!" They throw open the door.

Kushina is bawling and hugging him. "Obito you jerk!" Kushina wails. She hugs Obito harder. "You used to be such a cute kid! I can't believe that happened!"

"What happened?" Kakashi says. Obito wheezes.

"Genjutsu," Obito says, and they both see his Sharingan. "I showed her my memories-- _ow._ "

"I told you she'd forgive you," Minato says, smiling. Kushina bear hugs him and squeezes him harder.


	7. Uzumaki Kushina, part 2

This is what happened when Obito genjutsu'd Kushina.

"Obito you jerk!" Kushina says, and she slaps him. "How could you do that to a baby?! We taught you better, dattebane!"

"You don't understand, I can explain--"

Her chakra explodes upwards, swirling around her, power surging with rage and fury. "He was just a baby!" Kushina says, and her eyes are two white globes in a black silhouette of her body. "What did you do to me? To Minato? Your Sensei?! _Tell me_."

Her chakra erupts into an explosion of white, and the world around her is swallowed by the power of a former jinchuuriki.

The whiteness fades. Kushina looks around, and she's not in her room anymore. She's standing in a vast white space, endless and soundless. She turns and sees Obito standing across from her, white hair and black shirt and scars marring the right side of his face.

"I can explain," Obito says again. Kushina starts to speak but her words are frozen in her throat. "You're in my genjutsu," Obito says, and he opens his eyes to show her the Mangekyou Sharingan. "I just want you to understand what happened."

"What--" Kushina starts to speak but all of a sudden she's transported, a swirl of darkness until she wakes up disoriented in the middle of a cave.

"What the fuck?!" Kushina sits up, then cries out, pain lancing through the right side of her body. Half her face is covered and her arm is wrapped tightly against her side. "What the hell is this, dattebane?!" There's a jagged mirror across the room from her, and in the murky light she catches a reflection of her face.

She's twelve again, her bandaged face with an unmistakable softness. Her mind lurches, trying to remember what happened.

 _Did someone kidnap me?_ She has a vague memory of being tied up and Minato coming to her rescue, but everything after that is fuzzy to her.

There's a shuffling sound across from her. "You know that you are alive when you feel pain," a voice says, and Kushina looks up to see a withered old man standing in the shadows. He steps forward and a patch of filthy light falls on his face. "And the longer you live, the more you'll realize this world is nothing but suffering and darkness."

"Ojiichan, who are you?" Kushina asks, and the old man opens his eyes to show her his sharingan.

"I am a ghost of the Uchiha clan. And I want to break the cycle of this hellish world."

*****

"Minato!"

Kushina's eyes widen as Inuzuka Yaeko's hand slices through Minato's chest, her hand slicing clean through him. The rain falls in harsh torrents as Minato staggers, a trickle of blood foaming at his mouth.

"Y-Yaeko."

He falls forward. Kushina feels it, horror and grief welling up inside her, rising to an ineffable rage.

"You are the nine tails jinchuuriki," Madara says. His withered hand rests on her shoulder. "You will use your abilities to bring about true peace to this wretched world."

*****

The years pass, and she becomes intimately acquainted with the world's casual cruelty.

She has seen the machinations of war, dismantled them and used them for her own ends. Even now, she can close her eyes and trace the patterns that rise and fall and repeat itself, nations breathing, expanding. Burning out like dying stars.

Around her, the darkness stretches in the vast, unending forest, and what little starlight is there is covered by the canopy of trees. As a child, she had no idea what she would see, crossing oceans and mountains and watching civilizations be razed and spent, the smell of dead bodies littering the ground.

But there is no such thing as loneliness, not when her path is lit by conviction and purpose. Darkness rolls, and Kushina pulls back on the hood of her cloak, mask in place and making her way slowly toward Konoha's tall, black gates.

It doesn't matter who dies in this fake reality. She will work to resurrect them, just so long as she is able to usher in a perfect world.

*****

Her eyes blink open. She's standing in the middle of the room, where no more than a few seconds have passed. Tears are streaming down her face as she turns and looks at Obito, who has a pained look on his face.

"I don't deserve you to forgive me," he says softly. His eyes flick upwards, meeting hers. "I just wanted you to understand."

"Obito." Kushina's chest heaves. Everything hurts.

"Obito you jerk!" Kushina wails. She throws her arms around him, making him stagger back. "You used to be such a cute kid! I can't believe that happened!"

"O-ow. Kushina-san, _ow._ "

"Working all alone! Such a lonely kid! I wanna keep hugging you, dattebane!"

"Kushina-san, you're squeezing me too tight, that hurts!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Kushina's change would be similar to Akimi Homura's in _Madoka Magica_.


	8. Injection

Because she can't risk diverting chakra from the baby, Rin can't heal herself. Obito winces a bit as she bends forward, pants down and elbows resting on the mattress as he uncaps the syringe.

"You're all bruised up," Obito says, frowning. He gently wipes the skin with alcohol. "Does it hurt?"

"It's okay. Better this than losing the baby."

Obito measures out the medication. "They said there's only a fifty-fifty chance--"

"--I know, Obito, but I just want to be optimistic."

Obito sets his jaw, then pinches the fleshy side of her bottom to give the injection.

Tylenol and ice. He already has the glass of water and the meds on the nightstand. Rin gingerly pulls back on her pants as Obito goes to refill the ice pack.

"Thanks," Rin says, as Obito hands it to her. Her whole bottom is banged up and bruised and he sees her favor the punctured side as she sits.

"What are the hand seals for puncture wounds?" Obito asks, sitting next to her. Rin glances back.

"You're going to try to heal me?"

"Yeah, you're all black and blue."

Rin considers a moment. "Sun, seal, forest," Rin says. "Divert your chakra over the wound and try to make it go in the direction of my blood flow."

"'Sun, seal, forest,'" Obito repeats. He mimes the hand signs before nodding. "Is it okay to try it?"

"Yeah," she says, and she rests on her stomach, pulling down her pants.

The signs don't work. Obito sighs, exasperated and irritated at himself. He'd seen Rin heal himself and Kakashi countless times when they were kids, and later Itachi in the Akatsuki when he was pretending to be Tobi - he should have used his Sharingan and paid more attention. "It's okay, Obito," Rin says, pulling up her pants. "I don't mind using ice."

"It looks like it hurts though." Obito frowns, sitting next to her.

Rin crawls next to him, then rests her head onto his lap. Automatically Obito carefully strokes her head, carding his fingers through her locks thoughtfully.

"Rin?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry you have to go through this," Obito says. Rin shifts to look at him.

"It's okay," Rin says. She hugs him. "Just a few years ago, I was still dead."

Obito smiles. "What would you be doing now, if you were haunting me?"

"Um, I'd be perched in the corner, over there," and she points to the high point of a book shelf. "But if you were feeling sad, I'd probably be right next to you."

He strokes the skin of her arm with his thumb quietly.


	9. Meta Human

"Meta humans are so fascinating," the doctor says. She goes over Rin's history - _dead for twenty years; recently resurrected_ \- and looks over the artificial skin and limbs grafted on Obito's body. 

Obito and Rin frown. "Meta humans?"

"Shinobi, of course. People considered to be superhuman."

"We're hardly superhuman," Obito says. The doctor types on the computer.

"By the way," the doctor says, turning. "Congratulations on reaching twelve weeks. You're officially in the second trimester."

She hands them a picture of the ultrasound they performed earlier, and Rin and Obito beam happily at the little kidney bean perched at the center.


	10. Frustration

"It's so frustrating. Had we gone to a civilian doctor in the first place, they would have started the medication after the second miscarriage," Obito says.

Tsunade crosses her arms, nodding. "It's the reason why I started making all medic nin take the civilian board exams," Tsunade says. "Even if they still haven't integrated their techniques, it's no excuse for continued ignorance." Tsunade lifts her eyes. "I heard you're trying to overhaul the education system?"

"I am." Obito taps his pen on the desk, frowning. "I've been meeting with the civilians, and it turns out we shinobi only have the equivalent of their primary school education. They're so much more advanced than we are. I wanted to try integrating some of their curriculum but I'm already getting pushback."

Tsunade snorts. "Welcome to Hokagedom. I faced the same thing from the medical establishment."


	11. Pity Fuck (language)

"Lie on your left side" is the mantra the OB/GYN drummed into Rin's head, and so at night she dutifully curls up on her side in bed, silently thankful that Obito's good side is his left and that they already sleep spooning like this. He lies quietly beside her, his arm resting on her belly, knees to the backs of her legs and gently stroking her skin with the pad of his thumb.

"Ne, Obito?"

She feels his lips brush against her nape, his fingers drifting in lazy circles on her belly. "Hm?"

"Remember you asked me once, if you didn't get trapped under those rocks and we somehow made it through the war, if I thought we'd be together?"

Another soft kiss. "Yeah?"

"I bet you, if we survived the war..."

"Yeah?"

"I bet I'd totally pity fuck you."

Obito starts laughing. "What?"

"I would." Rin rolls over and snuggles against his neck. "I'd probably have sex with you because I felt sorry for you."

"So you're saying I'd have a guaranteed in?"

"Yup." She nuzzles his neck, grinning. "Figuratively and literally."

"Would you pity date me too?"

"I'm pretty sure you'd just keep stalking me, so I'd have to."

"You're the one who kept haunting me," Obito points out, smiling. Rin giggles. She rolls back onto her left side and Obito cuddles against her.

The baby pushes up against her belly, and Rin takes Obito's hand presses it over the spot. "Oh! He's kicking."

"He is?" They wait a moment and the baby nudges against him.

"Feel that?" Rin asks, and Obito answers by kissing her on the nape and gently stroking her belly. There's a hard bump - probably the baby's butt, turning - which pushes up, and then recedes.

In the darkness, everything is quiet. Rin feels herself about to drift to sleep when she hears him say softly, "You know you really make me happy."

"You too," Rin says. She feels him press a light kiss against the back of her head, his thumb gently moving in small half-circles.

"Rin?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm actually glad to know you'd pity fuck me."

Rin snorts, and they both start laughing softly. She feels him press another kiss against her temple. 


	12. Tobirama, part 2

There's something off about the Uchiha clan, Tobirama thinks, and the five surviving members seem to exemplify it: a would-be avenger, a pompous egotist. A neurotic over-planner and a zombie with a martyr complex. He's never met Uchiha Izuna except for that one time he stabbed him, but judging from his dating profile and countless selfie pics, he too is a conceited narcissist.

"They are breeding," Tobirama says to no one, with all the disdain and muted horror of an exterminator running into a nest of spiders, (and a disgust so palpable it must be spoken out loud). "And my sister is among them."

He spends as much time as he can with his sister's children, if only to counteract Madara's awful influence.

"I heard you're still living like a hermit in the forest," Hashi says. She puts her hands on her hips, frowning at him. "When are you going to snap out of your funk and go back to the village?"

"The village is a hellscape and I for one want no part of it."

Hashi spreads her hands. "How is it a hellscape?" Tobirama sniffs.

"The Hokage is Uchiha Madara's apprentice. The devil's fingerprints are all over it."

He hears secondhand about the proposed changes to the education system. "You see, Sister?" Tobirama says. "What is this if not a ploy to weaken our forces?"

"You should talk to Madara. This whole education thing makes him livid."

"And what do you think?" Tobirama asks. Hashi shrugs at him.

"I think it's the reason why we created this village," Hashi says.

"You were always too optimistic," Tobirama says.


	13. Town Hall

They get heckled at a town hall meeting. Obito tries to make the case for increasing the minimum age, but the citizenry is angry.

"How can we trust him?" someone says. He stands at the middle of the hall, pointing angrily at him. "If we go through with this, we'll be in a weaker position!"

"We'll have fewer active shinobi compared to the other villages!"

"Who does he think he is, is he weakening us on purpose?"

"I'm working to protect the future of our children!" Obito says. He tries to cut through the crowd but he's shouted down.

"Listen to me!" Obito says. "They train us to be mercenaries! Fighting proxy wars for civilians while they stay safe and shield their children!"

"Boo!" someone says, and a heckler throws a tomato at Obito's head.

Obito doesn't duck; it phases through him, then hits the back of the wall.

"You are not Hokage!" the jeering rises. "You are not Hokage! Bring back Tsunade!"

More produce. The villagers jeer at him, rotted vegetables and shuriken flying. Obito sighs heavily as the objects pass harmlessly through him. "Please, everyone, we need to calm down and have a civilized conversation," Obito says, but his Mangekyou ability lasts only five minutes - he doesn't notice the rotten egg flying toward his head.

Crack! Obito whirls around, stunned, while his advisors behind him gape at him. Rotten egg drips down the side of his head; Kakashi blinks and covers his nose.

"Hey!" Rin rears up, pushing her chair back. "Who threw that at him?!"

Obito starts, "Rin--" but Rin's already vaulted forward, pregnant and angry, lunging toward the heckler and yanking him by the shirt. "Oi! Rin!"

Rin snaps, "Apologize to him!"

The civilian villager balks, terrified. Rin hoists him higher. " _Apologize to him_."

"Rin--" Obito and Kakashi try to pull her back but Rin glares at them and shakes them off.

"Assholes," Rin says. She glares and dusts off her shoulders.

There are protestors outside as Obito and the others try to push their way through, a small contingent of ANBU nin shielding them.

"This is a nightmare," Obito says. He looks out the window the hokage palace and sees the throng of protestors descending around the compound. "I haven't even done anything yet, I just wanted to have a conversation."

"So what's the plan now?" Kakashi says.

"I don't know." Obito holds his head. "This is a complete and total shitshow."

*****

There aren't many shinobi who know Obito's actions during the war - only the thousand foot soldiers who saw him riding on the Juubi before transforming into the Ten Tails jinchuuriki. His ascent to Hokage had confounded and infuriated them.

Kakashi is worried. "There's a rumor going around the village saying you genjutsu'd the village council, they say your position as Hokage is illegitimate."

"Well I became Hokage at the behest of Madara. I honestly don't blame them."

They both fall silent. Across from them, Shizune drums her fingers.

"You should postpone the referendum," Shizune says. Obito starts to protest but she interrupts. "I know what you're going to say, but right now things are too volatile. You don't even have the clout to make the suggestion."

Obito sighs. "You're probably right," Obito says.


	14. Tobirama, part 3

It's nighttime and Obito is in his office, depressed and demoralized, hunched over a stack of documents and wondering how the hell Lord Third managed to convince the villagers to adopt electricity and running water, so entrenched they are in their stupid traditions. He sighs and rubs his eyes, silently talking himself into not eyeballing everybody into tiny little pieces, when he hears a knocking on the door.

Obito sighs and drops the documents he was reading heavily onto the desk. "What is it, Kakashi?" he says, but as soon as he looks up, he sees Senju Tobirama walking in to see him.

Obito rises. "Nidaime-sama," but Tobirama raises a hand. He looks around, sharp eyes narrowed and taking in the office. It's dark outside, and the large windows behind them show their reflections like mirrors, the yellow lamplight and the scattered papers on the desk a testament to how long and hard Obito has worked. Tobirama strides forward, the heaviness of his footsteps growing louder as he comes closer.

"Uchiha Obito," Tobirama says. "That was a quite a shitshow."

Obito tilts his head to the side and shrugs, a helpless little gesture. "I know."

"The office has changed," Tobirama says, looking around. "When my sister held it, this place was more spartan than it is currently. Certainly we didn't have these pane glass windows. Did they remove the walls to install them?"

"I'm not sure," Obito says slowly. Tobirama circles the room, his eyes trained on the windows behind them.

"I heard you were working hard to try to convince the leaders of the other clans and the elders of the council."

Obito nods. "Yes," Obito says. He shakes his head. "Unfortunately I was not too convincing."

"And here I'd heard you were a skilled tactician and masterful manipulator."

Obito's mouth quirks. "It's easier to be those things when you don't have to worry about hurting people. I layered genjutsu with my words," he says. He nods toward Tobirama. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"I just thought I'd come and see the Uchiha Hokage for myself," Tobirama says. His face is in profile, but his eyes slide knowingly toward his. "In truth I heard about your plight from my sister and I thought I would come here and help."

"Help?" Obito slowly sits back at the desk. "Tobirama-sama, the forum has already ended. There's nothing to help."

"You are still Hokage, are you not?"

Obito opens his mouth to answer but Tobirama turns sharply, facing him.

"Issue a decree," Tobirama says. "Do what you want. If they are loyal to you as their leader they will do it."

"Tobirama-sama, as much as I'd like to, it's better to build a consensus. Once we have the villagers' support--"

"The villagers are sheep who need to be steered into the right direction. If you see your flock ambling toward a cliff, you do not ask if they consent to avoiding the fall. You take action," Tobirama says. He crosses his arms. "You are making the same mistakes as my sister and I thought I would help rectify it."

Obito watches him. "What happened with your sister?" Obito asks. Tobirama scoffs.

"She tried to broker peace. Placate the idiots leading the other clans. Her acquiescence only lead to widespread dissent and vocal opposition to her plans. When I became Hokage, I crushed any and all those who would rise up against me. One could say I was ruthless but I ushered in thirty years of peace and stability."

"You also herded my people into a ghetto, then placated us by calling us police," Obito says. "I mean no offense, Tobirama-sama, but that peace was built on the backs of the Uchiha, pushing us down while elevating the other clans."

"I find that rich coming from you, Uchiha Obito, as you had actively worked to destroy them."

"A regrettable error," Obito murmurs. He folds his hands on the desk in front of him. "You're not here to debate the finer points of history," Obito says. His eyes flick upward. "What is it that you want?"

"Madara is celebrating," Tobirama says. "He was actively opposed to your proposed curriculum. Naturally, I would like to thwart him."

"So you are using this as a way to spite Madara?" Obito leans back in his chair. Tobirama shrugs.

"In truth, I thought this measure was ill-guided. But after speaking with my sister, I've come to realize its merits." Tobirama walks toward the other side of the office, admiring a standing lamp at the corner of the room. "My advice, young Uchiha, would be to issue a decree and let the peons get used to it."

"Huh," Obito says. Tobirama flicks on the lamp, then flicks it off, frowning.

"This torchlight is inefficent. Who invented this?"

"There's a dimmer switch on the side, you need to click the knob a few turns before the light gets brighter."

"Ah." Tobirama clicks the knob into place. The office fills with bright light. Obito rises.

"Thank you for your advice," Obito says. "I will take it into consideration."

"You do not mean that, do you?"

Obito spreads his hands. "I was just trying to be polite."

"Hm."


	15. Itachi, revisited

"Hokage-sama. We heard your last town hall was a bit of an ordeal."

The Yamanaka head smiles kindly at Obito, who drops his head and laughs ruefully. He's at a meeting with all the clan heads this time, and unlike that town hall - which was held at night, open to anyone, and was filled with mostly unruly villagers who were angry and wanted to hit something - the clan heads are thoughtful, quiet. Beside Yamanaka Inoichi, the Akimichi leader nods. "We may not agree on everything, but we know you're doing your best to be a good Hokage, so on that note you have my vote of confidence."

"Thank you, Choza-san," Obito says. The Akimichi nods, respectfully.

Obito lays out his plans, the problems with the current system, his proposed solutions. The clan heads listen thoughtfully as Obito speaks, pulling out binders of statistics and education models he'd gotten from civilian villages. "We have concerns," Aburame Shibi says, and Obito nods, listening. "These changes will cut our fighting forces in half."

"I know," Obito says.

"People are concerned they will weaken our defenses. Do you have an argument to counter that?"

"I don't," Obito says. "Only that we shouldn't be relying on children to defend the village. They should be the ones to be defended."

"I think the problem here is how we define children," the Nara head says.

In the corner, Uchiha Itachi sits with Sasuke, who's acting as the clan head. A clan of one, technically, even though Madara and Izuna had been resurrected. "I have no interest in what my idiot apprentice says," Madara had said, and skipped the meeting. Sasuke says nothing while Itachi listens silently.

"I think he's right," Itachi says, and the clan heads look over to see cracking skin and blackened sclera, the only undead shinobi still left among them. "I was four when I experienced war. I was taken to the front lines as a jounin."

The clan heads nod at this. They all know the history of Uchiha Itachi.

"Itachi-san. Why are you not resurrected?" Genma asks. Itachi gives him a thin-lipped smile.

"As disconcerting as my appearance is, this body has its purposes. I was sick when I died, Sharanui-san, my fear is my sickness would return if I were resurrected."

"Senju Hashirama could heal that," the Inuzuka head says. The others nod, knowingly.

"I think we're getting off-topic," Obito says, and his eyes slide upward, meeting Itachi's. Itachi nods and they proceed with the meeting.

The meeting ends. Obito is putting away his things, dropping papers into a folder at the end of the table, when Itachi approaches him. "I had thought this was another plan to undermine Konoha," Itachi says, coming toward him. "But given the trouble you are having, it seems you are sincere."

"I've always been sincere," Obito says. He tosses the folders into his bag, moving past him.

"I apologize," Itachi says, and Obito turns to look at him. "I let our time in the Akatsuki as well as our involvement in the massacre color my perceptions. Forgive me, I was wrong to doubt you."

Obito looks up, surprised. "Thank you," Obito says. Itachi slips a hand from inside his cloak and rests it on his katana.

"Obito-san," Itachi says. "Can I interest you in taking a walk?"

*****

Sasuke had already left, so it's just Obito and Itachi walking. It's nighttime now, and everything around them is quiet. The moon hangs like a fat earbob in the sky and above them a few crows fly by. "Those have nothing to do with me," Itachi says, seeing Obito's question. Obito nods at him.

"I heard about what happened to you during the war," Itachi says. "Naruto and my brother often heard the stories from Hatake Kakashi. It seems you suffered its effects as well."

"I was a teenager. You were four," Obito says. Itachi shakes his head.

"We grow up young," Itachi says. "It will be difficult to change the villagers' mindset. Doubtless a lot of minor genin are offended at the suggestion."

"How does a four-year-old fight in a war?" Obito says.

"The way anyone fights in a war," Itachi says. "But I mostly used my genjutsu for spying."

Obito thinks of Madara's daughter, the little girl that he's been tutoring, and tries to imagine her trying to survive in the middle of a war.

"How are you integrating into the village?" Obito says.

"I am fine," Itachi says. "I use genjutsu to alter my appearance. It allows me to come and go without prompting too many questions."

Itachi's hand curls over the hilt of his katana as he walks, and Obito notices the fact that Itachi isn't actually breathing. His chest is still, and there is no pulse when he looks for a heartbeat. "I heard from Madara with a body like that, you can't actually feel anything," Obito says. Itachi nods serenely.

"I can feel pressure and wind and temperature changes, but no pain if I am injured. Just the sensation of ash reconstituting my body."

"What about family?" Obito says. Itachi tilts his head.

"I am happy enough to be with Sasuke."

Obito nods, quietly.

*****

That night, Rin curls against him as he lies on his back. He lets her rest her head on the right side of his body so that she can keep lying on her left, and while before he'd get panic attacks, he's calm now, relishing her weight and the warmth of her body. "Itachi apologized?" Rin says. Obito nods. He lets his fingers drift over her back, running his hand slowly up and down her spine as she settles against him. "Both Kushina-san and Itachi have forgiven you, now."

"And you're alive and we're having a baby."

"Yeah," Rin says. Obito smiles. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, I suppose," Obito says. He gently strokes her hair. "If I don't dwell on it, I don't feel too guilty."

He looks up at the shadows on the ceiling. Above them, the ceiling fan turns quietly, while hazy moonlight seeps through the blinds on the window. "Sometimes it feels like a dream," Obito confesses, and Rin shifts to look at him. "It's too good to me. By all rights I should be alone and suffering. I'm happy but it's not what I deserve."

"Would you have been happy in the genjutsu world?"

"Maybe." Obito shifts her close. "I wouldn't be alive regardless."

"But if you were?" Rin asks. Obito ponders.

"I don't know," Obito says.


	16. Cooking

There is a package of raw chicken sitting on the counter.

Rin stops. There's a fine layer of frost on the outside of the plastic, the package sitting in a puddle of raw chicken juice. Obito walks into the kitchen and Rin frowns, crossing her arms.

"What are you doing?" Rin says. Obito opens the package.

"Making curry," Obito says. He dumps the chicken in the pot.

Rin's frown deepens. "How long has that been sitting on the counter?"

"Oh, that? Since this morning. I took it out to defrost."

Rin rubs her head. "Obito you know that's not safe," Rin says. "You could get food poisoning like that."

"How so?"

"Because there's bacteria that can create toxins when it's warm enough, and that thing's been sitting on the counter for hours."

"Should we throw it out?" Obito asks. Rin nods grimly.

He tosses it into the trash. They stand in front of the freezer forlornly.

"I mean we can leave it overnight in the fridge, it'll be defrosted by tomorrow," Rin says, as Obito pulls out another package of frozen meat, frowning. 

"But what are we gonna cook now?"

"Can we defrost it in the microwave?" Rin says.

Obito picks up a plate, then attempts to open the frozen block of meat, which is stuck to the bottom of the styrofoam tray. He frowns and tries to peel the styrofoam off, but it only tears off in ragged little pieces. Stubborn bits of packaging cling to the frozen meat.

"I'm going to run it under hot water," Obito says.

"No no no, don't do that, I don't think that's safe."

"We were gonna nuke it in the microwave, how is it any different?"

"Splashback," Rin says. "You're just gonna contaminate the sink."

They stare at the ice block of raw meat plaintively.

"I'm using my katon," Obito says.

Rin blinks. "Uh--"

"Just enough to melt the ice, it'll defrost quick, quicker than a microwave. We can cook it right after."

"I mean, I guess that's okay," Rin says. She looks at the block of meat, doubtfully.

Obito drops the whole ice block into pot, then sets it in the sink.

"I mean, won't the styrofoam char and catch on fire?"

Obito furrows his brow. "Wait a second," he says.

He disappears into the bedroom. Rin tilts her head as Obito walks back out with a chain and sword, the blade sharp and flat and just the exact width of an ice block of chicken. He puts the chicken on its side and uses the blade to pry the styrofoam off. The package creaks. Obito screws his face up in concentration, then gives it a sharp _shove_ downwards--

\--and through the styrofoam and into his left hand.

Rin yelps, jumping back. His left hand is his good hand, the one with intact nerve fibers and his original skin.

"It's okay," Obito says, and she looks up to see his Mangekyou activated. He phases through the sword, showing her. "I prepared."

"I see that." The block of chicken falls with a thud on the sink, and Obito has a goofy grin, stupidly pleased.

Rin crosses her arms again. Obito tosses out the styrofoam (covered in chicken juice, swimming in E. coli, dripping on their floors and now in their trashcan), and props up the block of iced meat in the pot. He makes a hand sign, the telltale _ping_ of weaved chakra building.

" _Katon. Goukakyuu no jutsu!_ "

The flame shoots out in a controlled burst, and Rin raises her eyebrows, impressed.

"See?" Obito says. He has a giddy air of triumph, not unlike a teenager showing off to his new girlfriend. "Now it's defrosted!"

They both peer into the pot. The outside of the chicken is charred black and smoldering. Obito frowns and gingerly picks it up with a pair of tongs. He pushes the sharp end into the center, only to find the middle is still completely raw and halfway frozen.

"Ew," Rin says. Obito shakes his head.

"Should I just go buy more bentos, then?"


	17. Pelvic Rest (mature)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pregnancy complications, description of needles/injections and discussions about preterm labor.

There's something wrong about her cervix; on ultrasound it's short and dilated, and Obito and Rin sit in the consultation room while the doctor lays out their options.

"See this image here? This is a small tear in the lining of your placenta. Now normally this happens from drug use or trauma or even high pressure, but usually when we find this it's idiopathic. If this isn't treated, there's a chance you'll go into early labor."

Obito takes Rin's hand and she nods, silently.

"Do you think it's because my body's been resurrected?" Rin says. The doctor frowns.

"I wouldn't know anything about that. I assume even meta humans still have the same physiology as normal humans."

She had been spotting. She called Obito sobbing hysterically while he was in a meeting, and he left things to Kakashi and Kamui'd right to her, grabbing her frantically and teleporting her to the doctor.

"What on earth?" the civilian receptionist said, as Obito and Rin swirled out from thin air.

"Baby's moving," the technician later said, Rin lying on her back as they performed a fetal stress test.

More shots. In addition to the injections she's been getting, now she has to take another injection once a week. Obito draws up the medication and Rin balks at the size of the needle.

"This is twice as big as the other ones," Rin says. Obito nods, grimly.

The medication stings. Rin hisses slightly as Obito punctures the skin and pushes in the plunger. A small bead of blood wells up, which Obito presses down with a ball of cotton.

"At least this makes the other shots not as terrible," Rin says. Obito presses a bandaid to her butt, then administers the second shot. Obito nods.

She's placed on pelvic rest. "No penetration, no nipple stimulation, and no orgasm," the doctor says, and Rin pales visibly. "If you start having cramps again, you need to come in to be evaluated."

"I can't believe I can't even orgasm," Rin says, when they get home. She flops onto the couch, frustrated.

"It's for the baby," Obito says. Rin sits up, glaring.

"You're not allowed to orgasm either," Rin says. Obito coughs. "No! People give up alcohol and coffee together! If I can't come you can't jerk off either!"

"That won't be a problem for me, you're the one with the higher libido," Obito says.


	18. Pelvic Rest, part 2

"Uwah! No orgasms?! Can we heal it with chakra instead?" Anko says.

"I mean, maybe, I don't know, let me see what Tsunade-sama says," Rin says.

They explain the situation to Tsunade. Tsunade furrows her brow, thinking, and crosses her arms. "We can't ply chakra if we don't know what we are treating," Tsunade says. She points. "She'd have to visualize the area with ultrasound, but that would mean vaginal penetration."

They convince Obito to Kamui them to the OB/GYN's office, where the doctor does a double take, then rears back as a small coterie of nin suddenly swirls out in front of her office.

"I'm sorry, folks, but you need to have an appointment," the office manager says. 

The doctor doesn't let them treat her with their chakra.


	19. Scary Movies

It's nighttime, and they're standing in line on the sidewalk looking up at the movie theater, the neon sign blinking with yellow lights. Obito is scrolling furiously through his phone while Rin peers over his shoulder. "What are you doing?" she says.

"I'm looking up spoilers."

"Why?"

Obito looks up. "Because if I know what's going to happen, I can adequately prepare."

"Eh?"

"Jump scares," Obito says. "Plot twists. If I know what happens I can enjoy the movie better."

Rin frowns at him. "You know that defeats the whole purpose, right?"

"I don't like being scared," Obito says. Rin sighs tragically.

"As expected of the former shadow leader of the Akatsuki," Rin says, and she tugs him by the arm. "You know you can't control everything."

The line moves forward outside the theater.

"I can't find any spoilers," Obito says.

"Do you just want to watch something else?" Rin asks.

"Didn't you want to see this, though?"

"I mean, I can just go with Kakashi--"

"We're watching the movie," Obito says.

*****

"So I heard you nearly pissed yourself in the movie theater," Kakashi says pleasantly.


	20. Scary Movies, part 2

Sitting with Obito in the middle of a dark theater when he's scared is an interesting experience. Interesting because there's been literally thousands of times in his life when he was frightened, but somehow managed to power through everything and do what he had to do. 

Rin knows the signs. The tightening of his bicep on his left arm, the stronger one. The clenching and unclenching of his fist. The slow churning of his chakra just beneath the surface. In the civilian theater, Obito's chakra flares and recedes, and instead of looking at the movie screen he keeps his gaze down, eyes fixed determinedly at the chair in front of him. His Sharingan is active and Rin notices he's focusing on the hairs on the guy in front of them's head.

There's a bang, a shriek, and the violent lurch of the supernatural dark shape hurtling toward the protagonist, and everyone in the audience jumps and Obito flinches. 

"Were you scared?" Rin says. It's after the movie, and the audience slowly spills out into the sidewalk. Rin holds his arm as they walk down the sidewalk, leaning against his side while Obito shakes his head.

"I was hoping with my Sharingan I'd be able to see flaws in the scene setting or the shoulder of a crewmember not ducking down far enough. I don't like not knowing what's going on."

"Sorry for making you watch that," Rin says. Obito glances back at her.

"Don't be sorry," he says, and he smiles. "It was nice."

"Nice?"

"You were holding my hand." 

Rin snorts. "I hold your hand all the time."

"No, I mean--" he gestures, "--before, you know, I'd be alone. But in there I wasn't."

She leans her head against his arm. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. It was nice."

She looks up and smiles at him.


	21. Scary Movies, part 3

"Okay," Rin says, and she sits on the couch next to him, "this one's about zombies - you have a lot of experience with zombies. Also it came out a few years ago so there should be plenty of spoilers."

"Okay, I'm ready, I've read them," Obito says. Rin starts the movie.

Watching zombie movies is kind of fun, because the civilians depicted onscreen almost always have next to no survival skills, unable to do the most basic of self-defense, and always walk into stupid traps. "Are civilians really this bad?" Rin asks. She's leaning against Obito's shoulder, her legs tucked beneath her.

"I mean, these ones are."

Onscreen, a woman screams as a horde of zombies descend on her, biting her. "Oof. There'd be no way for anyone to get out of that," Rin says.

"Susanoo," Obito says.

"Eh?"

"Susanoo." He gestures. "Or if you're not an Uchiha, any burst of chakra would do."

"But what if you're already bit?"

"Hopefully there's a medic nin around."

"I wonder why people in movies never call them zombies?" Rin says. Obito settles against her.

They watch another scary movie, this time a horror film about a haunting. The oppressive atmosphere in the movie increases, the tension building until the ghost-demon-whatever bursts out from nowhere and its next murder victim screams. Obito flinches. He ducks into Rin's neck while she laughs, hugging him as the murder victim careens up the stairs ("Oh my god, Obito, they're running upstairs!") only for the scene to suddenly cut to the ghost dragging the victim's corpse, the body thudding with each step and leaving a sickening trail of blood.

"You know ghosts can't carry stuff like that," Rin says. She rests a hand on Obito's head.

"Wait, are they going to kill the cat? I can't watch this if they're gonna kill the cat."

"You want me to pause it?" Rin asks, but she's already pausing the video.

Obito sighs, relieved. "They don't kill the cat. The cat's the only thing that survives."

"Obito!"

"Oh crap, sorry--"

Rin starts laughing. "You really are just like a kid," she says, hugging him. "You just need a pair of goggles over your head."

Obito blushes and mumbles, "I don't like ghosts."

"I was a ghost."

"...I don't like scary ghosts."

"Hmm." Rin runs her hand up and down his arm. She grins against his neck. "I bet I could've been a scary ghost."

"I mean, if you lost your mind like Kushina-san did, probably. She made a pretty terrifying zombie."


	22. Scary Movies, part 4

The truth is, if Obito were suddenly being terrorized by ghosts, he'd respond to the threat just like any other: by dispatching with them mercilessly, using all his weapons and jutsus at his disposal. He may doubt himself now, but Rin knows better. She rests her head against the couch cushion and watches the light from the television screen flicker on Obito's face. The tension builds again, and Obito keeps leaning closer and closer to her, until the thing bursts onscreen and Obito freaks out again.

"Shit," Obito says, and Rin laughs, kissing him.


	23. Pelvic Rest, part 3

The worst thing about pelvic rest, Rin muses, watching as Obito pads barefoot across the bathroom, naked and drying his hair with a towel, is that there is too much temptation.

It doesn't help that her partner is a literal slab of grade-A man meat, all tight abs and taut skin and a torso like an inverted triangle. Rin's eyes track Obito's movements as he dries his head and wraps the towel around his waist, the muscles of his shoulders and arms contracting and flexing with each movement. 

"This sucks," Rin says, and she flops back onto the bed. Obito looks up at her, puzzled.

"What sucks?"

" _This,_ " Rin says, and she gestures toward him. Obito, who had been in the process of getting dressed, pauses for a confused moment, before glancing down at his T-shirt and sweatpants.

"What's wrong with my pajamas?" he says, still confused. Rin sighs dramatically and flops back down on the bed.

"Rin? What is it? Did I do something wrong?"

"Ugh, why do you have to rub it in?" Rin says, and Obito blinks, surprised.

"'Rub it in'?" Obito echoes, and Rin makes a frustrated noise and pulls a pillow over head. "Rin, rub what in? What are you talking about?"

"Stop pretending you don't know, you were walking around naked in front of me."

"I was taking a shower." Obito looks even more confused. Rin huffs.

"I'm sexually frustrated! And you're walking around all naked tempting me!"

"Really?" Obito says. Rin nods vigorously.

" _Yes_."

Obito rubs his head. "Sorry. Next time I won't leave the bathroom door open."

"Ugh, you can see the muscles stretching out your shirt, that wouldn't even help."


	24. Questions (mature)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> discussions of masturbation, erections

They're lying in bed when Rin asks, "Would it be bad if I lie on top of you?" She props herself up on her elbow, looking at him. Obito considers.

"I don't know, it might be okay if it's you," Obito says.

Rin smiles. She sidles up to him, then slides her arms around his back, resting on her side before settling snuggly on his torso. She feels Obito take a breath as she rests her cheek against his chest.

"You okay?" she asks. Obito nods.

"Yeah." His lips brush the crown of her hair. "You're lighter than those boulders."

"If you get uncomfortable just tell me."

"Okay."

She rests on her forearms, looking down at him. Slowly, she nudges her head forward and kisses him softly on the mouth.

If she weren't pregnant, if her pregnancy wasn't high risk and she wasn't on pelvic rest, Rin would pull off her clothes and have sex with him. She feels his erection pressed up against her pelvis and she groans, irritated.

"This sucks," Rin says.

"I know," Obito says.

"At least you can go rub it out. I have to stay horny and frustrated."

"I thought we agreed there'd be no masturbation?"

"You know, I never actually saw you do it," Rin says. Obito raises his eyebrows. "I mean, I'd hover around the room, you know, but I never actually watched." Her fingers trace the waistband of his pants, before thumbing the head of his erection over the fabric.

Obito blinks. "Uh--"

"Can I see?" Rin says. She leans against him. "Please?"

"Why do you want to see? There's nothing to see."

"How do you catch the semen?" Rin asks. Her fingers lightly stroke his erection. "I read somewhere some guys can aim it in the toilet--"

Obito mumbles, "You're making me self-conscious."

"Ne, ne, I know you kept that picture of us - Kakashi said you made kissy faces with it--"

"Rin--"

"Oh my god, Obito, did you masturbate to it?"

"I'm glad you're asking me this, because now I don't have an erection."

Rin makes a face at him.


	25. Shaving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Body image issues, fat phobia, fat-shaming

"This is so embarrassing," Rin says.

"Why?" Obito says. His eyes are focused on her shin as he carefully shaves her leg, slowly moving the razor upwards. Rin sighs heavily.

"Because I feel like an old lady," Rin says. "First you have to give me shots, now you have to shave my legs."

"I don't mind." Obito dips the razor in water and starts lathering her thigh. "You know you don't have to if you don't want to."

His hands are firm and warm as he slides his palms up and down her leg, soapy water dripping down the sides. "I know, I just get embarrassed," Rin says.

She finishes her bath. Carefully, she waddles toward the bed and bends over, elbows on the mattress as Obito draws up the syringe. It's time for the long needle again, and Rin steels herself as Obito silently wipes her skin with alcohol and screws on the needle.

"Ow," Rin says, and Obito pulls back.

"Sorry."

"I think you hit a nerve." Rin sucks in her breath as the medication spreads and burns.

"The smaller one, now," Obito says, and he aims the smaller needle at a different spot. It's a light prick this time, and Rin hears him set down the syringe and snap the needle shut with the safety lock. Gingerly Rin reaches down to tug up her underwear, frowning at the sudden tightness of the elastic waistband.

"We should get you bigger ones," Obito says. It's an offhand remark, just an observation, but Rin's eyes fill with tears.

Obito blinks. "Rin?"

"I'm fat."

"Wha-- you're not fat."

"I'm ugly and fat and you have to give shots on my butt and shave my legs!"

"No no, you're fine." He pulls her into a hug while Rin starts bawling.

"I have to get new underwear!"

"It's okay." Obito looks just as distressed as Rin feels.

"And now you think I'm crazy," Rin says. Her voice rises, hysterical.

Obito gets a hold of himself. He puts his hands on her shoulders and steers her toward the bed. He sits her down on the mattress, then wraps a blanket around her.

Rin takes a shuddery breath, wiping her eyes as she calms down. "Sorry," Rin says. She lets out a rueful laugh. "I think I'm a little hormonal."

"It's okay. I'm sorry I made you feel fat."

"What if I don't lose the weight?" Rin says. Her voice tightens again, a tinge of hysteria creeping in. "What if I get uglier and bigger--"

"I don't care," Obito says. "You can be thin, fat, disfigured, ugly. It doesn't matter to me. I just want you to be happy."

"Would you love me if I were ugly?"

"Yes."

"And what about if I keep acting crazy?"

"Well I mean, of the two of us, you're arguably less crazy."

Rin's lip quivers. "People are gonna look at us and see a hot husband with an ugly wife!"

Obito starts laughing. "Rin, are you serious? Have you looked at me?"

Rin starts sobbing. "You're so much more good-looking than me!"

"Okay." Obito leans her onto his chest. "I think the pregnancy hormones are making you a bit crazy."

"Will you still love me if I'm crazy?"

"Yeah, I would." He kisses her head, smiling. She feels his thumb lightly stroking the skin of her arm. "You know, this really makes me happy," he says. 

Rin sniffs, burrowing into his shirt. "Why?" she says. Obito smiles.

"Because you're fat and crazy and having my baby."

Rin smacks him on the arm, laughing. "You're so mean to me!"

"So mean." Obito hugs her affectionately.


	26. Cassock

None of her old clothes fit her, and the maternity clothes she bought are tight and scratchy. Rin covers her hand over her belly button, which is now protruding outwards and suddenly itchy and sensitive. A part of her considers just walking around topless, but her hormones are out of whack and she gets cold when she's not having hot flashes.

She looks in Obito's closet. She considers pulling on a T-shirt, but at a glance, she can tell the fabric would tug against her belly uncomfortably. Rin frowns, then keeps rummaging, pushing through coat hangers until her eyes fall on the purple cassock shoved in the corner.

Rin recognizes it: Obito had fought in the war wearing something similar, his face covered in a white and black mask. That cassock had pretty much been torn to shreds, the arm ripped off and the fabric blown up after his jinchuuriki transformation.

But Obito has always had backups, whether they be plans or allies or orange masks, it makes sense that he'd have an extra cassock. Rin pulls out the hanger and examines the material, which is soft and thick, the high collar plush between her fingers. 

She slips it on. The whole thing drapes over her body like an over-large tent, but it's comfortable, and instead of clinging to her belly, the fabric falls over her like a blanket.

That night, Obito comes home and is surprised to see Rin padding around in ceremonial Uchiha colors, the high-collared neck covering her up to the nose and the long sleeves of the cassock drooping over her hands. "I'm keeping this," Rin says, and Obito gapes at her as she waddles back into the living room, her belly protruding outwards while extra layers of fabric drag along the floor.


	27. Cute

He would never tell her this, but Rin has always been small and cute. 

It goes all the way back when they were kids: while Obito was a spastic mess of nervous energy, Rin was cheerful and calm, giggling good-naturedly at his antics while their classmates were understandably irritated. Her hands were small; he remembers how her fingers tapered delicately as they gently touched his wrist. She had large brown eyes that made his breath catch when they met his, and her mouth was always in a small smile, her lips curled up at the corners.

She's so much smaller than him. Even as an adult, she barely comes up to his chest, and when she kisses him he has to bend down, meet her halfway while she pushes up on her toes to reach him. His fingers can curl over the tops of her hands and the whole breadth of her body can fit across the width of his torso. "I could put you in my pocket," he said once, and Rin just laughed at him.

She's pregnant now, short and round and waddling, and somehow she looks just comically cute. Like a little pokemon pikachu-type animal, just soft and fluffy and squishy looking. She's always been the calmer one, good-natured and cheerful, but seeing her get flustered, bursting into tears because she stepped on a flower or asking him to Kamui her to the mini mart because even though it's midnight she's hungry _again_ \- it's ridiculously, stupidly, incredibly cute. She's like a clumsy puppy and it makes him smile just thinking about it.

"Which one of you assholes threw that at him?!" Rin says, after someone had clocked Obito in the face with a rotten egg, and Kakashi and Obito look on in horror as Rin lunges toward the heckler, a little butterball of rage and fury.

And Obito is struck with the realization that Rin loves him so much, she'd jump into an audience of angry nin and kick the ass of anyone who'd insult him, despite the fact that she's heavily pregnant.

"Sorry," Rin says. Her eyes close into cute little crescents. "The pregnancy hormones make me kind of crazy." 

And he feels a happy warmth settle at the seat of his chest, because Nohara Rin really loves him.


	28. Friends with Benefits

"You have pretty eyes," Rin says.

She's resting her head on the pillow, lying on her side and her face close to Obito's. Carefully she touches the sides of his face with her fingertips. The scars on his skin are soft in places where he had been cut by jagged rock; thin, translucent pink lines criss-cross the mottled, disfigured parts, those places thick and rubbery and bumpy. Obito beams at her. She leans close, lets her lips brush his, before pulling back, quietly. "Your lashes are long," she says, studying them. "I guess all Uchihas' are."

She settles back, lets her fingertips ghost over his cheekbones. "Have you always been this pretty?" Rin says. Obito laughs softly.

"Pregnancy's making you crazy," Obito says. He touches his forehead against hers. "I'm not pretty."

"Handsome, then."

"I'm not that either."

"Is it because of your scars?" Rin says. Obito smiles, shaking his head.

"I'm perfectly average," Obito says. He shifts her close, quietly. "Kakashi is better-looking."

"You can't tell because he's always wearing a mask."

"There's irony in that, isn't it?"

Rin's gaze shifts from his face to his neck, the triangle of muscle that reaches jaw to sternum. She traces the line of strap muscle there, lets her fingers ghost over the hollows above his collarbone. "I think you're more muscular than other people," Rin says.

Another laugh. "I'm not."

"You are." Rin palms his shoulder, rubs her fingers along the divets of muscle attachments, the firm bumps of muscle of his arm. "You know when we were kids, I thought that you were good-looking?"

"No you didn't."

"Yes, I did. But then you'd start yelling about being an Uchiha and future Hokage and people would think you were being weird and annoying."

"Hm." Obito rests his hand on her head. "You didn't think I was annoying?"

"I didn't." Her fingers find his sternum. "I felt bad for you."

"Because I obviously wasn't going to be Hokage?"

"Because you were insecure," Rin says, and she shifts to look at him. "You were lonely. I remember how you'd sit by yourself on the park bench, crying. But then you'd put on your goggles and start blustering about how getting hurt is super manly. I became a medic nin because of you."

Obito sighs quietly. "I was annoying," Obito says. His lips brush against her forehead. "You were my only friend. You were the only one who was kind to me."

"Gai liked you," Rin says.

"Gai likes everybody. And mostly he just hung around me because he wanted to fight Kakashi."

"Everybody wanted to fight Kakashi." Rin settles on his chest again. He strokes her hair, thoughtfully.

"Did you know you used to talk about Kakashi to me?"

"I probably did."

"All the time, you did," Obito says. "You even knew his shoe size. You stole his shoes from his locker, you told me."

"I was leaving a note to confess to him, there wasn't any harm in looking."

"You know what they say grows relationships?" Obito says. "Constant exposure. It's time and propinquity."

"Mm. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying we probably wouldn't be together if you hadn't been haunting me."

Rin looks up at him. He smiles softly. "I don't mind," Obito says. He shifts her close. "Of that whole mess, this is the only good thing that happened."

Rin furrows her brow. "You know that's not true," she says, frowning.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but you're letting current circumstances color your perceptions. I highly doubt you were secretly in love with me back then."

"I cared about you." She snuggles against him. "I told you already, I'd probably pity fuck you."

Obito laughs softly. "And then you'd be with me after that?"

"Yeah, I told you."

He strokes her arm with his thumb, thoughtfully. "For what it's worth," he begins, and Rin looks at him, "for what it's worth, I was just happy you were friends with me."

"Really?"

He nods quietly. "As long as you were in my life somehow. That alone made me happy."

"Is that why you let me go on and on about Kakashi?"

"Mm, well I figured I wouldn't mind being the guy you'd complain to once you two got married."

Rin laughs, nuzzling his head. He kisses her hair and shifts her closer.

"I wish we could have sex," Rin says, shifting. Obito laughs.

"It's okay," Obito says. Their foreheads touch again. "I like this better anyway."


	29. Friends with Benefits, part 2

"So how would the pity fucking go?" Obito asks. Rin considers.

"Well. I assume you wouldn't date anyone, so you'd still be a virgin." She grins wickedly. "Kind of like it was now--"

"You were a virgin too, you don't get to make fun of me."

"I was dead, I was haunting you."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Hmm, and let's see. After I'd be done pity fucking you, I'd probably sleep next to you, and you'd be really cuddly...And, let's see...we'd probably have sex again in the morning. And it'd probably feel good and I'd probably want to do it again, and I probably wouldn't want to have sex with anyone else, and that's how you'd end up dating me."

"You really have this all thought out."

"Uh huh."

"So would this be straightforward or a tortured friends-with-benefits thing?"

Rin considers. "If you told me you loved me, I'd probably tell you I loved you too. Even if I didn't feel it because I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings."

"Ouch," Obito says. Rin giggles against him.

"I'd trust that I'd start loving you eventually." Rin hugs him, smiling. "Maybe I'd figure it out after a few weeks of dating."

"So pity fuck, pity date...pity marriage?"

"Probably."

"Is it strange that I'm not offended?"

"Why aren't you offended?" Rin asks. Obito considers.

"Because I was a pain in the ass. I'd just be happy knowing that you cared that much for me."

"That's because you had low self-esteem."

"So then we'd have a pity baby?"

Rin laughs. "Probably."

They kiss. She feels him grin against her mouth, laughing quietly.

"I wish we could have sex," Rin says. She nestles against him.

"Rin?"

"Yeah?"

"You really were my best friend."

"Mine too," Rin says. She smiles at him. 


	30. Birth

"Rin-chan! Congratulations!" Kushina says, walking into the hospital room. Naruto follows her, carrying a life-sized stuffed bear.

"Yeah! Ma and I picked out this bear, dattebayo!" Naruto says.

Rin beams at them, exhausted. Next to her, her baby boy is swaddled in blankets, his little hands curled into fists, a shock of spiky black hair sticking to his forehead. "Thank you," Rin says, smiling. Naruto looks around.

"Where's Obito?" Naruto says.

"Oh, him?" Kakashi, who had been bending over the chairs, rises, frowning. "He started having a panic attack and is hiding in his dimension."

"It was my fault," Minato says. "I visited them earlier and it brought up bad memories for him."

"Sensei. Of all the people here, you should have been the one to react negatively, not him," Kakashi says.

*****

If you ask Kakashi, babymaking and the subsequent pregnancy that followed had made Obito a quivering, neurotic mess. It wasn't enough to be suffering from rock-related PTSD, piled on with memories of his One True Love killing herself at the hands of his best friend. Now that fun cocktail of trauma was layered with an additional, I-can't-believe-I-did-this-to-Sensei, except turned up to eleven, because Obito's guilt over killing Kushina overlapped with his increasing worry that Something Bad Will Happen to Rin.

"Obito. You are not going to dump all your neuroses on Rin. She's pregnant, it's bad for the baby."

Kakashi watched as Obito once again worked himself into a lather, convinced that fate and bad karma were conspiring to kill off the baby and Rin. Obito glared at him.

"You think I don't know that?" Obito said.

Now Rin is lying in bed, smiling serenely while Obito paces around the hospital room, waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop, his chakra battle-ready, as if he were expecting the place to be suddenly overrun with assassins. Kakashi furrows his brow, then grabs Obito by the arm.

"What, Kakashi, what?"

"You are being ridiculous," Kakashi says. "Rin is exhausted. Take your Xanax."

Obito opens his mouth but Kakashi interrupts: "You keep that anxiolytic in your pocket, you should freaking take it," and Obito doesn't muster the energy to argue with him.

"Sensei," Kakashi says, at the waiting room. Minato smiles at him.

"How are they?" Minato asks. Kakashi scoffs.

"Obito is being a pain in the ass."

Minato smiles. "Ah. Well, it's understandable that he's anxious," Minato says.


	31. Meta Human, part 2

The on-call doctor rounds on her next patient, a meta human status-post emergency c-section after prolonged labor and attempted vacuum-assisted vaginal birth. "She's got a third-degree perineal tear as well as a surgical incision," the nighttime doc says during sign-out. "Terrible birth. I feel bad for her. She's got the worst of both worlds."

The shinobi couple is something of an oddity on the postpartum floor - she had heard of them offhand from their normal doctor, who apparently freaked out when they randomly swirled out from nowhere into the emergency room.

The doctor turns the corner and checks her census. She looks at her papers as she knocks on the door.

"Nohara Rin? I'm here to do your incision check," the doctor says, and she pushes back the curtain to see the patient sitting in the middle of the bed, her hand on her stomach and a light blue light pulsing beneath her hand.

"Oh," the patient says. "It's okay. I'm already healing it."

"What?" The doctor comes closer and the patient smiles, lifting her hand to show the cut slowly involuting. The skin knits; she can see the layers of tissue already meshing.

"I took out the staples," the patient says. "Sorry, I couldn't heal myself with them in."

"How - what- is this normal?" the doctor says. "I've never treated a meta human before, do you guys normally heal this fast?"

"Um, well actually my chakra was pretty dampened after all the anesthesia and medications, so it's actually taking me a bit longer. I'm a medic nin," she says, and she lifts her hand. The incision is closed, looking as if it's already six weeks postpartum. "I don't know much about civilian medicine, but if it's a traumatic injury at least I know what I'm doing."

"How is your tear?" the doctor asks. The patient's face brightens.

"Oh, that's already healed."

Beside her, the baby is sleeping in the bassinet, swaddled up like a little burrito. On the couch, her partner is passed out face-first in the cushions, apparently having been awake all night panicking during the birth. The doctor can't tell how old he is - the side of his face looks wrinkled and his hair is completely gray - but like all meta humans his physique is decidedly superhuman.

"You know I once met a meta human in her 70s, and she looked like she was twenty," one of the nurses says.

"Oh I know her, Tsunade-hime. She uses her ninja-whatever healing voodoo to keep her face from aging."

The doctor finishes the discharge paperwork - same day, practically unheard of for someone with a C-section. The nurse comes in to deliver the instructions and the patient is walking around as if nothing had happened.


	32. Stand-in

Kakashi sits at the Hokage's desk, nodding dumbly as Shizune goes over the daily briefing. It's binders of new intelligence collected by ANBU stationed in other countries, some with more of the same while others portend to potential crises. 

"Here's what you need to know," Shizune says, and she sets a stack of binders in front of him. "We meet with the ambassador representing the daimyo of the Water Country. After that we have a few legislative meetings."

"About what?" Kakashi says. Shizune's mouth thins.

"About the proposed changes in the education system."

"Ah," Kakashi says. "That." He picks up the corner of a binder, cracking it open. He notes the size of the stack of papers inside it and the very small font printed double-sided.

"Obito-san usually takes a few hours at the end of the day to read," Shizune says, watching him. She points to the binder. "It's a lot to take in for acting Hokage. If you need to skim, each section has a summary."

They finish the briefing. It's not until the door closes that Kakashi groans and drops his head in his hands. 

He's filling in for Obito while he's on parental leave - notably short, since the Hokage can't afford to be out for more than a few days. Obito had tried to prep him, arriving at Kakashi's place with reams of documents and summaries and folders of classified papers, par for the course for a man used to having multiple contingency plans, manipulating world leaders and blackmailing shinobi countries.

"How much do you expect me to read?" Kakashi said. There was a small mountain on his desk and Obito only frowned at him.

 _Anal_ would not be a word Kakashi would associate with Uchiha Obito when they were kids, but that's exactly what Obito is now. Annoying and insufferably anal. 

"Sensei," Kakashi says, as Minato comes in to help him. "I'm really glad I'm not Hokage."


	33. Stand-in, part 2

"I hear you are acting Hokage instead of my idiot apprentice," Madara says.

Kakashi looks up. It's the middle of the night and Kakashi is in his office, trying to go over the reams and reams of paper Shizune had set upon his desk. He had heard from Obito that Madara had a tendency for midnight visits, that no matter what security was available, he'd still find a way in.

"Madara-san," Kakashi says. He sets down his papers. "Well this is unexpected."

"Hm."

"What can I help you with?" Kakashi says. He'd also heard from Obito that indulging Madara on whatever complaints he had was the quickest way to get him out of the office; calling security on him was pretty pointless.

"I am here to talk about my earstwhile disciple's so-called 'improvements' to the curriculum," Madara says. He tosses a pamphlet onto the desk, which Kakashi picks up, reading. It's an explainer of the example curriculum that would be put in place at the high school level should these changes be voted in, meant to inform the village populace. "This is idiotic," Madara says. He pokes a finger on the desk, squarely on the words _Trigonomety_ and _Shinobi History_. "Pray explain to me how doing math will help in the middle of battle," Madara says.

Kakashi starts to speak but Madara cuts him off. "You are gutting shinobi tactics and valuable practice time to stuff these worthless classes into the curriculum," Madara says. He crosses his arms, glaring. "Hashirama and I had a hand in developing the current education system. Each and every subject the children learn is necessary to their survival. I have seen what happens if they do not learn them firsthand."

"Madara-san, I understand your concerns, however--"

"Practice time is not frivolous," Madara says. "They cannot master basic techniques if you do not allow them ample sparring time. And yet my idiot apprentice wants to replace it with--" Madara leans forward to read the pamphlet, then wrinkles his nose when he sees the words, "--primary school mathematics, long division and multiplication. These 'subjects' are only an unnecessary distraction."

"Have you spoken to Obito about this?" Kakashi says. Madara sniffs, looking down at him.

"Of course I have," Madara says. "But unlike my stupid student, I do not engage in tricks or petty manipulations. I have been thus far unable to convince him."

Kakashi rubs his head. "To be honest, Madara-san, I have similar concerns about the curriculum," Kakashi says. "As it is now, the children complete their formal education when they become genin and spend the rest of the time learning on teams under the guidance of a jounin. Obito would rather they stay in class."

"He wants to broker peace by weakening the next generation."

Kakashi sighs, tossing the pamphlet. "I'll talk to him," Kakashi says. "He isn't doing this unilaterally, he's soliciting everyone's opinion. And if it's voted down I don't think he'd be able to pursue it."

"And pray, tell me what you're doing to ensure this ridiculous vote does not get accomplished?"

"I tell him my objections," Kakashi says. "He takes them into consideration."

Madara crosses his arms. "You would be better off taking the Hokage title by force than attempt those pathetic negotiations."

"I'm not going to challenge Obito for the Hokage title, he's my friend and I support him. Besides, I thought you were the one who recommended him."

"Unfortunately, I failed to realize that for all his strengths, they are undermined by his limitless stupidity. He is a lot like my idiot wife," Madara says. He scratches his chin, frowning. "Being surrounded by half-wits seems to be my lot in life."


	34. Coitus Interruptus (explicit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> non-explicit PIV sex, interrupted sex, frottage, breastfeeding

She wraps her arms around the muscles of his back, her breath see-sawing raggedly with each thrust and harsh gasp. His hips slap hard into hers and Rin strains her pelvis against his body, tight little cries escaping her throat as the pleasure builds with the increase in friction.

It's been months since she's been allowed to orgasm and six weeks after the birth until they can finally have sex, and the day they get the go-ahead they both grab onto each other even though they're both exhausted.

"Don't stop," she whispers urgently. He hauls her closer to him, pressing against her while he's thrusting. "Don't stop, I'm close, I'm close, I'm coming--!"

She cries out and is about to tumble into orgasm when across the hallway, the baby starts crying.

"Shi--" Obito stops moving. His penis twitches. They both stay still until the crying stops. "Did he go back to sleep?"

Rin quivers, just on the brink of orgasm. She feels him throb inside her. "I think so," she says. They wait and listen, hearts pounding and catching their breath.

The baby starts crying again, but louder.

"Dammit," Rin says, and Obito pulls out from inside her.

"Okay, baby." Rin switches on the night light, reaching into the bassinet. She shushes him against her shoulder and the baby stops crying. "Are you hungry?"

There's a rocking chair next to the crib, and Rin sits down with the baby against her chest, pulling down the collar of her shirt to expose her breast. At the doorway, Obito watches as the baby latches, the baby's little eyes falling closed, milk-drunk and nursing serenely.

He gets her a glass of water, setting it on the table beside her.

"Thanks," Rin says. She smiles up at him. "Whenever I breastfeed I always get thirsty."

"I know," Obito says. He lets his fingers gently scratch her scalp.

They put the baby back to sleep. Obito switches out the lights, then walks into the hallway when Rin suddenly reaches out and grabs his hand.

"I'm so horny," she breathes, and she presses his hand between her legs, rubbing herself with his hand. "This whole time I've been close to coming-- _ah_ \--!"

She gasps and jerks hard, pitching against his side, her legs wobbling. Obito moves to balance her as she shivers and spasms unsteadily, listing sideways as she helplessly continues to jerk. "Oh, geez," she breathes, and she jerks again, a small aftershock after her orgasm, and Obito just stares at her dumbly, eyes wide and blushing furiously.

Rin catches her breath, smiling. "Wanna finish?" she asks, and she shrieks laughing when he throws her over his shoulder and tosses her onto the bed. 

He manages to come before the baby starts crying again.


	35. Goggles

This is a conversation Obito had with Rin when they were kids.

They were sitting at the bench again, Rin having packed an extra bento for him. It was Spirit Day and the year before, Obito was the only kid who didn't bring a bento. As an orphan, he also didn't have parents to come and cheer him on during the games, and so he sat in the middle of the festival, hungry and crying into his goggles.

"Here," Rin said. Obito gawked at her a moment; the bento was wrapped in a checked red handkerchief; when he opened the box, there were little octopuses she had carved out of sausages.

"What is that? Are you making a lunch for Kakashi?"

"No, it's for you, silly," Rin said smiling.

They ate lunch on the park bench. The day was warm and the sky was blue, and for some reason Rin was sitting next to him instead of her other friends. "Ne, Rin?" he said. He picked up an egg omelet with his chopsticks. "Did you make this for me because you like me or because I'm stupid?"

"Can't it be both?" Rin said.

She was always doing stuff like that. When Kakashi passed the chuunin exam - at a ridiculously young age, well ahead of everyone in their class - Rin high-fived him. When Obito passed, Rin ran up and hugged him.

"She's hugging you because she thought you wouldn't pass," Kakashi said, and Obito was depressed again.

Sometimes she held his hand. He'd be wandering somewhere, heading the wrong direction, and she'd clasp his hand and yank him toward her, yell at him to actually pay attention. Her hand would feel soft and warm and he wouldn't be able to think about anything else except her hand holding his.

It was nighttime, and they were sitting on the bench again. They were looking up the Hokage monument when he felt her fingers brush against his.

Obito blushed, then snatched his hand back, embarrassed and not wanting to bother her. But Rin caught his look, and she took his hand into hers and squeezed it. Then she leaned close and smiled at him.

"I'm glad that you're my friend," she said, and she cuddled him.

*****

"Did you know you always touched me like this when we were kids?" Obito says, Rin leaning against his chest, one hand drooping carelessly against his stomach. Rin sits up, frowning.

"I did?"

"All the time, you did." Obito hitches her closer. "You used to lean on my shoulder and hold my hand. I don't think you ever did that with Kakashi."

"Probably because I had a crush on him," Rin says.

She nurses the baby. Obito watches as she sits in the rocking chair, rocking and humming. Outside the sky has taken on that golden hue just before evening, and the room is filled with a yellow light. A lock of hair falls over her face as she leans over their baby.

"Shit," Obito says, and he wipes his eyes and looks away, embarrassed.

"Maybe you should start wearing goggles again," Rin says.

"Yeah." He sniffs and lets out a rueful laugh. "You're right, I probably should."


	36. Tummy Time

Rin is putting away laundry when she notices Obito on the bed propped up on his stomach, watching the baby do tummy time on the mattress.

The baby's head is too big for his body. Every time Obito puts the baby on his stomach, the baby's head wobbles, then falls flat in front of him. He pats the baby whenever the baby starts crying.

"He held his head up for thirty seconds!" Obito says. Rin leans next to him. The baby complains, crying piteously as Obito puts him on his stomach again. His head wobbles like a bowling pin before the muscles of his neck give out and the baby drops his head again.

"Okay, okay," Obito says, the baby crying now. Rin watches as Obito leans the baby against his shoulder, one arm propped up supporting the baby's neck. "No more tummy time. You're okay."

"You're so good with him," Rin says, and Obito brightens.

The baby whines and starts trying to latch onto Obito's shirt, and Rin giggles at the baby trying to breastfeed on him. She takes the baby from Obito and pulls up her shirt, the baby latching on her breast as she sits next to him.

"I feel like I just fed him," Rin says. Obito sits up and kisses her forehead.

"That's because you just did."

She lets her fingers stroke the baby's head. The baby's skin is soft like velvet, the fine black hair coming in choppy spikes. "He looks like you," Rin says. Obito rubs her back, smiling.

He puts away the laundry while she finishes nursing, changing the baby's diaper while Rin puts cream on her breast and adjusts her clothing.


	37. A Heart Outside

"I don't want our son to be a shinobi."

Rin turns to look at him. Obito is lying on his side, contemplative and quiet. His fingers gently card through her hair.

Rin settles against him. "What if he wants to be a shinobi?" she asks.

"Then I'd support him. But I'd still be worried about him."

Rin rests her head against his chest. His body is warm and firm and she feels his arms tighten around her. "What would you want him to be, if not a shinobi?"

"I don't know," Obito says. "Maybe an engineer or an architect. Or maybe a chef," he says, and Rin laughs softly at this - neither of them are very good at cooking, both because of extenuating circumstances.

Rin smiles. "I think I wouldn't mind if our son were a chef," she says.

In the bassinet, the baby is sleeping. His little rosebud lips are parted and his little hands are curled into tiny fists above his head. "It's cute how babies sleep like that," Rin had said, and they both watched their son sleeping, the rise and fall of his belly as he breathed quietly.

"I just want him to be safe," Obito says. He turns on his side, searching her eyes. "I don't want him to have to fight. He shouldn't have to just because he was born in this village."

"You want him to have other opportunities," Rin says, understanding. Obito nods quietly.

"Sometimes, I think about what I did to Kushina-san and Sensei, and I just get so ashamed," Obito says. "I think of you and the baby dying and I don't know what I'd do. I think I'd die if I lost you two."

"Don't think about that," Rin says, and Obito's eyes are dark and shining. Her thumb gently wipes back the wetness. "Our baby is fine. I'm fine. You're going to change the curriculum and the kids will have a real education."

"I hope so." He pulls her close against his chest.

He never thought he could love anyone as much as he loves the baby and Rin. It's as if his heart is outside his body. When Rin died, it was like a gaping hole had opened up in his chest, and he had to kill that part of himself that mourned her, lest he stopped moving forward. It hurt too much to think about her. The wound was so deep he could hardly breathe.

They fall into a restless sleep, the night quiet except for the sounds of insects rustling outside. Every so often, Obito will jerk awake, and find comfort in Rin's body curled next to his. He twines his fingers around hers in the darkness, keeping her close as he settles back to sleep.


	38. Miscarriage, part 2 (tw: blood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Graphic depiction of miscarriage, warnings for blood, gore.

He heard her scream inside the bathroom.

Obito ran into the bathroom where Rin was sitting, sobbing on the toilet. She was holding a bloody mass in her hand.

"It's our baby," she sobbed, and she held her hand up to him. Quietly Obito picked up the sac, which was small and gel-like, and rinsed it in the sink. The water sluiced down the sides and Obito sucked in his breath, looking at the small sac like a translucent pearl, the fetus floating like a jewel in the amber fluid.

Obito looked up, watching as Rin dully wiped her hand on a wad of toilet paper before reaching in-between her legs. She placed a new pad on her underwear and slowly tugged her clothes up, eyes swollen and her hair sticking to her face.

"We should take this to the doctor," Rin said. Obito nodded.

"Okay," Obito said. Carefully he palmed the sac and swirled it into his dimension, where he knew the contents would stay untouched, just as it is.

She started to cry again, sobbing brokenly against his chest. Helplessly Obito held her, blinking his eyes as he tried not to cry.

*****

"You think he looks like me?" Rin says, surprised. The newborn gurgles, his little arms and legs moving in a jerky, stunted motion. His skin is thin and red and black hair sticks to his forehead. "Obito are you sure? I mean he's got dark eyes and black hair just like you did."

"Look at the shape of the eyes," Obito says, and they both look at their baby, whose eyes open like black pools staring up at them. Rin beams, and Obito glances over and thinks this is the happiest he's ever seen her, smiling and cooing at their baby. He smiles and presses a kiss to her temple, then rubs the side of her arm.


	39. Freak-out

If pregnancy was physically difficult for Rin, for Obito it was emotionally and mentally taxing. Every time there was another complication, ominous spotting or unexpected cramping, Obito would whip himself up into a frenzy of fear and worry: would Rin survive? Would the baby? What would he do if they both died? He spent countless nights lying awake, his mind on a loop, obsessively playing different scenarios in his head that ramped up his anxiety.

Normally, Rin would be the first person he'd go to, counting on her to talk him down from whatever ledge his frazzled mind had brought him to. But pregnancy made Rin fragile, both physically and emotionally, and after his boneheaded comment about getting her bigger panties made her break down crying, he realized it wouldn't be fair to her to dump his neuroses all on her.

"I looked it up, the mortality rate for her condition is really high," he said to Kakashi, even though the doctors reassured him that a 0.5% mortality rate wasn't actually all that high and despite the fact that this was probably the fifteenth time he said this. Kakashi sighed, rubbed his head, and asked him if he had taken his medications. "Of course I did," Obito said.

"Well Obito, no offense, but you've been obsessing for weeks over Rin and the baby dying, so far they've both been fine."

"Just because they're fine now doesn't minimize the risks, and frankly anything over zero percent is just too high."

"I don't think that's being realistic," Kakashi said, frowning.

"They put her on pelvic rest," Obito said. He held his head, worrying."She's not even allowed to orgasm--"

"Obito. I understand you're worried but I do not need to hear about Rin and her orgasms."

"They did another ultrasound, her cervix is getting shorter and more dilated--"

"Please don't tell me about her cervix, Obito, just take your freaking Xanax."

Later, Kakashi found him in his office, vibrating in his seat because of another pregnancy complication. "She went into labor early again, but the doctors were able to stop it with civilian medication." Obito's eyes were wild and his hand was on his head. "This is my fault," he said, and he dropped his head. "I shouldn't even have a family. And now Rin's suffering and it's all because of me."

"Obito. It is not because of you. Your past has nothing to do with Rin having a difficult pregnancy."

"But I'm the one who got her pregnant," Obito said. Kakashi didn't know what to say to that.

Another meeting. Obito managed to compose himself enough to look like a functioning member of society. But then he got a phone call and disappeared for a long stretch in his office. "Rin's bleeding again. I'm sorry, I need to leave."

The next day, Obito spent the morning pacing. Kakashi watched as he wore a footpath to and from the window to his desk. 

"She's going to die."  
  
"No she's not."  
  
"She's going to die. The baby's going to die--"  
  
"Obito--"  
  
"--oh my god, what if they both die?"

"What's wrong?" Tsunade said, after Kakashi found her in the hallway.

"Obito's having a nervous breakdown in his office."

Tsunade pursed her lips and followed him.

"Obito!" Tsunade threw open the door. Obito lifted his head.

"Tsunade-sama."

"Shut up. Sit down. Here," she said, and she pressed her hand to his chest. Chakra pulsed from her palm and radiated outwards. Kakashi watched Obito grow more calm.

"I've tamped down your sympathetic nervous system," Tsunade said. "You've been operating purely on adrenaline, it's no wonder you're been freaking out."

She gave Obito a self-satisfied pat, then straightened. "Thank you," Obito said. Tsunade waved her hand.

"Stop bothering Kakashi," Tsunade said, and pointed. "Listen to your doctors and get a journal or something."

"Hai."

Tsunade turned to Kakashi. "Call me if he shits the bed again."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama." Tsunade shook her head.

"Don't thank me, I should be out somewhere gambling. At least right now I'm keeping my money."


	40. Freak-out, part 2

"You should have seen him, Rin, he was a total mess," Kakashi says. "I never thought I'd see someone so neurotic."

"Really?" Rin says. "But he was so calm during all those emergencies--"

"Because he'd go scream in his dimension or come find me to freak out at me," Kakashi says. He points at Obito for emphasis. "Tsunade-hime had to rewire his nervous system. He was so anxious he used up all the refills on his medication."

"Obito, why didn't you say anything?" Rin says. Obito walks toward them, holding the baby.

"I didn't want to worry you, so I talked to Kakashi," Obito says. 

"I'll have you know, you didn't talk to me so much as freak out at me," Kakashi says.

"Sorry. I didn't want to burden Sensei and I don't have any other friends, I'm sorry you had to deal with me."

Kakashi and Rin look at him. "Did you just say you don't have any friends?" Kakashi says. Obito shakes his head.

"I get along well enough with Gai and Iruka and Kurenai. But as you know, I'm not very close to them, and up until now I worked alone. I wasn't able to cultivate those kinds of relationships."

The baby coos against Obito's shoulder. Obito rests his face on the baby's head.

Kakashi sighs and shakes his head. "Just when I thought I knew everything, there's still more reasons to feel sorry for you."


	41. Darkness

They speak quietly together in the darkness.

"You know, even when we were kids, you didn't have many friends," Rin says. Obito corrects her gently.

"I didn't have any friends," Obito says. He brushes his lips against her forehead. "Except you. You were my only friend."

"Why was that?" Rin says. She shifts to look at him. "You were nice."

"I was an Uchiha. People were intimidated by me. And then when they got to know me, they got irritated by me. You yourself said I could be annoying."

"Hmm. That's true." Rin feels his hand drifting up and down her back. She leans against him, hugging him. "You didn't have friends or family. That's why you wanted to be Hokage."

"To be acknowledged." He laughs softly. "So stupid and childish."

"I never thought it was."

Obito's eyes are soft. He cups her face and smiles. "Thank you for being kind to me."

She smiles and presses a soft kiss to his lips. "I love you, you don't have to thank me."

They kiss, and she giggles against his lips. "I just feel bad for Kakashi."


	42. Freak-out, part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intrusive thoughts, depression/anxiety, discussion about SIDS

He starts obsessing over the idea of the baby dying suddenly. Rin blames it on a lack of sleep.

He stands at the doorway, watching as the baby sleeps. It has been a few hours since the baby last woke up, which is unusual and has sent Obito panicking. "Please don't wake him, he's just sleeping," Rin had said, but Obito went and checked on the baby anyway.

Multiple times he checks. Keeps getting up every few hours, will pace restlessly by the door or rest a hand on the baby's chest to make sure he's still breathing. They called it Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, and even though he and Rin took all the precautions, the idea of the baby dying in his sleep makes him nervous.

"Obito, I love you, but you're driving me nuts," Rin says, as Obito gets up to check again. "The baby's older, he's sleeping through the night now, just enjoy it and go back to sleep."

"Look at the baby monitor. He's not moving."

"He's not moving because he's sleeping."

"I just want to check on him," Obito says again, and Rin groans and rolls over, pulling a pillow over her head.

She had thought he had been doing okay - Kushina-san and Sensei openly forgave him, and Itachi was willing to trust him, he no longer seemed as haunted by his past - but now the thought of her or the baby dying becomes another thing to latch onto, and pretty soon he starts spiraling. "I know it's hard, Obito, but all you're doing is waking up the baby."

"I know," Obito says. He holds his head. "I just can't shake the feeling something will happen."

"Nothing will happen. Come to bed."

"You know, the worst thing that ever happened to me was seeing you die and cradling your dead body--"

"Obito--"

"--I just keep thinking, what if that happens to the baby?"

She sits down and rubs his back, and he leans into her touch, which seems to soothe him. "Honestly," Rin says, and she slides her hand up and down his back, "me leaving you because you won't let me sleep is more likely than the baby dying."

Obito's head jerks up. "You want to leave me?" Rin holds up her hands.

"No, no, I was just joking--"

She gets a little taste of what it was like for Kakashi.

When she was haunting him, she had been impressed by Obito's meticulous planning. If he needed Itachi and Kisame to do something, he also had Kakuzu and Hidan waiting in the wings as a contingency. If they failed to capture the jinchuuriki, at least there was a secondary objective the team had to complete. He didn't trust Nagato and Konan, so he infiltrated his own group ostensibly to spy on them, but it also helped to have another Uchiha on task to capture jinchuuriki. Things would go wrong but he would adapt because he had already planned for it; even if things went to shit, everything still went relatively smoothly.

At the time, Rin just thought Obito had grown to be a master tactician, someone smart enough to realize things could go wrong and to prepare for all possibilities. Now Rin realizes all those plans and multiple backup plans were just a way to cope with his anxiety.

"I didn't even think of Kabuto finding Madara's body," Obito says. "For all the things that could go wrong, Madara being brought back as an undead zombie was surprising."

"What would you have done had you thought of it?" Rin asks. Obito considers.

"I would have burned the body," Obito said. "Keep a lock of hair or something in case Nagato couldn't do the Rinne Tensei. The idea of someone bringing him back prematurely didn't even occur to me."

They fall quiet. Rin starts to drift to sleep.

"If the baby dies I could probably resurrect him with the Rinne Tensei--"

"Oh my god, Obito, go to sleep."

"Sorry."


	43. A+ Parenting

"Wash! Wash!"

Madara's baby son toddles over to him, holding up his hands which are covered in mud.

Madara sniffs. "And what do you expect me to do about it?"

"Daddy! Wash! Wash!"

"You know where the sink is," Madara says, and the baby stands in the middle of the kitchen for one long confused moment, before he toddles over to the table and pushes a chair.

Madara watches. The toddler pushes the chair to the sink, then slowly climbs on it. Reaching forward, the baby stands on his tip-toes and tries reaching the faucet.

Madara sighs, then walks over to flip on the water. The child is not tall enough and nothing but time can rectify it.

The baby gets soap. He slaps his hands under the water. Then he climbs down the chair again, water still running, and says proudly, "Daddy! I wash hands!"

"Excellent," Madara says. "Perhaps you will not be so useless."

The baby grabs a hand towel and runs out from the kitchen.

"Owie...Owie...Daddy...!"

"Did you fall?" Madara looks up to see the baby crying on his butt. "That is what happens when you run."

"Ice! Daddy, ice!"

"You know where the ice is," Madara says, and the baby sniffs and toddles toward the freezer, where Madara has already stuck in a few wet washcloths he let freeze for makeshift ice packs. The baby pulls it out then puts it on his head.

"Why are you putting that there? You did not hit your head."

"Daddy, ice."

"Yes I know, ice. Put it here," Madara says, and he holds it by the baby's butt. The baby takes it from him.

There is a kunai sitting at the table that Madara had forgotten to put away; the baby reaches up to play with it.

Madara watches. The baby stares intently at the pointed end, then proceeds to cut himself with it.

"OWIE OWIE DADDY!" The baby starts crying. His little face turns red as he cries big fat tears.

"Hm." Madara frowns at him. "That is what happens when you touch sharp objects."

He takes the kunai from him.


	44. D- Parenting

"What are you doing?" Rin says, when she comes home to find Obito on his hands and knees, crawling around the kitchen.

"Baby-proofing," Obito says. He doesn't look up. "They say you're supposed to be at the baby's eye level to check for anything dangerous."

"The baby's not crawling yet, he can barely lift up his head."

"That is why now is the perfect time to do this." 

He leans forward and fishes out a small coin that had fallen in the corner. "He could choke on this," Obito says, showing her.

They both end up crawling around the apartment, checking for uncovered plugs and tripping hazards and small chokeable objects.


	45. Co-sleep

The clock on the nightstand blinks 1 AM in bright red numbers. Rin sighs and opens her eyes, rolling toward Obito's side of the bed. It's empty. She's tired, so she goes back to sleep.

3 AM. Rin wakes up again, and Obito's side of the bed is still empty. Rin reaches an arm out and pats the cool sheets, frowning. He had come to bed about an hour after she did, he would tell her if he had to Kamui back to the office.

Maybe it's an emergency? Rin gets up and pads barefoot into the hallway. Maybe some ANBU informant contacted him and he had to leave quickly.

She rounds the corner and sees the TV is on, but the sound is off, Obito sitting on the couch, asleep and holding the baby. She sees the balled up diaper and the empty bottle of milk next to the couch; he must have gotten up because he heard the baby crying. Obito's head is bowed, his cheek pressed against the baby's scalp, while the baby is cuddled up warmly against Obito's chest. The baby has long dark lashes like Obito does, and Rin can see the baby's little body rise and fall as Obito breathes. 

Rin smiles. Quietly she shuts the TV off, then covers them both with a blanket, pausing a moment to run her fingers through Obito's hair.


	46. Birth, part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Medical jargon, emergency c-section, fetal distress

"Okay, push! Push!"

Rin screamed, bearing down hard while Obito held her hand, worried. The civilians all crowded around her lower half. "Again. Push, push--"

Rin screamed. Her face was red. Tears rolled down the sides of her cheeks.

"There's meconium," someone said, and Rin's chest heaved. Obito could see black tar coming out of her, mixing with blood.

A flurry of movement. People talking over each other. He could make out snippets of conversation.

"Okay we need the vacuum, someone give me the vacuum--"

"I can't get a good seal."

"There's decels on the monitor--"

"Take her to the OR," someone said, and dozens of people seemed to appear from nowhere, pushing Obito back and surrounding her hospital bed.

"Obito?" Rin's face was pale.

"It's okay, they're helping," Obito said.

"Sir we need you to step back," someone said, and pushed him aside.

"Obito?!"

"Ma'am, we need to take you to C-section, your baby's in fetal distress--"

"What?!"

"Rin!" Obito started but someone pushed him back again.

And then everyone left the room, leaving Obito standing in the middle.

*****

He could feel Rin's chakra wavering, then dampen.

Shit. He teleported, then swirled in the middle of the OR room. Civilians shrieked as Obito rushed toward Rin on the table.

"Sir, we need you to step back--"

He was about to fight them off when crying filled the sterile room.

Obito's heart, which was thudding in his chest, slowed, and he looked over and saw them cleaning the baby. It reminded him of how his Sensei's baby looked, the way his little face split open and how his little arms curled with tiny fists, wailing piteously.

Rin was lying on the table, hyperventiliating. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "Is my baby okay?"

Obito pushed down those thoughts and rushed toward her, kneeling. "Rin?"

"Obito." Rin clasped his hand. "I'm scared."

"The baby's crying, they were just cleaning him. I think he's okay."

"I've never been so scared," she started to cry again. His mind snapped to Kushina begging him not to hurt her baby, how he purposefully squeezed the soft arms just enough to scare them, holding a kunai to the baby's throat.

*****

The next few hours were a blur.

Rin was exhausted. Somehow she was able to nurse and the baby was sleeping peacefully in the bassinet beside them. Obito dully ran his fingers through Rin's hair, which was matted and sticky with sweat, when she smiled wanly at him. "Look at our precious baby," Rin said.

Obito looked. Shock of black hair, his little face pink and red, Obito felt a wave of nausea washing over him, his throat constricting as the memories of his sensei and their child collided within him. Rin smiled serenely and Obito stroked her hair silently.

When she fell asleep, he screamed in his dimension, falling on his knees and sobbing violently. He squeezed his eyes and screamed again, covering his head in his hands.

*****

Rin had no idea how scared he'd been.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Rin says. Obito shakes his head.

"You were recovering, I didn't want you worrying."

They look again at the baby monitor, watching their baby sleeping.


	47. Shizune

If you ask Shizune, working with Obito is a lot smoother than working with Tsunade.

One of the hardest things about being Tsunade's second-in-command was trying to wrangle her through the administrative aspects of her position. Tsunade was more of a Big Picture person, she didn't want to be tied up in the niggling details that went into the wheeling and dealing of backroom politicking.

And so it was that Shizune spent an inordinate amount of time dragging Tsunade to various meetings, signing her up for several action committees, and tirelessly reminding her that in order to spread her influence, she had to take part in at least some of the joint-council's over-arching activities. "Must we?" Tsunade asked, when Shizune patiently reminded her that she has skipped four meetings already and that her membership was in danger of being placed in suspension. "Can we not just pay the fines?"

"Tsunade-sama. Despite the fact that it's feckless and highly irresponsible to miss any more of the council's meetings, I must remind you that attendance is one way to spread Konoha's influence." Shizune tapped her papers on the desk, pointedly. "You are a powerful and very influential kage. It's expected that you attend the council."

"Can't you just go for me?" Tsunade asked, but Shizune gave her a look that brooked no argument, and Konoha's strongest shinobi capitulated defeat.

Now Shizune holds a stack of binders against her chest, a full two hours early before the council's first meeting: she spent the night going over her mission briefs, and now she needs to get Obito-san up to speed.

"Oh, Shizune-san, that isn't necessary," Obito says, and Shizune blinks and then blinks again when she finds Obito not only read the reports, but cross-referenced them with expert opinions from different agencies.

His attention to detail is astounding. Shizune watches, somewhat intimidated, as Obito works. He's thoughtful and deliberate, always seeking a consensus before coming to a decision. "I need more time to think about this. Let's table this for now until we have more information."

"He's a good leader," Kakashi says, and Shizune nods, agreeing with him.

*****

They're in the office preparing for their next legislative meeting, when Minato comes in, smiling and holding a small stuffed bear.

"Congratulations!" Minato says, and Obito looks up and beams at him.

"Sensei," Obito says, and Shizune stands, shifting down a spot so that Minato can sit next to him.

"I heard from Rin-chan that you two are pregnant," Minato says, smiling. "How far along is she?"

"Eighteen weeks," Obito says. Minato nods.

"Do you know what you're having?"

"I'm pretty sure it's a boy, but they'll verify that at the 20-week ultrasound."

"How can you tell?" Shizune asks, and Obito smiles and taps the side of his head, and Shizune remembers he's an Uchiha, of course he can tell with his Sharingan.

"Everything is better the second trimester," Minato says. "When Kushina was pregnant, she had terrible morning sickness. It got better the second trimester."

"It sounds like you have experience, Yondaime-sama," Shizune says, smiling. "Maybe you can give Obito-san some parenting tips."

And then she realizes her mistake as soon as she says it. Obito freezes. Minato looks down uncomfortably, then plasters on a smile.

"Ah, well," Minato says, finally. "I actually don't have that much experience. Unless of course if it's about raising a teenager, but Naruto pretty much raised himself."

"Ah," Shizune says. She glances at Obito, who's staring at his hands.

"I'm so sorry," Shizune says when they're alone again. She's completely mortified about what happened, but Obito waves his hand.

"Don't be," Obito says.

"But I mean, you and the Fourth Hokage--"

"Shizune-san, it's alright. There's no reason for you to be sorry."

He seems fine. Whatever awkwardness Shizune felt is completely smoothed over.

There is another meeting. Shizune breaks and walks down the hallway to go over the latest projections from the committee, but the Hokage office is empty. She checks the conference room, then goes down to the Academy where the chuunin instructors are staying. "Have you seen the Hokage?" Shizune asks. The instructors shake their head.

"Oh, Obito?" Kakashi says. "He's probably hiding in his dimension again."

"Why would he be hiding? And what do you mean by 'again'?" Shizune says. Kakashi spreads his hands.

"Do you ever get upset, and then need to go collect yourself someplace private?" Kakashi says. He gestures. "That's what Obito is doing in his dimension. He used to sneak away and hide whenever he got beat up or yelled at when he was a kid," Kakashi says. "Half the time he'd be crying in the bathroom, the other half he'd be on some random bench somewhere until Rin would find him."

"I can't imagine why he'd be upset, he looked completely fine."

"Oh, he was lying," Kakashi says cheerfully. His eyes crease into two crescents. "I bet he's in his dimension somewhere hiding."

"Kakashi-san, be nice," Shizune says, scandalized.

Shizune finds him in his office an hour later, leafing through a stack of documents as if he had never left his desk. "Obito-san. I've been looking for you. Where were you?"

"I was in a phone call with a few officials with the Kazekage, then I had an informal sidebar with one of our analysts," Obito says. "I figured we had some time in-between meetings."

"Well that explains it." Shizune laughs, shaking her head. "Your second-in-command seemed to think you were in your dimension somewhere hiding."

Obito scoffs. "That's what you get when you listen to Bakakashi."

They attend another meeting. Once again, Obito is competent and composed, engaging the others with researched facts and pointed questions.

Sunset. Shizune gathers her papers, then stops by the Hokage's office one last time to go over a few last-minute items, when she sees Obito sitting silently at his desk, his chin in his hands and wearing a troubled expression. His eyes are unfocused; he doesn't notice Shizune standing until she knocks and fully opens the door.

"Oh, Shizune-san." Obito straightens. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"I just wanted to get you the latest reports." She sets the folders on his desk. "You know, before Minato-sama came in, I had no idea you and Rin-san are expecting," Shizune says. "You should have said something. That's something worth celebrating."

"I didn't think to. I figure stuff like that is boring."

"Boring?" Shizune laughs. "Showing endless photos on your phone is boring. Remember not to do that."

"Noted."

Shizune sits next to him. "How is she feeling?" Shizune asks. Obito's brow furrows.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, it's just when my sister was pregnant, she was always tired and hungry."

Obito laughs ruefully. "Oh, well yes. Rin is also always tired and hungry."

"Is she having bad morning sickness?"

"Not really," Obito says. Shizune brightens.

"That's so lucky! My sister was throwing up constantly. You know, they say the worse the morning sickness, the healthier the pregnancy, but between you and me, I think that's baloney. If Rin-san's not having morning sickness, it sounds like she's having a really good pregnancy."

Obito gives her a little shrug. "I suppose, relatively," he says, smiling. Shizune sets down her stack of papers.

"Obito-san. Is everything okay? I was standing outside the office earlier, and you looked a bit distressed."

"Oh, I did?" Obito smiles. "I was just reading these papers and my eyes were tired. You probably just caught me zoning out."

"Oh, that makes sense," Shizune says. She smiles. "My apologies. I'm so used to having to read Tsunade. She was always kind of moody. But I wouldn't have expected someone like you to be zoning out."

"It's a lot of papers," Obito says, and he shows her.

They leave at the same time. Obito uses his kamui because it's easier than having to walk, and Shizune waves goodnight as he smiles and swirls out.


	48. Gift

A voice booms out from the darkness. "Obito," Madara says, and Obito stands as Madara steps out from the shadows, then proceeds to dump a pile of clothes onto Obito's desk.

Obito starts, "O-oi."

"You will take these," Madara says, and Obito realizes they're baby clothes. Used baby clothes, to be precise. He opens his mouth to protest but Madara cuts him off. "Your precious child will doubtlessly spit up or throw up or shit in these. Be grateful for my generosity."

"Um." Obito looks at the clothes, which on its face looks fine enough - a few lightly stained onesies, thinning T-shirts and tiny pants - but a gift from Madara is like a gift with a bomb in it, so he shakes his head, pushing the pile back. "Thank you, but Rin and I already have a lot of clothes."

"They are taking up space in our house. Take them. I do not care if you dispose of them."

Obito furrows his brow. "Don't you want to save them for your future children?" he says. Madara already has four and rumor had it they were trying for seven. Madara shrugs.

"Throw them in your dimension then, along with all the other useless garbage."

"Madara--"

But Madara swiftly turns and disappears into the darkness, going through a window and using his chakra to springboard out.

****

"I think it's nice," Rin says.

Obito had carted the clothes home with a few plastic bags, dumping them in the center of the floor so they could sort through them. Rin holds up a little shirt with a dinosaur on it and grins. "This is practically new," Rin says, showing him.

"He is using us to dump his garbage. If it were Hashi-san, sure, but Madara isn't exactly known for his kindness." Obito picks up a faded yellow onesie with a duck on it, examining it under the light before folding it.

"Look at this," Rin says, and Obito looks over to see Rin holding up a little purple shirt with a high-collared neck. "The Uchiha crest is embroidered on it."

"What?" Obito takes the shirt from her. "No one sells these anymore, where did he get this?"

"I don't know, but here's another one, and oh! Look at this," Rin says, and she holds up a blanket also sewn in Uchiha colors. "Aw, Obito. I think he wanted you to have this."

Obito sighs. "You do realize I'm the reason why the clan ceased to exist - I'm the one who slaughtered them."

"But you only did that because you thought you could bring them back to life. You were working alone and you needed their eyes."

"I murdered them for nothing. None of them needed to die."

There is always a point in these type of conversations where Obito gets caught up in some painful memory, where his eyes would grow wet and he would sink into a mess of guilt and self-loathing. The air around them shifts and Rin knows this is the turning point of their conversation. She smiles at him, then touches him on the arm.

"I think Madara embroidered these."

"What?" 

It's enough to stop Obito's mind from spiraling. Rin holds the shirt up, showing him. "This is hand-stitched, and I think the shirt was cut from a pattern, look."

They both peer at the fabric and see the rough stitching at the sides. "Are you sure Hashi-san didn't embroider this?" Obito says. Rin laughs at him.

"I'm 100% sure Hashi-san didn't embroider this. She doesn't have the patience for stuff like this, Uchiha Madara definitely sewed this."

"Oh, wow." Obito shakes his head and laughs. Rin grins at him.

"Can you imagine? Uchiha Madara definitely hand-sewed this. I bet he used a loom to make the fabric."

They both get an image of Madara sitting on his knees, working by candlelight, the massive bulk of his hair falling over him as he sews it. "He probably used his sharingan to do this," Obito says, and the image looks even more ridiculous. 

"Aw, look at this onesie! There's a little Uchiha crest sewn on the chest."

Obito drops his head and laughs softly.


	49. Mock up

"Madara-san actually raises a good point," Kakashi says.

Obito looks up from his papers. "Well that's a surprising sentence. What are we talking about and what point does he have?"

"The proposed changes to the curriculum. You want to add core civilian classes, but those would take away from existing shinobi education."

Obito frowns. "They would all still learn the basics. And the students could still opt to learn advanced techniques as electives."

"Yes but Obito. None of this should be optional." Kakashi spreads his papers on the desk. "We have our core shinobi subjects. Genjutsu. Ninjutsu. Taijutsu. But here you've whittled down the practice time, and here you've shaved off the techniques they'd learn under genjutsu."

"They can spar on their own time, and honestly breaking out of a genjutsu is more important than casting one."

"And what about spying and infiltration?" Kakashi says. "That should be part of the core curriculum."

"Those techniques have nothing to do with protecting yourself. Not everybody becomes ANBU or takes part in honey trap missions."

Kakashi frowns. Everything Obito's gotten rid of is actually well-thought out. Obito had meticulously listed out the subjects, figured out the pros and cons, and then set about to answer the question: will this help me defend myself?

Over half the subjects that are currently being taught are advanced techniques far removed from the basics, flashy counter-offensives that have no other tactical advantage except that they'd be cool to use. Kakashi can see the logic in this: a short sword or kunai is just as deadly as a chained mace or battle fan, but the omission of the latter still feels uncomfortable to him.

"Kakashi," Obito says, and Kakashi looks up, realizes Obito had been reading him. "It's just a proposal. We don't even know if the measures will pass or if the council will be agreeable. This is more like a template or suggestion. We needed to mock up something to serve as an example."

"I don't like that we cut out sparring time," Kakashi says. Obito gestures.

"Then we will revise it," Obito says. "Nothing is set in stone. If this even goes through, we'd have to have a whole committee to decide on this."

"What is this?" Kakashi says, and he points to a section on the diagram showing divergent paths: "shinobi" path and "civilian" path. Obito looks over Kakashi's shoulder.

"I was just thinking, for the children who would rather be civilians," Obito says. "They learn the basics, then forgo the rest of the training to concentrate on a full civilian curriculum instead."

"So what does this mean? If they can't do ninjutsu or taijutsu, they get funneled into the civilian path?"

"No, of course not. But as it is right now, all the children in the village are forced to train as shinobi. We should be giving the villagers a chance to opt out as an option."

"Who makes the decision? The kids? The parents? What if they make a mistake and want to go back?"

"It's just a framework," Obito says. "Something we can debate the finer points on if we pass."

"I think the bigger issue is that we'll be weakening our forces as compared to the other villages," Kakashi says. Obito furrows his brow, nodding.

"That's why I'm hoping to get buy-in from the other nations."

"Wait, you're taking this to the other villages?"

"I plan to bring it up at the next kage summit," Obito says. Kakashi's eyes are wide. He shakes his head.

"Obito. They will look at this and be insulted. I'm telling you, they'll think you're trying to manipulate them."

"I know." Obito rubs his head. "But that doesn't mean I can't try convincing them."


	50. Tummy Time, part 2

The baby has figured out a workaround for tummy time. Whenever they put the baby on his belly, instead of lifting his head, he'll just rest his cheek on the floor and suck on his fingers, waiting.

"Baby, baby, c'mon baby," Rin says, and she pats the baby on the back. The baby coos at her. She hears Obito walking into the bedroom.

"He's not lifting his head," Rin says. Obito kneels down and Rin waves a rattle in front of the baby's face, showing him. "C'mon baby, you need to strengthen your neck."

Obito picks up the baby and lies down, putting him on his chest. 

The baby wobbles. He starts to lose his balance, sliding down one side of Obito's chest before kicking his feet out and crying, lifting his head. 

Rin laughs at them. She lies next to Obito on her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows to coo at the baby, looking at him. 

The baby whines, then starts to slide off again. Obito catches him and sits up, letting the baby rest on his shoulder. "I think that was sixty seconds," Obito says.

"Yeah, but he really should be doing five minutes."

"He's too smart for that." Obito lies back down again. The baby whines, little arms and legs flailing on him. "Okay, okay," Obito says, and he sits up, patting the baby on the back. 

Obito sits the baby on his lap, then looks at him. The baby can tripod, balancing on his little arms, his legs frogged out while his big head wobbles at him. The baby has large dark eyes that stay fixed on Obito's face, before the baby loses balance and lists sideways.

"Oops," Obito says, and he catches the baby, picking him up again.


	51. Gaze

It's weird looking into the eyes of a baby. Rin is on her stomach in front of the baby, her face close to his as he tummy times on his belly. The baby stares at her, rapt, his eyes so dark she can't even see his pupils. His little head wobbles but the baby keeps staring straight at her, dark eyes fixed on hers as if he is trying to hypnotize her.

"You're so creepy, baby," Rin says, and the baby's head drops, then wobbles. The baby pushes his head back up and keeps staring at her. "Obito, look at our creepy baby."

"Why's he creepy?" Obito says, and he joins her on his stomach next to her. The baby's gaze shifts. He sees Obito, then tries scooting toward him, but the baby hasn't mastered scooting yet, so he just falls flat on his face.

Rin giggles. Obito picks the baby up by the armpits and sets the baby in front of him. Again the baby picks his head up, eyes locking into Obito's, his gaze fixed even as his head wobbles. 

"See?" Rin says, and Obito laughs softly. He picks the baby up to look at him, but the baby waves his little arms, then bops Obito in the face with a chubby hand.

Obito laughs. The baby bops Obito again and then stares at him, a trickle of drool forming at the baby's lip.

"You're right, Rin, he is kind of creepy." The baby paws at Obito's face before sticking his hand in Obito's mouth. Obito laughs again, kissing his fingers. Rin smiles at him.

"I think he likes my scars," Obito says, looking at her. The baby whines and Obito turns back to him. 

The baby tilts his head, eyes once again fixed in Obito's direction.

Rin laughs and shakes her head. "I think you're right," Rin says. She rubs his back, sitting next to him.

She thinks about his time in the Akatsuki. Staying in the shadows, he only moved around under cover of night, sometimes whole days passing without him seeing anybody. The only people he spoke to were Nagato and Konan, and even then it was just to deliver instructions. 

He carried so much hurt and pain and loneliness, but so long as he acted as Uchiha Madara, he was able to push it away. 

"What are you thinking about?" Obito asks, and Rin looks up, realizes she had stopped speaking. 

"I was just remembering our time in the Akatsuki."

Obito smiles. "'Our' time, huh?" He leans against her shoulder. "I forget sometimes you were with me."

"I was always watching," Rin says, and the baby coos at them happily.


	52. Gaze, part 2

The memories he has of the Moon's Eye plan and the Akatsuki take on a different meaning.

He remembers standing alone on a flat piece of rock just outside the mountains of Iwakagure, where he silently surveyed the vast and unyielding landscape, storm clouds churning the already slate gray sky. He doesn't remember what he was doing there, he just remembers the feeling: a gaping emptiness that matched the outward desolation. The air was cold and he remembers he was getting sharp, shooting pains in his face and limbs, and a feeling of suffocation which made him take off the mask.

"I remember that," Rin says. They enter the genjutsu world of his memory, two observers standing, watching the past him. "I was standing there," and she points to a dead tree just to the left of him.

They walk. In the memory, Old Obito closes his eyes and bows his head, and as Rin and Obito approach, the genjutsu memory warps and includes her memory of him.

And then Obito sees it: Rin patiently standing at the trunk of a tree, the outline of her body faintly visible as she watched him.

They do this every so often, whenever Obito thinks of it - something will trigger a memory and he'll ask Rin, "Do you remember this?" He'll fold her into his genjutsu and she'll see the place in his mind from an outsider's view, and she'll nod and quietly show him where she was next to him.

The genjutsu ends. Obito smiles shyly at Rin, who leans close and beams at him. She presses a kiss to his lips and hugs him, resting her head against the hollow of his neck and chest.

They make love quietly in the warm darkness; when it's over they curl up together, kissing softly and slowly. "I love you," he says, and his eyes open to meet hers. Rin grins and bites back a laugh.

"You're looking at me like the baby."

Obito laughs. It's joyful and surprised and happy, and he beams and presses a sloppy kiss to her forehead. "The baby and I are not creepy."

"Says the man in the cloak and the mask--"

"Quiet."

Rin giggles into his neck and cuddles him. "I love you too," she says, and her smile dissolves into something more serious. She brushes her thumb against the side of his cheek, gazing at him tenderly.

Obito smirks. "Now who's the one being creepy?"

Rin laughs and smacks his arm. "Stop it."

They kiss and hug each other before going to sleep.


	53. Tired (mature)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy petting, mutual masturbation

Before the baby, having sex was almost a daily occurrence. 

They would go to bed. Usually one would go to sleep before the other, but once the other person crawled in, the person sleeping would roll over and hug and kiss them. There would be gentle kisses and the slow, languid movement of hands drifting up and down each others' backs, holding and kissing each other until Rin's legs would part and Obito would sigh and slip inside her. Making love was a comfort to both of them, Obito spending the years before grieving and lonely while Rin ached at the sight of him suffering. Even when it was over, they'd still gently hug and kiss, smiling tiredly at each other before falling asleep.

After the baby, the frequency with which they make love drops precipitously.

It's late when Obito finally comes to bed, and Rin is lying on her side, sleeping. Carefully he crawls under the covers and cups his body against hers, hugging her close and pressing his lips against the crown of her hair. She stirs and he idly strokes the skin of her arm, and she wordlessly rolls to face him, one leg draping around his hip while she nuzzles her forehead against his chin.

"You okay?" he softly asks, and Rin nods tiredly.

"I am. I'm okay," Rin murmurs softly. He presses a soft kiss to her forehead, the pads of his fingers gently tracing over her nape. Ordinarily she would push down her panties and position herself against him, but she doesn't move, just closes her eyes and sighs quietly.

They drift to sleep. It's comfortable and warm and Obito feels himself slowly drifting, when Rin rallies herself, moving suddenly to push up and kiss him.

He murmurs, "You're not tired?" His eyes open, meeting hers.

Rin's voice is soft. "I am pretty tired."

His lips brush against her forehead. "We don't have to. I'm happy just holding you."

"I know." She kisses the tip of his nose.

Her panties are damp, and she can feel the shape of his hardness beneath his sweatpants. There's a moment of indecision as they kiss shyly, her hand ghosting over his penis and tracing waistband of his pants. When she reaches a hand in, he feels warm and ready for her touch, and he sighs and pushes up against her hand.

His hand slides down her panties, the pad of his finger gently rubbing against her nub. Rin sighs and rocks into his hand, her own hand reflexively tightening around him. Her thumb ghosts over the bead of wetness at his tip while his fingers gently stroke her clit, and she sighs and drops her head against his shoulder, exhausted but still aroused.

She waits for him to go further, to push down his pants and press the head of his erection against her, but he doesn't move, just slowly strokes her, the firmness of his touch gradually getting lighter. Rin's hand uncurls; they both pull their hands up and drape their arms across each other. "I'm tired," Rin confesses. Obito smiles and nods.

"Me too."

Rin laughs softly. She's really tired. He lifts his arm and she cuddles up against his chest, nuzzling his sternum as he wraps his arms comfortably around her.


	54. Perfect

They're going for a walk when the baby starts crying. Rin quickly looks around and sits on a park bench, holding the baby with one arm and pulling up her shirt.

"Just make sure no one's here," Rin says, and Obito glances around and gives the okay, and Rin pulls out her breast, letting the baby latch onto her nipple. All at once, the baby's eyes close and the baby's face is the picture of deep contentment, suckling deeply while Rin cradles him closely.

"No one's coming?" Rin says. Obito shakes his head.

"It's just the two of us," Obito says. "Unless you want me to kamui back home?"

"No, no, the baby's already latched." She smiles and scratches the baby's chin. Obito watches as the baby's little hand paws the front of Rin's shirt. 

It's late afternoon, and the sun is at that point in the sky where everything turns a golden hue; Rin's head is bowed and a lock of auburn hair is backlit by yellow light, and Obito watches as she smiles softly at the baby, rocking and cradling him. 

_This is what my perfect world would look like._ The thought manifests itself before he can stop it. He of all people is unworthy of such happiness, sitting on the same park bench he used to sit with Rin, but here he is now, sitting with her and their child.

"Obito?" Rin looks up, her lips parted and her brown eyes searching his. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Obito says. He smiles.


	55. Babysitting

"Uwaaaah! Look at the little baby!" Hashi says. She picks up Rin and Obito's baby by the armpits, cooing at him. She calls out to Madara, who's somewhere in the house. "Anata, remember when the kids were babies? I wanna have another baby! Their baby is so cute!"

Obito glances nervously at Rin, who's beaming wide at Hashi-san. "Thank you so much for offering to take care of him," Rin says.

"Ha ha, don't worry! We already have four of 'em, one more isn't a problem!"

Hashi disappears to coo at the baby some more while Obito discreetly leans toward Rin.

"I don't like this," Obito says under his breath. "I think we should just take the baby."

"Obito, Hashi-san offered, the two of us haven't had a night off, it's just for the weekend."

"I'm fine with Hashi-san, but Madara--" Obito glances up and sees Madara's children squealing at the baby, whose chubby face has lit up as he's surrounded by all his little cousins. "--Madara might hurt him."

"He's not going to hurt him," Rin says. The baby squeals and laughs, crawling after one of the toddlers, who's holding up a stuffed rabbit. They watch as the toddler babbles and hands the stuffed animal to him. "Besides that, look at him. He's so happy playing with the other kids."

Obito's jaw tightens. Rin touches him on the shoulder.

"Hashi-san resurrected me," Rin says. "She's been watching over us this entire time, she's the closest thing we have to family."

"Sensei isn't family?"

"Sensei didn't offer to watch the baby." The older boy makes funny faces while the baby squeals, laughing. "And I think we both don't want to impose on him."

"Oh," Hashi notices them talking, "is Tobi-kun freaking out?" She trots over to him. "Tobi-kun! It'll be fine, there's no reason to freak out!"

Obito blinks, then nods. "Thank you for taking him, Hashi-san." He hesitates a moment, then hands her the overnight bag. "There's diapers in here, and in the cooler there's breast milk. Um," Obito racks his brain, trying to think of what else. "Loud noises scare him, and if he's upset he likes being held."

"No problem! So he's like most other babies!" Hashi says. She's not being sarcastic. Rin touches Obito on the arm.

"Obito, let's go," Rin says. Obito looks back at the baby one more time.

They give the baby goodbye kisses. "Bye-bye!" Rin says to the baby. The baby waves.

"Ba byyyye!"

"Daddy, bye-bye," Rin says next to Obito, who finds himself getting teary-eyed. He quickly looks away from them.

"I think we left more breastmilk," Obito mumbles, and he swirls away before they can see him.

He teleports back home and stands in the kitchen. It takes a moment to calm himself; he lets out a breath, then opens the fridge to realize they already gave them all the pumped milk.

Shit. He checks the freezer, hoping there were at least a few frozen bags he could use to cover the pretense, but there's nothing in the freezer either. He looks around, and after a moment of indecision, grabs a handful of bananas to give to them.

He swirls back to Hashi's house, where Rin and Hashi-san turn to look at him.

"Um." He holds up the bunch of bananas. "He's starting solids. He likes it when you mash them."

"Oh! Okay. But I thought you were getting more milk?" Hashi says. The door behind them opens.

"Clearly that was an excuse so my idiot apprentice could go collect himself," Madara says. Obito's face reddens. Madara turns to Rin and benevolently adds, "Do not worry. Your child is in excellent hands."

"Thank you so much, Madara-san," Rin says.

"Hm. You are indeed quite splendid. How unfortunate you could not expand your horizons beyond that pathetic fool of a pupil."


	56. Babysitting, part 2

Hashi's cellphone rings on the kitchen table.

"Anata," Hashi calls out from the kitchen. "The cellular phone is ringing again."

She picks up the phone, whose lock screen consists of a selfie of Izuna making a duck face and showing off his abs (neither of them knows how to change it), then wanders over toward Madara, who's watching his children sitting cross-legged on the floor. "Hi Rin-chan!" Hashi says. "It's only been a few hours, that was quick!"

Madara's eyes slide upwards. Hashi walks around in a circle, listening good-naturedly. "Uh huh. Uh huh. Oh, hi Tobi-kun! Yes, don't worry. The baby's fine, he's just playing."

The baby crawls over toward the toddler, who's gumming the handle of Madara's sword (it's sheathed, obviously. Even Madara tries to be at least somewhat careful). 

"What are they playing? Oh, let me take a look." Hashi turns and and sees both babies gnawing on the pommel.

"Don't put that in your mouth, babies! The sword is dirty, don't eat that!"

" _What?_ " Obito's voice filters out from the phone.

"Sorry, sorry, I gotta go," Hashi says.

" _Wait wait wait, are they playing with a swor--"_

Hashi hangs up the phone and tosses it on the table, getting on her knees to pull the sword away from the toddler.


	57. A Fight

"Rin! They're letting them play with weapons, we have to go!"

Obito is grabbing his things, yanking the suitcase off the bed. "I can't kamui that far a distance, we'll have to do successive teleportations."

"Are you sure they're playing with swords?" Rin says. Obito quickly zips up the suitcase.

"Yes!"

"But Hashi-san and Madara were in the room with them?"

_"Yes."_

"I don't know," Rin says. Obito rushes around the room, shoving more things in the bag."You do have a tendency to overreact--"

A yank of the zipper. "I am not overreacting, I heard them."

"Even if they were looking at their weapons, it sounds like they're being supervised, and Hashi is a sort of medic nin, if something happens she wouldn't even need hand signs to heal them--"

"Rin, you cannot be serious." Obito tosses another bag. "Our child is playing with weapons. I should have known not to trust them."

"You mean you should have known not to trust _me_ ," Rin says. Obito keeps zipping up luggage.

"I didn't say that. Senju Hashirama is a living god, anyone could be fooled by that--"

"So you're calling me foolish?" Rin says.

"I'm not--" he starts, but he takes a breath, frustrated. "I'm worried," he says. "We left our child with Madara and his feral children."

"They have four kids they managed to keep alive, I'm sure the baby's happy and everything's fine."

"You can stay, or you can come back with me," Obito says. "After I get home I won't have enough chakra to teleport. I can't come get you if you don't come with me."

"So you're just going to leave me?" Rin says. Obito spreads his hands.

"Our baby was eating a sword!"

"The hilt of a sword! And you're not even sure about that."

Obito makes a frustrated sound, pacing.

"I can't believe this, Obito. Our first night off and we're just fighting! Don't you know how long it's been? You've been practically living at the Hokage compound, I barely get to see you anymore!"

"Okay," Obito says. He sits on the bed and takes a breath. "Okay, you're right. We shouldn't be fighting."

"Thank you," Rin says. Obito shakes his head.

"I'm worried, Rin. What if something happens?"

"Well maybe Kakashi can check on them?"

They both fall silent as they consider their options.

"Hello?" Kakashi is reading his newest ero novel when Obito calls. He puts the phone between his cheek and shoulder, listening. "You want me to check on Madara?"

He flips a page, only half-listening, but then he hears the next few words and sits up immediately.

"Wait, he's letting them play with swords?"


	58. The First Fight

This is what happened before their trip.

"You're staying late again?" Rin says. She's on the phone with the baby on her hip, Obito overworked and apologetic. First it was the education proposals and now it's some inter-village brouhaha about trade regulations.

She's giving the baby a bath when Obito swirls in at the bedroom, careful to take off his shoes and hold them in his hand as he quickly walks toward her.

"Hey," Rin says.

"Hey," he says, and kisses her on the cheek. "I have some bad news."

"What is it?" Rin says. The baby splashes in the tub and Obito sighs tiredly.

"There's an emergency inter-village meeting, I'll be gone for the next few days."

"Again?" Rin says. Obito smiles apologetically.

She puts the baby to bed. Switching off the light, she rises to see Obito finish packing. "When will you be back?" she says.

"I don't know," Obito says. "Unfortunately there's a trade summit scheduled next week, worse comes to worst I'll have to leave from there directly."

A quick kiss goodbye, then a tired wave at the front door, where he's meeting Kakashi. "Yo," Kakashi says. Rin smiles and waves at him.

This isn't what Rin had envisioned when she was first resurrected. True, she had passed her boards and she was working as a medic nin up until recently, but ever since she started having pregnancy complications she had no choice but to stop working.

"I want to work again," Rin says. It's been six months now and the baby is crawling. Obito nods.

"We can go to a daycare or hire a nanny?"

"You don't mind?" Rin says. Obito smiles at her.

"Of course not. I want you to be happy."

She registers as a formal medic, but the only jobs available are multi-day missions, with Obito being Hokage there would be no one to watch the baby - they don't have any family and they can't hire a nanny for just a few days, and there aren't any babysitters who would be consistently available on such short notice.

She stays at home. Holding the baby, she walks through the village square and checks the bingo book and activity board, but the only day-long missions available are listed for genin, she can't apply for them as a chuunin.

"It's lonely having to take care of the baby," Rin says, when Obito gets home.

Obito tilts his head. "Lonely? Really?"

"I have no one to talk to. All my friends go on missions and the only stay-at-home parents are civilians."

"I'm sorry," he says, and he hugs her.

The daycares are full. She puts the baby on a waiting list and goes about trying to hire a nanny. They're all civilians, none of them wants to watch a shinobi baby.

The days pass. Rin wakes up with the baby, burps the baby, breastfeeds and rocks and sings to the baby. She wanders around the park and to the activity board, narrates her days grocery shopping. The baby listens to her, rapt, while Rin shows the baby the different types of vegetables and hefts heavy bags of rice.

Obito's schedule gets worse. She puts the baby down in his crib, then sits up and waits for him. Hours pass, and Rin wakes up, realizing she had fallen asleep in the kitchen.

"Where were you?" she asks, seeing Obito swirl out from the darkness.

"I'm sorry, there was an emergency meeting, the leader of Root was trying to stage a coup."

Tears prick her eyes and she paces around the room, agitated. "I wish you were out drinking like other shitty men, at least then I'd be allowed to get mad at you!"

It's a one-sided fight. Obito just stands there feeling bad but Rin can't swallow back her anger. He has a family! He has a baby! They don't stop existing just because he's Hokage!

"I know," Obito says. "I'm sorry."

"That doesn't matter because it doesn't change!"

"I could kamui back," Obito says. "Just for a few minutes to see you?"

"I don't want a few minutes, I want to be with you!"

It's irrational, and it isn't fair. But Rin is tired and stressed out and the baby's colicky and teething, she just wants to sit on the couch with her husband...

...except he's not her husband, not technically, because on paper he's still deceased and he hasn't had time to try and change it.

"We're not even married!" Rin says. "I'm sick of it! You can't even take one day off to take care of this?"

He looks so sad when she yells at him, and then it makes her feel bad.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I just miss you."

"It's okay. I know you do."

("That first year is always the hardest," her friend tells her. "It gets better when they can take care of themselves, I promise.")

She's at the park, sitting on the bench while the baby plays in the sandbox. She's exhausted and her shoulders are hunched, when Hashi beams and waves, skipping toward her.

"Oooh! I love babies! This one is the cutest!" She picks up the baby, hugging him. "Ne, Rin-chan, if you and Tobi ever wanna have a getaway weekend, I would love to go and babysit him!"

"Really?" Rin's head snaps up. Hashi is playing with the baby, cooing and poking his little cheeks.

"Yeah, of course! It's hard when you have kids, and neither of you have family. I could even watch him this weekend if you guys don't have anything."

A weekend with just the two of them. Rin's eyes fill with tears.

"Rin-chan!" Hashi sits forward. "Oh no, Rin-chan, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Because Obito will probably be too busy." She sniffs and wipes her eyes pathetically.

In the Hokage compound, Hashi shows up and kicks down the door.

"Shodai-sama, what--" the advisors stand. "Is there a problem?"

"I want you to tell me whatever inter-village trade-tariff who-cares threat-level issues are so I can go take care of them."

"What?"

The next day, news trickles out that whatever agitators at the border have dispersed after Hashi had singlehandedly neutralized the conflict.

"Yay!" Hashi says to Madara. "Now I can spend the weekend playing with the baby!"

"Hmph."


	59. Apologies

"So the sword was sheathed?" Obito paces around the room while Kakashi talks to him, Rin sitting on the bed with her hands clasped in her lap. She doesn't like fighting and she feels bad, realizing that she was prioritizing alone time with Obito instead of wanting to protect their baby.

Obito keeps talking to Kakashi. "And you got Madara to lock away their weapons?"

_"I convinced Madara-san that if he really were a true shinobi, a simple weapons rack would not stop him. Then he told me his taijutsu was superior anyway and if someone did try to break in he would be hard-pressed not to accidentally kill them."_

"Good to know his ego still makes it easy to manipulate him."

" _Since when have you been able to manipulate him_?"

"Good point," Obito says. He sits on the bed next to Rin, then smiles at her. "You always were a better shinobi than me."

He hangs up the phone and sets it on the nightstand before straightening, rubbing Rin's back.

Rin sags miserably. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's good we got a hold of Kakashi."

"No I mean, I'm sorry about everything. About yelling at you and endangering our baby."

"You didn't endanger the baby, I was overreacting." He rubs his hand up and down her back. Rin sighs and leans against him.

"I don't like that we've been fighting," Rin says.

"People fight. It happens."

"Yeah but I still feel bad about it," Rin says. Obito hugs her.

"You got mad at me because you couldn't see me. That makes me kind of happy."

Rin scoffs. "You're crazy."

"So I've been told."

"What's been going on over there anyway?" Rin says, straightening. Obito sighs, taking her hand.

"The whole education thing had a lot of ripple effects," Obito says. "It's been opposed by both the council and ANBU's leadership. I tried disbanding Root, which led to several resignations and then the coup, and I suppose word got out about our domestic problems, other villages are using that as leverage to pressure me."

"And on top of all that you had to come home and deal with me. Ugh, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Obito says. He smiles and rubs her back again. "You're exhausted and isolated. I know the feeling."

It's a relief when they have sex, which is more about comfort than anything. "When was the last time we did this?" Rin asks. She speaks quietly, leaning against his chest. Obito considers.

"Hm. A month, maybe?"

"I think it's been longer."

"Sorry," Obito says, and Rin settles against him.

"Rin?"

"Yeah?"

"What if we kept the baby at my office?" He shifts to look at her. Rin looks up, frowning.

"You can do that?"

"I don't see why not," Obito says. "Most of the things I do is administrative. We could set him in a playpen and let him crawl around. Worse comes to worst I'll just make a kage bunshin or keep him safe in my dimension."

"I thought you didn't know how to make kage bunshin?"

"I mean, I haven't tried since we were kids, I could probably figure it out now." He threads his fingers through her hair, thoughtfully. "Missions go through the Hokage office. If I knew which ones you were going on I could arrange my schedule around it."

"Well that's not fair, that's asking a lot of you," Rin says.

"Well I'm hoping we'll eventually get off that waitlist at the daycare."

"Yeah, I hope so too."

"Rin?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry we're not yet married." He searches her face, quietly. "I didn't think you cared."

"I don't, not really," Rin confesses. Her fingers drift over his sternum. "I was just mad and it seemed like something else I could yell at you about."

"I'll work on it," Obito says. "I promise."

"I still don't understand how they let you work when you're legally dead."

"It's good the shinobi system is separate from the civilians," Obito says. They both fall quiet.

"Rin?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for threatening to leave you here," he says. Rin shakes her head.

"It's okay, you were worried about the baby."

"I shouldn't have done that, though," Obito says. He searches her eyes. "I love you so much," he says. "You mean everything to me. And then to just leave you here and not take you with me....Rin I'm so sorry."

Rin smiles at him and touches his face. "You didn't leave," Rin says. 


	60. Advice

"I was thinking about your predicament, and it occurred to me that I could offer you some insight."

Obito sighs and rubs his head, because once again it's the middle of the night and Madara has appeared out from nowhere to harass him in the Hokage office. "What predicament? And what makes you think I want your insight?"

Madara smirks. "It seems to me you are in over your head," Madara says. "That little overnight sojourn of yours has all the earmarks of a floundering relationship. I assume she is weaning, is she not?"

"Weaning?" Obito looks up.

"The child is no longer nursing, and yet your precious Rin is still pumping. Females tend to get needlessly weepy when they are no longer breastfeeding--"

"'Females'?" Obito says.

"--which is to be expected, of course, as they are irrational creatures who are slaves to their hormones."

"Does Hashi-san know she's a slave to her hormones, or have you not deigned to tell her?"

"Hmph. She is aware enough. Fortunately for her, her cheerful idiocy does much to mitigate it."

"Wow," Obito says.

"But more to the point: the child is young. Why is he no longer nursing?"

Obito considers his options: tell Madara it's none of his business or indulge him and get him out of the office. "He's teething," Obito says, because it's the quickest way to get Madara the hell out of the office. "He hasn't wanted to nurse for a few weeks now, so Rin's been pumping and bottle-feeding," and he notes to himself the strangeness of the situation, talking about Rin's breastfeeding habits with his erstwhile mentor.

"And yet the idiot girl still wants to go on away missions, despite the need to empty her breasts every few hours and tether herself to that so-called pump machine?"

Honestly, Obito had thought the same thing, but he wasn't stupid enough to tell Madara that. "Not all away missions are field missions. Why are you breaking into my office?"

"It is hard to watch a former pupil flounder so pathetically, as it is ultimately a reflection on my teaching."

"Tch."

"I only mean to help," Madara says. "Despite your protestations, you are an Uchiha. The fate of our clan rests on that woman taking your seed."

Obito glares, reddening. "We're done with this conversation. Get out of my office."

"I suggest flowers," Madara says. "Or perhaps chocolates or some other insipid gift. How long has it been since the you of two have been intimate? I suspect it is with diminishing regularity."

"I am not talking about my sex life with you, get the hell out of my office."

"Hmm."


	61. The Birds and the Bees and Naruto, dattebayo!

"Naruto! Minato! Come down! I made pancakes and eggs!" Kushina says.

"Uwah!" Naruto says. "Ma and Dad are makin' pancakes and eggs!"

Naruto bounds down the steps and hops into the kitchen where Minato and Kushina are already at the table sitting.

"Thank you for the meal!" Naruto says, and he digs his chopsticks into his bowl of scrambled eggs.

"Naruto," Minato says.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"Your mother and I have something to tell you."

"Yeah?" His mom's pancakes are super tasty, Naruto is grinning ear to ear. Minato smiles and takes Kushina's hand.

"Naruto, you're going to be an older brother."

"Eh?" Naruto looks up, a piece of egg stuck to his bottom lip. "How'm I gonna be an older brother?"

"Well, Naruto," Minato smiles, "Your mom just found out she's pregnant."

"We're gonna have a baby, dattebane!" Kushina says.

"What? Eh? Baby?" Naruto stares. "Wait a minute, what about me? I thought I was your baby?"

"Well," Minato smiles at Kushina and blushes, rubbing his neck. "I was just so happy to see your mom, we had a happy accident."

"Eh?" Naruto blinks. "Accident? Huh? Whaddaya mean, accident?" Minato and Kushina glance at each other.

"Is Ma okay?!" Naruto says. "Ma! Did something happen?! What'd Dad mean by 'accident'?!"

Minato and Kushina exchange worried looks. "Naruto," Minato begins, "has anyone ever explained to you...um, you know. Explained to you about sex?"

"Huh? Yeah. Sex! I know about sex! Iruka told me. There's a sperm and an egg and they hit together and it forms a baby!"

Minato looks relieved. "Oh, good."

"...but what'd you mean by 'accident'?"

"Um." Minato glances at Kushina again. "Wait, back up. How much do you know about sex?"

"It's how babies are made, dattebayo!"

"Yes, but..." Minato gestures. "Do you, ah. Know about the mechanics? You know, how things..." Minato looks lost, "how things, uh, fit, and everything?"

"Eh?" Naruto blinks, confused. Minato hesitates.

"Well..."

"Your father is sayin', we've been havin' lots of sex, but we weren't usin' condoms, dattebane!"

"Kushina!" Minato says, horrified. Naruto's eyes widen.

"Wait, what?" Naruto says. Kushina barrels forward.

"It's when two people touch their private parts and make each other feel good, dattebane!"

"Yeah, but how's that make a baby?"

"Well a man puts his penis in a woman's vagina, and then he moves it back and forth until--"

"Aggh! Kushina!" Minato says, waving his hands and blushing.

"What?" Kushina says. "Honey! Obviously he doesn't know anything! His voice hasn't even dropped yet, dattebane--"

"Should we be that explicit? Don't they teach this stuff in school already?"

Kushina holds up her index finger. "Naruto. If you sleep with someone, wear a condom. Be respectful. And always let them stay the night an' offer breakfast in the morning!"

"Wait a minute, Ma! I don't care about that! How are you and Pops having another baby?!"

Minato and Kushina glance at each other, worried.

*****

"You want to add sex education to the curriculum?" Obito says. Minato nods, gravely. "Don't they already teach that?"

"Not the mechanics, apparently."

"Ah."


	62. Cat

Sometimes, when Obito was acting as Madara, he would fall inexplicably quiet. Rin would watch, hovering just above him, while Obito would stand in the shadows, watching silently. More often than not, she would see the faint red sheen of his Sharingan reflecting from the eyelet of his mask.

She's putting the baby down in his crib when she sees Obito standing by an open window. The moon is out, and his silhouette is backlit by silvery moonlight. It reminds her of when he was in the Akatsuki, and wordlessly Rin closes the door to the baby's room and steps beside him, her hand gently coming to rest on the small of his back.

Obito smiles. "Hey," he says.

"Hey yourself." She loops her arm around his waist and tugs him close, rubbing his lower back. "What are you looking at?"

Obito turns his gaze outward again, at the moon and the black strip of horizon stretching below it. A pensive, quiet expression. "I think I see a cat," Obito says. Rin blinks, surprised.

"A cat?"

"Over there." He points and Rin looks, and sure enough, there's a stray cat wandering by the garbage can. "I wonder if someone owns it," Obito says.

"I think there's a collar," Rin says, and they both peer outward, seeing the glimpse of red plastic around the cat's neck. Rin ducks her head and laughs fondly.

Obito gives her a puzzled look. "What's so funny?"

"You had this angsty, worried look. But you were just staring at that cat."

"Oh." Obito laughs, embarrassed. Rin giggles and squeezes her arm around him.

"You know, when I was a ghost, whenever you'd get all depressed, I'd be right next to you. I used to rub your back just like this."

"That feels nice," Obito says. He smiles. "You used to sleep next to me too?"

"Of course." Rin rests her lips against his bicep before pressing a small kiss against his arm. "Ghosts don't sleep though. I just pretty much lied there."

Obito smiles and ducks his head. Rin grins and shakes his arm, fondly.

They lay in bed, holding each other and kissing softly. She presses featherlight kisses against his lips, chaste and smiling. He beams and she nuzzles him, her arms wrapping around him. When she looks up she sees him gazing quietly into her eyes.

Rin tilts her face upward, smiling and brushing her lips against his.

He used to be so lonely. Rin curls around him, remembering how he'd hunch into himself, his teeth clenching beneath the mask as he squeezed his eyes, angry tears rolling down the sides of his face. Secret, shameful moments of weakness. He had no idea she was watching.

She kisses him generously on the mouth, her hands drifting up and down his back, before pressing gentle kisses to his face and lips. They make love quietly in the dark, and after it's over, she rests her head on her pillow, eyes flicking upward and smiling softly at him.

He touches the side of her face, letting his hand cup her cheek before following the curve of her neck and shoulder. He pulls her against his chest, sighing tiredly and resting his arms around her.


	63. Cat, part 2

He's standing at the window again, looking silently out into the murky darkness just before daybreak, when Rin trots up behind him and throws her arms around his back.

Obito starts. "Rin?" Rin laughs and presses her lips between his shoulderblades.

"I just wanted to hug you because you looked depressed." She gives him a fond squeeze. Obito laughs.

"I was actually just looking at that cat."

"Again?" Rin says. Obito nods.

"It has a baby," he says.

She peers around his shoulder. The cat is walking below them, tail up and a carrying a fuzzy kitten mewing cutely from its mouth.


	64. Kaguya

"He's a goner. He'll rot away like trash and die. Why do you sympathize with him? He was your enemy, right? Then again, he's a traitor to us now. A loser on both sides. Hated and resented by friend and foe alike, with no one to call comrade or family, he's alone with nothing left. He's lost everything precious to him and can't realize his dreams. And after being used up, he's helpless at the end. He's a fool, filled with nothing but mistakes."

Naruto started, "Teme! You've done nothing but--"

"You're right," Obito said. "It's a fitting end for the criminal I am."

Rin held her breath. Naruto squeezed his eyes.

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it--"

Obito's voice was gentle. "That's enough," he said. He turned and smiled at him. "Thank you, Naruto. After fighting you, I feel like I've woken up."

Rin stepped close, rested a hand on Obito's arm, leaning against him. If they were still in the gravity dimension, he'd be able to feel her, but now she could only hope he knew she was watching. Behind them, Naruto gritted his teeth, his chakra flowing outward, before Obito's body crumbled to dust.

*****

"This is the Hokage office?" Naruto says. He runs around the office, looking at the filing cabinets and the desk and the stacks and stacks of books lying around the floor. Obito chuckles, shaking his head.

"I would have thought you'd seen this place when Tsunade-sama was in office."

"Eh? She only yelled at me, dattebayo." Naruto grins, rubbing his neck.

Rin gets up from the couch, smiling. "Thank you for helping him," Rin says.

"Oh! Oneechan, you saw all that?"

"I did," Rin says, smiling. Obito looks at her, surprised. Rin steps beside him and shakes her head. "He told you to become Hokage. Right now he's just keeping your seat warm."

Obito laughs. "I am," Obito says, and Naruto grins happily at them.

"He's a good kid," Rin says, after Naruto leaves. She leans against Obito's side, an arm curling around his waist. "I think he'll really be Hokage someday."

"He's gonna find out it's mostly a pain in the ass."

Rin laughs. Obito chuckles ruefully as she grins and kisses his shoulder.


	65. Kaguya, part 2

"Did it hurt?" Rin asks. She strokes the side of his stomach. "When Kaguya's chakra rod pierced you. Did it hurt you?"

Obito shifts her close, stroking her back with his thumb thoughtfully. "It did," he says. "Then again, pretty much everything hurt. That was just one more thing."

"What did it feel like, when you started crumbling?" Rin asks. She shifts to look at him. Obito considers.

"Weird," Obito says, and Rin laughs into his neck. He smiles, shifting her close. "I guess, it felt sort of similar to whenever my right hand fell off. Like dead skin peeling from a burn. The parts that fell away felt like nothing but underneath it hurt."

"I was there, you know," Rin says. She presses her lips to his shoulder, her fingers drifting over his abdomen. "I really thought I'd be seeing both you and Kakashi again."

"Were you disappointed?"

"A little bit."

"I knew it."

"I'm kidding," Rin says, smiling. She kisses his sternum, then rests her cheek on his chest, her fingers tracing over the spot.

He turns on his side, kissing her full on the lips and pressing against her body. Rin sighs quietly and kisses him back, her hands running up and down his back.

"Rin?"

"Yeah?"

"Wanna have sex?" his eyes open, meeting hers. Rin starts to laugh. 

"Yeah," she says. She grins, kissing him.


	66. Kaguya, part 3 (explicit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PIV sex.

It feels good as he keeps thrusting rhythmically, and Rin makes soft, sobbing little cries with each stroke. She hears him draw a ragged breath, then shudder, clutching her body as he pulses hard inside her.

They catch their breath, Rin's arms resting across Obito's back as he breathes heavily, still pulsing. Each throb makes her quiver and jerk, small, sharp slashes of pleasure as he lies on top of her. 

"I'm close," she whispers, and she opens her eyes to meet his. He sighs and kisses her neck, then reaches between their bodies to stroke her. A few firm strokes on her nub, and Rin gasps and jerks, twitching hard under his hand while he's still locked inside her. 

The jerking subsides. Her orgasm fades into a few pleasant aftershocks, and Obito kisses her, smiling. She smiles and rests a hand on his head.

They kiss. He's still inside her, but he pushes in slowly, a few languid pumps as they softly kiss, and she squeezes a little around him.

"This is nice," she says. She touches his face. He ducks his head, smiling shyly.

They kiss again, and she feels him throb a little, still pumping slowly. He's not all the way hard but he's not flaccid either, and they stay connected as they kiss and hold each other, him gently moving in and out of her.

Her hands drift up and down the skin of his back, her fingertips ghosting over the bumps of his spine and the muscle of his ribs, and it isn't until he's mouthing the side of her neck and gently kneading her breast that she realizes he's hard again. What started as a few slow languid pumps had blossomed into gentle, deep thrusts, and she can feel him lengthen and thicken inside her.

"Wait--" she gasps, then giggles, wrapping her arms around him. "I didn't even pee yet, don't you have a refractory period?"

"It's been a few minutes." He sighs into her neck. "You feel really good, Rin."

Rin snorts. He grins and kisses her neck, thrusting harder.


	67. Ichigo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi/OC

Obito and Kakashi are walking down the civilian quarter when Kakashi grabs Obito's arm.

"Shit," Kakashi says. Obito glances back, sees Kakashi's eyes widen. A bead of sweat forms at his temple.

"What's wrong?" Obito says. Kakashi yanks him to the side.

"Pretend that you're my boyfriend."

"What?"

"I said _pretend that you're my boyfriend_ , you owe me, now do it."

"Okay okay, geez--"

Kakashi plasters on a smile, squaring his shoulders as Obito looks around stupidly and holds Kakashi's hand.

There is a man walking toward them. "Oh hey, Kakashi," the man says. He looks Kakashi and Obito up and down.

Kakashi gives him a look of disaffected cool, the kind of look that made Rin wet in the panties when they were genin. "Yo."

The man's eyes slide toward Obito. "Who's this?" And in Obito's best Idiot Tobi voice, he goes,

" _I'm Kakashi's boyfriend~~!_ "

"Oh really?" the man says. He smirks. Kakashi widens his eyes at Obito.

 _Dial it back, you idiot_.

_Well what the fuck did you want me to do?_

"Ichigo, this is my friend--"

"--Madara," Obito says.

"--Tobi," Kakashi says.

The man smirks at them. "Is it Madara or is it Tobi?" he says. They glance at each other.

Obito pushes Kakashi back. "Madara," Obito says, in Madara's voice. He glances at Kakashi. _Just fucking shut up and let me do this_ , and Kakashi takes a step back, sweating visibly. "I apologize. My friend here was nervous as he was approaching you."

"Oh is that right?" Ichigo gives them a smug look, his eyes meeting Kakashi. Just as Madara would, Obito sniffs, arrogantly.

"And let me guess," Obito says. "You are a civilian. And judging from that smug, self-satisfied look, you are silently giving yourself a pat on the back for dating and dumping a shinobi. You are lucky you didn't get yourself killed," Obito says, lightly. "You know he's killed other nin for considerably less."

"Hmm. Well just between you and me, 'Madara,' I find it pretty pathetic that he has to pretend you're his boyfriend."

"Hmm. Indeed. We are not dating. That doesn't mean we are not fucking, however."

"Eh?" the man pales. Obito smiles.

"I let him indulge," Obito says. He cracks his neck, smiling. "You see, there are things only other shinobi know. Things that just can't be found with a mere civilian."

The man blinks. Obito's eyes narrow. _Bingo_.

"Kakashi let's go," Obito says. "This man is annoying," and Kakashi watches in wonder as Obito stuffs his hands in his pockets, strolling away smugly.

"Obito, what the hell was that?" Kakashi says, when the man is out of earshot. Obito shrugs.

"That guy dumped you because he was emasculated by you," Obito says.

"What? He...well he broke up with me because he said I was too needy."

"Hmph. He broke up with you because you're a shinobi, you're surrounded by people who are better and stronger than he is. He's an insecure little man and he doesn't deserve you."

Kakashi doesn't say anything. Obito tilts his head.

"You really liked him, didn't you?" Obito says. Kakashi glances over.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I can't imagine Hatake Kakashi being needy."

"Shut up."

"Why aren't you dating someone nice?" Obito says. "What about that guy at that bookstore you like--"

"Because that's where I get all my ero novels, I won't be able to shop there if I break up with him."

"Can't you just shop online?"

Kakashi rolls his eyes.

*****

It's a few weeks after Obito and Rin have met Kakashi's new boyfriend - the mousy bookstore owner Kakashi brought to the village - and they're having a double date. "Date" being the operative word, because it's not so much a date as it is Kakashi bringing this guy over so Obito can interrogate him. "Obito I need you to use your freaky Uchiha powers of observation and tell me if he's good or not," Kakashi had said. Obito coughed.

"He seems nice, why are you sabotaging it?"

"The other guy seemed nice too. And you know, just because you're with Rin now doesn't mean you get to give me dating advice. We both know that was just a lucky fluke."

"Hm."

"Is Kakashi really that nervous?" Rin asks. She tucks the baby into the stroller and covers him with a blanket. Obito shakes his head.

"Apparently he's afraid of coming across as too needy."

"Ooh."

They meet at the restaurant. The baby doesn't like the high chair, so Obito sits him on his lap so Rin can eat, feeding the baby by hand while the baby gurgles and squeals. Rin is making small-talk with Kakashi's date, and pretty soon all three of them are bonding over Icha Icha Paradise and debating their favorite ero novels.

"I like him!" Rin says. She grabs Kakashi's arm. "Kiyotsugu is so nice! And he's cute, too! You should totally keep seeing him!"

Kakashi laughs, blushing. "He is nice, isn't he?"

"Cute _and_ nice! He's definitely nicer than that Ichigo guy you were seeing."

"You know about that?" Kakashi says, surprised. Rin grins at him.

"I mean, I was mostly haunting Obito, but occasionally I'd haunt you, so...."

"You guys finished talking about me?" the man says, smiling. He and Obito walk up toward them.

"Oh, Kiyotsugu," Kakashi straightens. "You were talking with Obito?"

"We were comparing notes about how you're a dumbass," Obito says, walking past them. The man laughs.

"He was telling me stories," the man says, blushing. Kakashi gives Obito a look.

"What? It's you. You look good no matter what you do," Obito says.

Nighttime now. The man and Rin keep chatting amiably while Kakashi pulls Obito to the side. "So?" Kakashi says.

"So, what?"

"So what do you think?"

"He's nice," Obito says.

"And?"

"And he's nice. I don't have a crystal ball, you might still do something stupid and screw it all up."

"But?"

"But I don't think you need to worry about him," Obito says. He nods toward them. "He loves you. I don't know why, you're a pain in the ass, but he really does want to be with you." Obito looks at him, pointedly. "You're not still hung up on that Ichigo asshole, right?"

"What? No, that guy's old news--"

"Because from where I'm standing, Kiyotsugu is good for you." Obito crosses his arms.

"Obito!" Rin waves toward them, the baby in one hand and pushing the empty stroller with the other. Obito jogs toward them and takes the stroller.

Kakashi watches. He watches how Obito bends over toward Rin, smiling as he picks up the baby. They look comfortable and happy together. Kiyotsugu comes up behind them.

"Jealous?" Kiyotsugu says. Kakashi shakes his head.

"I was just thinking it's good for them," Kakashi says. "They both had a tough go of it. Especially him," Kakashi says, looking at Obito. He turns toward Kiyotsugu. "Did you know he used to be a warlord, and that he brought about the Fourth Shinobi War?"

"Really?" Kiyotsugu says. Kakashi nods.

"You asked once what happened to me and him, and I said I'd tell you some other time. It's a long story. Do you want to hear it?"

"Yeah," Kiyotsugu says. He holds Kakashi's hand.


	68. After the War (tw: suicide mention)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suicidal ideation, discussion of suicide

"It's getting dark," Minato said. He set down his pack, gesturing toward the small clearing in the woods. "I'll be lookout just ahead. You two get some rest."

"Hai." Kakashi and Obito set down their things, Obito starting a fire with his katon while Kakashi set up the field tent.

It was their first official mission chaperoning Obito, but quickly they had started working as if they never left Team Minato. They worked well together, and if he were honest, Kakashi had missed this: he had missed working with his old friend.

The woods were quiet. Just above them, Kakashi could just make out the faint outline of the moon through the treetops. Obito didn't speak. He unrolled his pack, zipped up the side of the canvass bag, then took his perch on the other side of the fire.

"I guess small talk is out of the question," Kakashi said. Obito looked up.

"Small talk? What do you mean?"

Kakashi gestured. "I mean, after everything that happened. You being a criminal warlord and newly resurrected."

Obito tossed a stick into the fire. "Try me."

Kakashi leaned back, considering.

"So what was up with that Tobi personality?" Kakashi said.

"Oh, that?" Obito tossed a stick. "Just blowing off some steam. Madara is such an imposing figure, it was fun to let loose once in awhile. But it was mostly strategic," Obito said.

"Strategic? How do you mean?" Kakashi said. Obito shrugged.

"I was concerned Nagato was going to betray me." He tossed another stick into the fire. "At the time, the organization was floundering. He was acting more like a freedom fighter and he had stopped prioritizing capturing the bijou. I infiltrated as Tobi to let him know I was watching."

"But why act like an idiot?" Kakashi asked. Obito's mouth quirked.

"As I said: to blow off steam. But also so the others wouldn't suspect me."

"Huh," Kakashi said, and they fell silent again.

The fire crackled. The two men sat silently around the campfire while Minato kept watch in the grove a few meters ahead of them.

"So," Obito began. He cleared his throat. "Uh. Are you seeing anyone?"

Kakashi fed a stick into the fire. "Is that your attempt at small talk?"

"Well what the hell else are we supposed to talk about?"

"I don't know. The weather? It's been twenty years. We have a lot to talk about."

"Alright then," Obito put his hands on his knees, leaning forward. "Are you seeing anyone?"

"Not at the moment." Kakashi leaned toward the fire, its orange flames reflecting in his eyes. "By the way, I should probably tell you, I'm gay."

"Oh." Obito looked up, surprised. "Really? I never knew that about you."

"I mean we were kids back then, so..."

"Anyone ever give you any trouble?" Obito asked. Kakashi shook his head.

"Not really."

"Mm."

The two men lapsed into silence, not really saying anything.

"So uh, any cute...any cute guys?" Obito said. Kakashi snorted.

"Good to know you're still a dumbass."

"Well what the hell am I supposed to ask?"

Kakashi tossed another stick in the fire. Obito shifted awkwardly.

"Kakashi, I just...you know. That doesn't matter to me."

"Good."

"You know, in case...in case you were worried."

"I wasn't worried."

"You are so fucking annoying, you know that?" Obito said, and he had that same petulant look he had when they were kids. "I'm trying to be supportive."

Kakashi chuckled. "Thanks," Kakashi said. "I appreciate it."

Obito nodded, then stirred the ashes in the fire.

"So did you really see Rin?" Kakashi asked. Obito nodded.

"I did," Obito said. He looked at the fire. "I'd like to think she's still watching, but to be honest, I'm not sure if what I saw was real. I could've been hallucinating."

"Hallucinating?"

Obito gestured. "What happens when the brain gets deprived of oxygen. I was dying," Obito said. "That split second before my body turned to ash, there's a flood of endorphins. All your neural pathways light up. They say you see a tunnel of light, but maybe in my case, that was me seeing Rin."

"We both felt her presence in the gravity dimension."

"That could have been coincidence." Obito fell silent, staring at the fire again. "I want to believe that she forgave me," Obito said. The fire crackled, the orange light bouncing off the scars of his face. "But I think we both know that's just wishful thinking."

"I don't know, Obito. You know, I talked to my dad before Nagato resurrected me."

"Are you sure about that?" Obito asked softly. They both stared into the fire.

*****

This is what happened after the war.

The battlefield was a bombed-out waste by the time it was over. Kakashi stood, hands on his knees and catching his breath, watching as the undead kages' bodies started to crack and flake upwards like embers of a fire. From the corner of his eye, he could see his sensei and Naruto exchanging goodbyes, while just to the left of him, Hashi was kneeling in front of Madara, saying nothing. Her hair covered her eyes and her teeth were clenched. She was crying, and even from far away, Kakashi could tell Madara had died.

Kakashi held his arm, then limped painfully forward, joining Gai and the others when something like thunder cracked behind them.

"What--" Kakashi whirled around and saw it: a sudden swirl of white, Hashi's hair whipping upward while harsh torrents of chakra spiraled out from her. Her skin peeled, then cracked, and Kakashi could see fresh, living skin just beneath the surface. The chakra contracted, then shot out like a shockwave, hurtling toward everything around them. Minato got caught up in the blast; Tobirama looked shocked; Lord Third cried out, and all around him the bodies of the newly dead rose and started breathing.

"Dad!" Naruto said, and Minato's eyes widened. His skin also peeled and cracked, the orange chakra dissipating and fading into the white light around him.

"Naruto," Minato said, and the black sclerae chipped away, revealing blue irises and white eyes, his arms regrowing like limbs of a tree branch, the power of the Mokuton approximating that of the Rinnegan.

Another swirl of power, and Naruto looked down. The dust of his shoes got caught in the whirl of light, and Kakashi's eyes widened as the dust flew up and reconstituted. There was a dark silhouette, and then the solid shape of a man.

And then the light winked out, and Obito staggered onto his knees, coughing in the darkness.

"Obito!" Kakashi broke into a sprint. Obito lurched upward but Kakashi caught him, easing him back down on the ground.

*****

At the smoky edge of the battlefield, the five kage surrounded Hashirama and Madara, weighing their options.

"He's alive," Tsunade said. She knelt toward Madara's body, gingerly feeling his neck for a pulse. Her eyes slid upward. "What should we do now?"

"We imprison him," Gaara said. "Make him kneel before judge and jury and mete out proper justice."

"This is Uchiha Madara we're talking about. No prison can hold him," Terumi Mei said. The Raikage nodded grimly.

"We need to kill him," he said. The other kage looked uneasily at each other. Behind them, Hashi pushed upward.

"Let me have him," Hashi said. "I am stronger than him. I will take responsibility for him."

The Raikage pulled out his sword from his back. "This isn't your decision," the Raikage said. The other kage watched as he held the sword above Madara's chest, but Hashi grabbed the blade with her hand.

"If you wish to kill him," Hashi said, and her voice dropped, the shadow from her hair covering her eyes, "you will have to go through me."

And they could feel it; chakra twining around her, coiling and uncoiling, a power so immense it seemed to flatten everything.

"Shit," the Raikage said, and he sheathed his sword.

*****

Obito was shaky. Gai draped a blanket over Obito's shoulders while Kakashi held a canteen of water to his lips. Obito coughed, then drank greedily.

Footsteps crunched on the dry, dead grass, and Kakashi looked up to see the five kage coming toward him.

"Uchiha Obito," Terumi Mei said, and Obito lifted his eyes to look at her. She pulled out her sword and held it against his neck. Obito lowered his eyes again.

"Mizukage-sama, a moment," Kakashi said, standing. "The other kages agreed to bring Madara to justice, why can't we do the same for him?"

"Hashirama is protecting him," the Mizukage said. "She alone is more powerful than a whole platoon of nin. The same cannot be said of him."

"Please," Kakashi said. "The only reason why we're standing here is because he sacrificed himself. He saved Naruto's life - he protected us."

"What idiocy is this?" Onoki said. He floated over toward them, scowling. He pointed. "I say we kill him."

"As do I," the Mizukage said, and she held the blade again.

Kakashi threw a glance toward Minato, who was watching, stricken. Kakashi pushed forward. "Sensei and I will watch him," Kakashi said.

Tsunade started, "Kakashi!" but Kakashi held up his hand.

"We will watch him," Kakashi repeated. He glanced down at Obito. "Letting him die would be too easy for him."

Obito lowered his eyes. The kages glanced at each other.

"Yondaime-sama," the Raikage said to Minato. "What do you think?"

Minato hesitated. "Kakashi and I will watch him. We will guard him until his trial and we'll be there should they order an execution."

"Tsunade?" the Mizukage turned.

"Konoha will take responsibility for him," Tsunade said.

*****

They shackled him in chains even though no chains could bind him.

The cell Obito was locked up in was underground, fortified by several barriers and guarded by a small army of ANBU nin. Slowly, Kakashi walked down the spiral steps, the black swath of his shadow cutting against the light from the torches bouncing on stone walls. The staircase descended, and Kakashi nodded to the ANBU guards outside the entrance.

"Back again?" the guard said, and Kakashi nodded. Silently the guard unholstered his keys.

The door groaned, then opened, the heavy metal plating scraping against the concrete, and Kakashi stepped inside, the door clanging heavily behind him. Somewhere, a pipe was dripping. He could hear the slight rustle of someone moving in chains.

"Yo," Kakashi said, and he could just barely make out Obito's figure hunched behind the metal bars. Kakashi held up a plastic bag, showing him. "I brought a goody bag."

Obito's eyes were lowered. Kakashi stepped forward.

"I heard from Sensei they were talking about gouging out your eyes," Kakashi said. He squatted in front of him and started digging through the bag. "I don't know how he talked them out of it. Probably because if you wanted to escape, you already would have."

Kakashi held up a candy bar, showing him. "It's made of the same ingredients as soldier pills," Kakashi said. "You'll heal faster if you eat it." He tried not to look at the bandages up along his arms, or the angry red ligature marks marring the skin of his neck.

"Kakashi."

"Hm?"

"Why are they keeping me here?" Obito's eyes lifted upward. "Why are they keeping me alive?"

"If you don't like it, why don't you leave here?"

"Synaptic dampener," Obito said. He tapped the side of his temple. "It makes it so you can't weave chakra. They take away your powers here."

"Is that why you're not healing?" they both looked at the blood seeping through the bandages. Obito shrugged.

"It seems a Hyuuga is watching me. Whenever I try to off myself they stop me."

Kakashi's jaw tightened. "Sensei is talking to the council," Kakashi said. "They'll listen to him. It'll only be a few more days that you'll stay here."

"You should tell them to execute me," Obito said. Kakashi stared at him.

"And what would Rin say?" Kakashi said. He spread his hands. "You told me yourself. You saw her; she's still watching."

"It's just wishful thinking," Obito said, softly. "I need to pay for what I did. They should execute me," Obito said, and the rims of his eyes darkened. "I killed too many people. I don't deserve to live."

"Eat this," Kakashi said, and he tossed the candy bar into the cell. "There's also some porn and an ero novel in there."

Obito's mouth quirked. "You got me porn?"

"Well what else are you going to do in here?"

"If I didn't know you, I'd think you were mocking me." Obito looked up quietly. "Thank you for coming to see me."

Kakashi looked. In the filthy light, Kakashi could see the smudges of dried blood and dirt on Obito's face, the white hair matted against his forehead. His clothes were tattered, threadbare, and he could see the ugly scars rising out from the right side of his skin.

*****

A few days passed. Kakashi followed the ANBU guards down the flight of steps toward Obito's cell. The metal door opened, and Obito blinked as a square of watery light poured in.

"Obito," Kakashi said, and he was backlit by impossible daylight. "Sensei and I are here. They're letting you go."

"What?" Obito said, but a guard stepped in-between them. 

"C'mon," the guard said gruffly. Obito threw a glance at Kakashi as the guard led him out.

He followed Obito as they led him down the corridor; his hands were shackled in front of him, but another ANBU guard stepped forward and unlocked the handcuffs. They walked up the stairs where Minato and Tsunade were waiting for them.

"Obito-kun," Minato said, smiling. Obito glanced behind at Kakashi, who nodded and gave Obito a little shrug.

"They're releasing you to our care," Kakashi said, stepping out from behind him. He joined Sensei, standing in front of him. "Sensei and Naruto convinced the council that Kaguya was the ultimate villain. You were an unwitting accomplice."

"And so they're just going to ignore those murders and the fact that I started the Fourth Shinobi War?"

Minato smiled, his eyes turning into twin creases: "Naruto can be very persuasive."

"I see."

Kakashi glanced at Minato, worried. "We found you an apartment," Kakashi said. "It's not the greatest, but it's close to the orphan dormitories, so you'll be close to where Naruto and Sensei live."

"You'll have to check in with us daily," Minato said. "Eventually the three of us will be going on missions."

"Missions?" Obito raised his eyes.

"If we are keeping you, we might as well use you," Tsunade said. "Minato and Kakashi both gave me their assurances you won't try to escape or take for granted your freedom."

"I won't," Obito said. He turned to Tsunade. "Thank you."

Tsunade huffed. "Don't thank me," Tsunade said. "Naruto wouldn't stop bothering me," and for the first time in a long time, Kakashi saw Obito smile.

*****

They stepped outside, Obito unused to the brightness, squinting and raising a hand to shade his eyes. Kakashi waited as Obito hesitantly walked down the concrete steps, then followed as Minato led them both to Obito's new apartment.

"Sensei," Kakashi said. He craned his neck, looking up the metal steps toward Obito's new apartment. "This is kind of a shithole, isn't it?"  
  
"Well it's what was available," Minato said, stepping past him. Minato walked up the metal steps while Kakashi sighed and shook his head.  
  
"Obito. My apologies," Kakashi said. He gestured. "I knew of the complex, but I didn't visit it myself."  
  
"It's fine." Obito was quiet. Around them, the sky was overcast, the dull gray clouds almost the same color as the drab building they were standing in front of. Slowly the three men ascended the metal steps, then stood at the landing while Minato unlocked the door with a rusty key.  
  
"It isn't much, but Kakashi and I got you a futon, and, ah, a water boiler," Minato said, and Kakashi waved his hand at the dust, the apartment smelling musty from disuse. "The apartment came with a fridge, fortunately, so at least there's that."  
  
"Thank you, Sensei," Obito said. Minato waved his hand.  
  
"Obito. Do you have any other belongings? Anything we can bring here?" Kakashi said. Obito shook his head.  
  
"The things I have I keep in my dimension," Obito said. He lowered his eyes, then nodded at them. "Thank you. This is more than I deserve."

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "It was no problem," and he tried to ignore the sad, haunted look in Obito's eyes.

*****

It didn't take long before Tsunade started assigning them missions, and Obito proved more than suitable for the task. Battle tactics and brute force were among his many talents, and Kakashi watched, awestruck, as Obito singlehandedly accomplished his mission objectives.

"We meet again at dusk tomorrow," Minato said. He hitched his pack. "There's an envoy we're meeting at the outskirts of the Fire Country. Apparently it's ANBU with new intelligence."

"Tsunade is trusting us with that?" Kakashi said, and then he looked quickly over to Obito. "Sorry," Kakashi said, but Obito shook his head.

"I was wondering the same thing," Obito said.

The sky grew dark. Kakashi trudged heavily through the forest, following Minato and Obito as they walked down the dirt path. Their feet crunched on the dry grass as they walked, and Kakashi almost asked Obito to use his kamui to teleport them back home, but then thought the better of it: his eyes were already bloodshot, as if ready to start weeping blood.

"The council is starting to trust you," Kakashi said, while Minato left them to set up camp. He put another weapon away in his pack. "That's good. Pretty soon you won't have to be chaperoned on missions."

Obito was silent. Quietly he picked up a kunai and turned it over in his hands.  
  
Kakashi glanced back at him. "Obito?" He watched as Obito absently tapped the dull edge of the blade across the pulse point of his wrist. "Obito. What are you doing?"  
  
Obito blinked, as if catching himself. "Nothing," Obito said. Kakashi's eyes narrowed.  
  
The next night, he marched over to Obito's sad little apartment, hefting a duffel bag over his shoulder and banging loudly against the front door.  
  
"Kakashi?" Obito peered through the door.  
  
Kakashi pushed inside, shoving the duffel bag against Obito's chest. "I'm coming in."  
  
"I can see that. What are you doing?"  
  
Kakashi flipped on the lights. "I'm making sure you don't kill yourself."  
  
Obito scoffed. "And what makes you think I'd do something like that?"  
  
"Because you're acting the same way as my dad," Kakashi said. He glanced around the spartan apartment, which was completely bare except for a small used table and a futon tossed carelessly in the corner. "You don't even have curtains," Kakashi said, frowning. "What do you do for privacy?"  
  
"I go to my dimension."  
  
"Do you sleep there?"  
  
Obito sighed loudly. "I don't have a spare futon," Obito said. "If you're staying the night, you sleep on the floor."  
  
"Good to know you're so hospitable."  
  
"You're the one who wants to stay here."  
  
Kakashi hummed. He unzipped his duffel bag and started laying out his stack of ero books, pushing them against the wall.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  


They were on another mission again, Minato crouching and consulting a map while Kakashi had unscrewed his canteen of water. Behind them, Obito had stopped and furtively crouched near a fallen log at the edge of the trail, and as Kakashi stepped closer he could see it: a purple wildflower, hidden in the tall grass. Obito had carefully dug it up, preserving the roots, before swirling it away in his dimension.

"Is that another offering for Rin?" Kakashi asked. Obito looked up.

"Yeah," Obito said. He rearranged his pack, not looking at him.

"You know, I used to leave flowers for both you and her," Kakashi said. He looked up at treetops, chuckling. "Little did I know, your stupid ass was still alive."

Obito let out a soft sound like a laugh. He plucked another wildflower, this time breaking it at the bottom of the stem, then wrapped it in a handkerchief, carefully placing it in his pack. "I know it's silly," Obito said. "But sometimes, when I'm leaving these offerings and talking to her at the shrine, sometimes it feels like she's standing with me." His face darkened. "I sometimes wonder if she saw me like this, if she'd be afraid of me."

"Probably," Kakashi said. He squatted beside him. "But then she'd see you're the same stupid crybaby elite you always were, and she'd know there's no reason to be afraid of you."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I mean, honestly, all you did was swap out those goggles for that mask."

"Tch."

*****

Time passed. Obito became more and more integrated with the rest of the village, and Kakashi watched with a touch of pride as his old friend was sworn in as the new Hokage.

There was an old woman with a walker, hefting a bag of groceries trying to cross the street. Obito saw her before Kakashi did; he jogged over, offering his arm and chatting with the old woman kindly.

"Oi, baka, we're going to be late for the meeting," Kakashi said, but Obito was smiling.

"It'll be fine," Obito said, offering the old woman his arm. "Tsunade is there, we can be a few minutes late."

Kakashi huffed.

The old woman needed help carrying her groceries up to her apartment, so Obito obliged, carrying a grocery bag in each arm as Kakashi placed a steadying hand on the old woman's back as she walked, her back hunched with age and osteoporosis. They chatted about Kakashi's new boyfriend and how usually he's hopelessly single, when the old woman turned toward Obito.

"What about you, young man?" the old woman said. "Are you 'hopelessly single'? Or are you seeing someone too?"

The old woman's eyes twinkled. Obito laughed.

"No, I don't have as much luck as Kakashi does," Obito said.

"You know, I have a granddaughter about your age," the old woman said, smiling. "Perhaps I could introduce you?"

"Oh, no ma'am, but thank you, I'm flattered," Obito said. The old woman started digging in her purse.

"I insist," the old woman said.

"Ma'am."

"This is her number," the old woman said. She took Obito's hand and folded the paper into his palm. "I'll be expecting you to call her. Oh! Actually, why don't I just call her right now?"

Obito started, "Ma'am, we're actually late for a meeting, so--"

"Oh it'll only be a minute! I'll tell her to expect you."

Kakashi's eyes widened. Obito looked stricken.

"Ma'am," Kakashi started, "Actually--"

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I should have been more clear. I am seeing someone, we're just not yet that serious," Obito said. The old woman looked up, interested.

"Oh?"

"She's a medic nin," Obito said. He swallowed, then gave a sickly smile. "Her name is Rin."

The old woman clapped her hands. "How wonderful!" the woman said, and Kakashi watched, horrified, as Obito forced an awkward smile. 

"Are you okay?" Kakashi asked, after the old woman left. Obito shook his head.

"No," Obito said. He took a shuddery breath. "I'm a fucking idiot."

Kakashi shook his head. "Obito--"

"It's fine. It shut her up. It's fine." Obito waved his hand.

At the meeting, Obito conducted himself as he normally would - with a quiet authority, looming and intimidating. Kakashi found it interesting how Obito's body language would change, how he'd go from his dorky awkward friend to someone powerful and consequential.

"You've been very helpful with the transition," Tsunade said. She clapped Kakashi on the shoulder. "I was afraid the idiot would kill himself and you'd have to take over. But it seems things are going a lot smoother."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama. I'm always happy to help," Kakashi said. Tsunade grinned at him and raised her flask.

There were papers Shizune had prepared for them left on the desk, and Kakashi picked up the stack, intending to leave a copy for Obito. It was dark in the Hokage compound and most people had already gone home, and Kakashi was fully expecting that Obito had already left.

He opened the door to Obito's office and started to speak when he saw it: Obito hunched in the dark over his desk, his fists against his eyes. He was gritting his teeth, and beneath the closed fist, a tear slipped down his cheek.

Kakashi said nothing, and quietly closed the door.

*****

"That Kiyotsugu guy is nice!" Rin says to Kakashi, the day after their meeting. Kakashi hums in appreciation while Obito pushes the stroller, shaking his head.

"Rin, you should've seen him - he made me pretend I was his boyfriend," Obito says. Rin laughs.

"No! Really?"

"He did. You remember that Ichigo asshole we were talking about? He's the guy we ran into."

"Oof," Rin says. They turn toward the civilian quarter when they see the old lady walking down the street. The old woman sees them and brightens.

"Young man!" the old woman says. She walks up toward them.

"Oh," Obito says, smiling. "Obaa-san."

"So this is the young lady you're seeing," the old woman says. "It looks like it's gotten pretty serious." She winks at Rin. Rin laughs.

"It is," Rin says, smiling. The old woman bends down toward the stroller.

"And you two have a baby! How precious! May I see him?"

"Of course." Obito picks up the baby, who coos and holds his little hands up toward the old woman.

Kakashi watches. The old woman is cooing over the baby, Rin standing next to her and showing her how the baby likes to be held, and he shifts his gaze toward Obito, who has stepped back and is watching them, smiling. He looks happy. Kakashi sighs and shakes his head.

"I'm leaving," Kakashi says. He claps Obito on the shoulder. "Obaasan, it was good to see you."

"You too, young man," the old woman says.

And Kakashi strolls back, walking home to Kiyotsugu.


	69. Mission

"So Rin is on a mission?" Kakashi says.

Kakashi and Obito are on their stomachs, watching the baby scoot around. He can't quite crawl yet - he moves by scooting his body like an inch worm, his little arms dragging him forward as if he were army-crawling. ("Look at him crawl!" Obito said proudly. Kakashi didn't have the heart to tell him the baby's stomach was still on the ground, that really couldn't be considered crawling.)

"Yeah," Obito says. The baby scoots toward Obito, who beams and picks the baby up by the armpits, sitting up and putting him on his lap. "There's an outpost over at the northernmost border who needed experienced medic nin. I recommended her."

"You're not worried about taking care of the baby by yourself?"

"Rin does it," Obito says. The baby gurgles and paws at Obito's face. Obito pulls back, smiling at the baby. "I'm his dad. It'll be okay."

"Huh," Kakashi says. He watches as Obito switches the baby's position, moving him from his lap onto his shoulder, then patting him on the back. The baby babbles, then rests his cheek on Obito's shoulder, looking perfectly content. "Well I suppose if Madara can do it, you can too. But what are you gonna do in an emergency? Like what if we're attacked?"

"Then I put him in my dimension."

"Well what if you're killed, the baby will be trapped," Kakashi says, and he realizes, _oh shit, I shouldn't have said that._ He sees Obito's eyes widen. His grip on the baby tightens.

"I didn't think about that," Obito says.

"Obito--"

The baby gurgles happily, then paws at Obito's face again, giggling. Obito rests his hand on the back of the baby's head, worried.

"Nothing will probably happen," Kakashi says. "I mean, your dimension is a pocket dimension, after you die it'll probably just stop existing--"

Even worse to say to him, because now Obito's gone from looking worried to just on the edge of panic. "--that is to say, he'll probably just reappear somewhere, at approximately where you left him."

"Do you know what Sensei did, when I attacked him?" Obito sets the baby on his lap. "He teleported to his home and put the baby in his crib."

Kakashi gestures, at a loss. "The safest place he could put him," Kakashi says. The baby squirms and Obito picks him up again.

"I threw his newborn baby up in the air, then tried to kill him with an explosion." The baby whines, and Obito hushes him, bouncing him slightly. "If anyone did that to my baby I would kill them."

Kakashi rubs his head. "Well it's a good thing that's not the case with Sensei," Kakashi says.

Obito sighs. "That only makes me a hypocrite." The baby whines again and Obito stands, bouncing him and shushing him.

"He's cute," Kakashi says. Better to change the subject. "He doesn't look anything like you. I mean, other than the hair," Kakashi says, and they both look at the baby's dark curls, which fall in choppy spikes along his forehead. "All you Uchihas have that crazy hair."

"He looks like his mom," Obito says smiling, and Kakashi can see him start to relax. "He has Rin's eyes, I think. They also have the same smile."

"Look at you, Obito. Who'd have thought you'd have a kid with Rin? I remember how you used to moon over her at the training grounds. You were really annoying. No one thought you'd have a chance."

"I know," Obito says. He smiles at the baby. "I've been really lucky."

The word sticks out. _Lucky_ is hardly the word Kakashi would describe Obito, who suffered more hardship and trauma than anyone he's ever known. Obito would remind him it's not a competition - Kakashi has his own demons to deal with - so Kakashi just nods and doesn't say anything. Obito for his part looks content.

That evening, Rin calls and Obito props the phone up so Rin can look at the baby. The baby gurgles and paws at the screen, the room growing dark except for the dim light in front of them. The baby laughs excitedly, flapping his arms at his mommy while his little face is illuminated by the light of the screen.


	70. Watch (tw: suicide attempt, hanging)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suicidal ideation, graphic description of hanging

"You know the worst thing about being a ghost?" Rin asks. Obito shakes his head. "It's not being able to do anything," Rin says. Her eyes flick upward.

_"No! Obito! No!" Rin screamed as he kicked off the stool, the noose around his neck tightening. He struggled. She tried to grab onto his arms but she slipped right through him. "No!" Rin screamed again, falling onto her knees. "No, please!" Obito's hands flew to his neck, the blood rushing to his face as he gripped the rope helplessly._

_And then he dropped, phasing through the rope and slamming heavily against the floor._

"I saw you try to kill yourself," Rin says. "I was screaming at you to stop, but you couldn't hear me. I don't know what made you change your mind, but I was so grateful when you used your kamui."

Obito is quiet for a long moment. And then, "You saw that?"

Rin's eyes meet his. "I saw everything."

Obito takes a breath. He cups the back of her head as she drops her forehead against his.


	71. Hugs (mature)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex mention

Rin loves hugging Obito. When she hugs him, he feels firm and warm and solid, his body folding over hers. He'll rest the side of his face against the crook of her neck and he'll wrap her up in his arms. His hugs are tight hugs, crushed up against the space of his chest and his palm flat against the back of her head. 

Kissing him is nice. She likes dragging her lips along the scars of his face and neck, pressing softly against the sensitive skin where the grafted tissue ends and his own skin begins. He has full, soft lips which curve upwards at the corners when she kisses him; when she touches his cheek he'll lean forward so that they're touching foreheads. Sometimes, when she's nursing the baby, he'll step beside her and drop a kiss on the top of her head.

When they have sex, it's slow and warm and comfortable, more like hugging while sharing orgasms, all soft kisses pressed lightly against close faces and smiling lips, and fingertips brushing lightly over bare skin. The frenzy of sex, the early angst and desperation behind it, turns into something more loving and intimate. 

She lays on her side in the bed, staring out into the darkness. Behind her, Obito is pressed comfortably against her back, his body cupped against hers and his knees fitting gently against the back of her legs. He squeezes his arms and she feels one of his legs drape over her hip, and she smiles as he cuddles her tightly, sighing contentedly just before falling asleep. 

Rin smiles. She traces the groove of his arms, the muscles and tendons leading up to his wrist. His body feels comfortable and warm, and she settles against him, nuzzling her face against the loose curl of his hand, and feels content.


	72. Promotion

"I'd like to recommend you for promotion to Tokubetsu Jounin," her commander says. Rin looks up, surprised.

"Really?" Rin says. The commander nods, crossing his arms. 

"The Third Shinobi War was a crucible. The finest medic nin were forged in that war."

Tokubetsu Jounin. She would be eligible for A-class missions, possibly working with the nin of ANBU. "There are not many female jounin," the commander continues. "Most of them turn down these assignments. They have families, they can't go on missions. If you take this, you'll be on your way to honing the rest of your skills and earning the rank of jounin."

"Oh." Rin tents her fingers. "I have an infant son at home, and his father can't take care of him."

"Who is his father?" the commander says. Rin hesitates.

"Uchiha Obito."

"The Sixth Hokage?"

Rin nods. The commander furrows his brow.

"I was not aware he had a family," the commander says. "That is certainly something to think about."

*****

"Obito," Rin says. "I've been offered a promotion to Tokubetsu Jounin."

"Really?" Obito's face brightens. "That's great! Congratulations!"

He goes to hug her but Rin frowns at him. "I don't think I'm going to take it."

Obito's smile slips a notch. "Why?" he says. Rin spreads her hands helplessly.

"One of us needs to take care of the baby."

Obito's brow furrows. Rin takes in a breath, lowering her head.

"You're the Hokage," Rin says. "It's my job to support you. A few missions here and there, sure, but if I'm a jounin it won't be feasible."

"Is that what you want?" Obito asks, carefully. Rin hesitates. She presses the tips of her fingers together. "It isn't, is it?"

"Obito--"

"If we weren't together and we didn't have a baby, would you take it?"

"Of course I would, but only because I wouldn't have any other responsibilities. I have to think about you and the baby." 

"That's not fair to you," Obito says. He puts his hands on her shoulders, looking at her. "The baby has two parents. Just because I'm Hokage doesn't mean you have to give up your dreams."

"You know what's funny? I never really had any dreams." Rin glances up at him and smiles hesitantly. "I never thought beyond the war. Growing up, having a family. The closest thing I had was my crush on Kakashi."

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, then looks up at him, her eyes flicking upward. "Being recognized is nice," Rin says. "But I can take it or leave it, becoming a jounin."

Obito lowers his eyes. "You're lying," Obito says quietly. Rin opens her mouth to protest but Obito interrupts her, "It's okay. I understand why you're not being honest. You're trying to do the best for our family and you don't want me to worry." He touches the side of her cheek, fanning the skin with his thumb gently. "I'm just telling you, you shouldn't feel as if you have to. It wouldn't be fair to you."

Rin nods. They sit down next to each other, not saying anything.

"You know, both my parents were killed during different missions," Obito says. "I never had a family. I think that was why I was so desperate to fit in."

"All the more reason I should turn down that promotion," Rin says. Obito shakes his head.

"A chuunin can get killed. So can a genin. It's the risk we all take as nin."

"Then what should we do?" Rin asks. Obito smiles at her.

"Whatever you want," Obito says. "I'll support you whatever you decide, but it needs to be your decision."

Rin looks down at her hands, which are folded in her lap. Unlike most shinobi, her hands are soft and free from callouses. 

"I need to think about it," Rin says.


	73. Moon's Eye

"Please, our son died in the war. If you could only--"

"No, she cannot!" Madara says, and he slams the door in the old woman's face.

Hashi frowns at him. "That wasn't very nice," Hashi says.

The requests to bring back the dead had died down, but the anniversary of the end of the war and Naruto's birthday brings everything back to a head, and once again the village morons are knocking on Hashi's door, begging for more miracles.

"We need to genjutsu them," Madara says. Obito sits at his desk while Madara paces, agitated. Madara points, angrily. "While you sit here cordoned off from the rest of the village, I and Hashirama are fending off all the idiots who want their relatives resurrected."

Obito sighs. "I told you there's nothing I can do about that," Obito says. "To enact a genjutsu of that scale--"

"--would mean we hijack the moon and cast it upon the village populace, yes I am aware of the optics."

"Well then you know my answer," Obito says.

Annoying. So annoying. What good is it to have installed a puppet into Konoha's highest office if said puppet refuses to do what Madara tells him?

"Don't worry, Nii-san!" Izuna says, when Madara complains to him. Izuna pumps his fist. "My eyes were stronger than yours at one time, and it was my eyes that awakened the Rinnegan! It shouldn't be a problem for us if we cast that jutsu!"

It doesn't work. Izuna's eyes were cloned from stem cells and so only has a fraction of the power his native Sharingan would have.

Madara grits his teeth. There's only one thing he can do.

*****

Uchiha Itachi is meditating by a waterfall. Madara swings his battlefan, irritated at the tree branches growing into the path. "Uchiha Itachi," Madara says, and he points his battlefan at him. "I have need of assistance."

Itachi's eyes open, dark sclerae and cracks in his skin. "Madara," Itachi says. His voice is as calm and placid as the still waters of a crystal blue pond, which makes Madara all the more irritated.

"It seems I am at your mercy," Madara says, irritated. "But you have an undead body with access to unlimited chakra. It vexes me that I have to ask."

Itachi tilts his head curiously, like an owl or a cat. "What is it you have to ask?"

"My idiot wife keeps getting accosted by village morons asking for their dead to be resurrected." Madara crosses his arms. "Only a genjutsu reflected by the moon could erase their memories of the incident."

"And so you are asking me to cast a genjutsu the likes of which would be reflected by the moon?"

"The fact that you have to ask that tells me you are incompetent and I should not have bothered asking you."

Itachi settles back in a meditative position again.

"Damn you, woman!" Madara snaps at Hashi later. Hashi looks at him confused but Madara stalks around the courtyard. "I had to prostrate myself in front of that undead weasel, and despite my humiliation, I was refused!"

"Don't worry, don't worry, I won't try bringing up anyone else from the dead," Hashi says. She puts her hands on her hips, grinning.

"Tobirama's working on some experiments anyway, and--"

Madara walks back into the house and slams the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Itachi" means weasel in Japanese :)


	74. Moon's Eye, part 2

"How dare you. The only reason why you sit upon that chair is because I put you there."

Obito leans back and crosses his arms as Madara continues. "Hashirama is the reason why you are alive. The reason why your precious Rin is with you. You got forgiveness from that Uzumaki woman and now you act as if this is all beneath you. _I made you._ You were just an incompetent fool when I found you, but I was the one who molded you. Shaped you into my image. You will acknowledge me as your creator and do what I tell you."

Obito sighs and rubs his head. "I will help you talk to Hashi-san to keep her from performing that jutsu, but I won't genjutsu the rest of the village. I'm sorry, I can't help you."

Madara makes a frustrated noise. He walks around in a quick circle, then slams his fist into the wall. Obito raises an eyebrow.

Madara points at him. "Be thankful I've deigned not to kill you."

"Noted."

Madara makes another angry noise and leaps out the window.

*****

"Yo," Kakashi says. He tosses a series of black and white photos on Obito's desk. "There have been sightings of zombies wandering around the forest. Apparently Senju Tobirama has been working with Orochimaru."

"You're kidding."

"I wish I were. Except instead of former soldiers they're raising members of the Akatsuki and missing nin."

The doors burst open.

"Hokage-sama!" an ANBU nin rushes in. Kakashi and Obito turn. "There's more undead shinobi outside the village!"

Obito holds his head and groans.


	75. Assassination

The assassination attempt comes out from nowhere.

It happens at the base of the Sanro mountains, right at the borderlands of the Land of Iron. There's sleet and wind as they trudge through the snowdrifts, while above them, the hunter nin crouches in the snow, masked and watching. From the hunter nin's perch, the small Konoha envoy appears as black dots crossing below the cliffs. The path narrows; steep walls of rock and ice create a darkened corridor around them. The hunter nin motions to his comrades and take position.

"Why are we here again?" Kakashi says. He pulls up his cloak as Obito trudges forward.

"The Taishou of the Land of Iron is inviting us to the Continental Summit. He's one of the few leaders who have incorporated civilian teachings in their education system."

"So we're observing, seeing how they incorporate civilian subjects alongside samurai training?"

"Correct." Obito pulls his cloak tightly around him.

They set up camp. Obito is just slightly away from the others, pitching a tent and tying the rope down to the stake. He bends over, expertly knotting the rope, while the hunter nin slowly takes aim.

Obito jerks his head up, Mangekyou spinning as the senbon cut through the air and phase through him.

"Shit." The hunter nin move. Obito sees them, three dark shapes leaping into the shadows....

And he sees a raft of exploding tags hurtling toward them.

An explosion. The Konoha envoy scatters and screams, an avalanche of snow and rocks falling toward them.

The hunter nin return to their perch. From their vantage point, it looks as if the whole crevasse is covered in snow.

Something howls, and the snow explodes, the body of Obito's Susanoo bursting outwards, its wings outstretched while the Konoha envoy slowly look up, hands over their heads and necks, thinking they were about to be buried alive. The Susanoo grabs its chakra sword and swings it, the hunter nin ducking and screaming.

"Obito!" Kakashi whirls around and sees Obito standing at the center.

The Susanoo screams again, violently shaking the ground.

The threat passes. Obito closes his eyes and the Susanoo dissipates, the light blue chakra slowly flaming out around him.

Kakashi takes a breath. "I didn't know you could do Susanoo," Kakashi says. Obito snorts.

"You used it when you borrowed my eyes. You should've known."


	76. Assassination, part 2

"Obito!" Kakashi runs toward him while Obito falls onto his knees, coughing violently. He sees flecks of blood as Obito coughs, a trickle of blood dripping down his mouth.

"Poison," Ibiki says. He looks around. "Someone poisoned the Hokage."

"Shit." Kakashi hefts Obito over his shoulder and pulls him into the tent.

Obito's eyes roll back, frothing at the mouth. 

"Obito!" Kakashi quickly motions for the medic nin to come toward them. "He's been poisoned, help him!"

They tear open Obito's flak jacket, yanking up his shirt and shoving chakra into his torso.

*****

Rin is giving the baby a bath when she hears her cellphone.

"C'mon, baby," Rin says, and she pulls the baby up, wrapping him in a towel and carrying him to the kitchen. "I think that's probably Daddy." The phone keeps ringing, and as she gets closer she sees it's not Obito; it's Kakashi.

" _Rin._ " He doesn't even wait for her to greet him. " _Obito's been poisoned._ "

And everything around her stops.

****

"Sensei!" Rin pounds on the door, screaming. "Sensei! Please! Sensei!"

"Rin?" Minato opens the door and sees Rin sobbing hysterically. "What's the matter, Rin?"

"Rin-chan?" The light switches on as Kushina and Naruto step behind him.

"Sensei," Rin says. "You marked Obito, right? Can you teleport to him?"

"Yes, of course I can - what happened?"

"He's dying," Rin sobs. "Kakashi said he's poisoned."

Minato glances at Kushina, who nods silently at him. "Let me have the baby," Minato says. 

Rin takes a shuddery breath, then hands the baby to him. Minato bounces the baby a bit, then hands him to Naruto.

"Yooosh. We're gonna take care of you, dattebayo," Naruto says, cradling him.

"Okay, Rin-chan." Minato pulls on his flak jacket. "You'll have to hold onto my shoulder when we go."

Unlike the Kamui, the Flying Raijin is like shooting in a straight line. They're standing in Minato's livingroom, and it's as if their surroundings blur, like they're still standing while everything else is moving, and all at once they land in front of Obito and Kakashi, kneeling in the snow drifts.

"Rin?" Kakashi rises. He looks at Minato. "Sensei?"

Minato's mouth thins. 

****

"Hunter nin attacked the camp. We rebuffed them, but we think they contaminated our rations while we were distracted."

Rin heads to the field hospital, pushing back the flap of the tent. He's lying unconscious on the bed, medic nin plying chakra, surrounding him.

Rin works. She knows almost as much as Tsunade and has just as fine control, and soon enough her chakra is circulating through his body, filtering the poisoned blood and augmenting the bloodflow. 

The sun rises, cold white rays slowly spreading over snow drifts and casting a thin light over the hospital bed. Rin has been working the entire night; there are dark circles under her eyes, but her chakra never wavers.

Beneath her palm, Obito's chest heaves. Obito coughs, squinting and opening his eyes. 

"Obito." Rin lets out a sob, relieved. Obito turns painfully.

"Rin?"

But Rin's eyes roll into the back of her head. Her chakra flickers before she passes out.


	77. Assassination, part 3

It's a splinter group of Root that's behind the attempted assassinations.

"We are patriots!" they yell, as ANBU guards shove them forward. "We do this for love of our village!" The evidence is overwhelming and the council votes for execution.

Obito lets the council deal with it. Quietly, he visits Rin in the hospital, sitting by her bed and gently combing through her hair.

"How is she?" Kakashi says. Obito looks up at him with swollen eyes. Kakashi pulls up a chair next to him.

"She almost killed herself, emptying all her chakra to heal me." He hangs his head, a shadow falling over his eyes. "She almost died, Kakashi."

"It's not the first time," Kakashi says. They watch Rin breathing beneath the blankets. "Rin's beaten the odds lots of times."

Obito grits his teeth and presses a fist to his eyes.

*****

He's asleep by the bed when he feels something touching his hand.

"Obito?"

Obito looks up.

Rin smiles weakly at him, her small fingers curling over his hand.


	78. Recuperate

"You and Rin are still recovering! Don't even worry about it!" Kushina says. Obito clasps his hands.

"Thank you, Kushina-san. Rin and I," his voice grows rough. He swallows, the rims of his eyes growing dark, "Rin and I appreciate it."

Kushina waves her hand. "Don't worry about it, dattebane!"

Minato and Kushina wave as Obito limps away from them.

"Hey," Rin says, softly. She's lying in bed, her face pale and dark circles under her eyes. Obito sits next to her and presses his palm to her forehead. Her skin is cool and damp beneath his hand, and he gives her a wane smile.

"You look like you did after the C-section."

"Heh." Rin's eyes close, two small crescents. "I lost a lot of blood then."

"You drained out all your chakra, it's practically the same thing." His thumb fans her skin quietly. "You would have died if not for Hashirama's cells making up your body."

"Same to you," Rin says. "You seem like you've recovered."

"I've always been blessed with rude health."

Rin smiles at that. Obito strokes her forehead, then takes her hand. 

"Where is the baby?" Rin asks. Obito shakes his head.

"Sensei has him. He and Kushina-san said we can take our time, they'll watch him for as long as we need them."

Rin nods weakly. "That's nice of them."

"I know." Obito squeezes her hand. "Did you know Kushina-san is pregnant?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Naruto-kun told me." Obito gives a half smile. "I tried to muster more excitement for them, but I was too worried."

"I hope Sensei and Kushina have a healthy baby," Rin says, and Obito's eyes darken again.

He buries his face against her chest, his body leaning over the mattress. Rin rests a weak hand around his back as the tears drip onto her sternum.

The dark is soothing. It is warm and comforting as he climbs into bed, and wordlessly Rin curls up against him and holds him.

For the first time in a long time, he gives in to his exhaustion, relaxing against her body and slowly drifting to sleep.


	79. Recuperate, part 2 (explicit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit sexual content, frottage, mild lactation during nipple stimulation, PIV sex.

He feels her lips gently brushing against his.

Obito opens his eyes to see Rin lying on her side, smiling quietly at him.

It's early morning but it's still dark, the shapes of things barely visible in the shadows, and quietly Obito smiles and touches Rin's face; she smiles and nestles against him.

Her lips brush against the tender spot just below his sternum, fingers drawing small circles on his flank, slipped warmly beneath his shirt.

Another kiss, this time pressed against the sensitive skin of his neck, moving slowly over the line of muscle leading to his clavicle. He sighs softly as she keeps exploring his neck, pressing small, soft kisses and carefully pressing her body against him.

"Rin," he sighs softly. "Are you okay to do this?"

He feels her grin against his neck. "Did you know, in a pinch, you can transfer chakra like this?"

"You mean kissing?" Obito says, softly. Rin smirks at him.

"No," her lips on his neck. "Body fluids."

Obito's eyes widen. Rin giggles at him.

"I'm the receptive partner, so you know. This will be healing."

"You're kidding," Obito watches her, awestruck, as Rin moves against him. "They teach you this in school?"

"Hashi-san told me."

He gasps softly as he feels her thumb ghost over the head of his erection.

Whatever trepidation he felt melts away as her lips gently press against his neck, her small hands gently tugging down the waist of his pants, sliding them down his hips and exposing him. He's hard and thick and he lets out a ragged gasp when she touches him, her thumb rubbing the slippery bead of liquid there, spreading it along the rounded head.

She pulls off her nightgown, tugging down her panties, then reaches between their bodies. Carefully she rocks her hips and rubs him against her body, the swollen head sliding up her slit and slipping back and forth against her nub.

She breathes raggedly against his mouth, then presses a soft kiss to his lips, his penis sliding up against her clit. She's so wet now she's glistening, her wetness coating the swollen shaft. He gasps and the head of his erection turns a deep red as he presses down and strokes upward, unbearably hard and leaking at the tip. She trembles and gasps, jerking softly, before dropping her head against his neck.

He rolls her onto her back and kisses her nipples, grinding against her nub while gently flicking his tongue over the hardened tips. It's been awhile since she's let him kiss her breasts, and even though she's weaned her nipples taste warm and sweet. "I'm leaking," Rin breathes. She jerks again, then laughs. "Oh crap, I'm leaking."

"Sorry," Obito says. He covers her with his body and carefully kisses her neck.

Rin gasps. Her body rises up from the bed, before she lets out a cry and bursts into orgasm. Harsh contractions pitch her forward, her body jerking helplessly beneath his. _One two three four five. Six. Seven._ She falls back then shoots up again. _Eight nine. Ten. Eleven._ And she takes a gulping breath, falling back limply on the bed.

He moves back, positions himself against her entrance, then slips inside her.

He should be gentle, but he loses himself, gasping and clutching her body. His hips slap mercilessly against hers, thrusting hard and fast and clinging to her. The pleasure builds, and he gasps, shoving into her, pulsing hard and shaking. He falls on top of her body, breathing heavily, and he feels her arms rest across his back.

"Rin?" his voice is breathy. She feels him still pulsing. "Rin, was that...are you okay, Rin?"

"Yeah," she says softly, and he smiles into her neck and throbs again, his heart beating fast against her chest. She feels the pulsing slow, and it's only then that he pushes himself up with shaky arms to look at her, but she stops him. "Can you just lie here a minute?"

"I can do that." Still inside her, he rests on top of her again, docile and content as Rin presses a soft kiss to his forehead.

The clock ticks. Quietly they clean themselves and arrange themselves back in bed, Rin cupping her body against his chest while he quietly holds her, not saying anything, just listening to the ticking of the clock and watching the dark sky gradually lighten.


	80. Recuperate, part 3 (explicit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cunnilingus, teasing, orgasm denial, PIV sex

"Oh, geez...."

Rin gasps and writhes naked on the bed, Obito's head between her legs, laving her softly. She's so close, but his eyes flick upward and he grins at her, before pressing a gentle kiss on her clit. Not enough pressure. Rin whines and squirms but she feels only the softest press of his tongue on her nub.

It's rare they get to do this. With the baby, sex is quick and furtive, just enough to get them both off before falling asleep. But now Minato and Kushina are watching the baby and they're not seeing them until late afternoon, so they take advantage. It's the sixth time they've done this today, rolling around the bed like they did when they first dated.

"Dammit," Rin laughs, and Obito grins at her, then presses a little kiss against her clit. He moves up her body and swipes the head of his erection against her nub, making her jerk and gasp. "Obito! Stop it, I want to come."

He laughs and presses a kiss behind her ear. "Would you totally kill me if I made you say please?"

"Oh my god, you ass." Rin laughs, smacking his back. "I saved your life," she tells him, and Obito grins against her neck. She feels him slide just on the outside of her, rubbing against her vulva and pressing against her clit. She manages to eke out just enough pressure, and she jerks once, twice, before gasping. "Ugh, okay, fine! Please?"

Obito stops. "Wait did you really just say please?"

"Shut up, I'm horny, go down on me."

He laughs against her mouth, then kisses her, before lowering himself between her legs again.

His tongue is warm and soft, her nub hardening as he suckles her gently. Rin squirms, close to coming and straining hard, rocking her pelvis upwards to get enough friction, enough pressure. His lips close around her hard little bud and she locks her legs around him, pleasure crowding with each soft stroke, pointing her toes and straining upward.

She gasps and her body snaps, her upper body taut and jerking in harsh contractions, the strength of her orgasm threatening to push him off the bed. She falls back onto the mattress, then pitches upright again, more contractions snapping like rubber bands. She falls back on the mattress, her body jerking with a few aftershocks, before Obito presses a little kiss on her thigh and moves upward.

Rin catches her breath, sweaty hair disheveled and beaming up at him. "Thanks."

He smiles and kisses her cheek. "You're welcome," he says, smiling. Rin giggles against his neck. He positions himself between her legs and pushes inside her.


	81. Cooking, part 2

"We need to learn how to cook," Rin says, because ever since the debacle with the frozen meat, neither of them tried again.

They're staring at the stack of empty take-out boxes piled on the table, a set of broken wooden chopsticks resting besides empty soy sauce packets and a half-eaten container of rice. The baby gnaws on a plastic lid, which Obito deftly replaces with a teething ring. "We're fine buying food from the mini-mart," Obito says.

"Yes but we're a family now. When he gets older, we can't feed him convenience store bentos, it's not economical."

They go to the grocery store, Obito holding the baby while Rin dutifully loads up her cart. She tosses a box of curry mix along with the packs of meat and vegetables.

*****

"It's burning!" Rin says. She runs around the kitchen to where Obito is supposed to be watching the curry on the stove, but the heat's too high and all the liquid burned off, leaving a thick black paste sticking to the bottom of the pot.

"Shit," Obito says, and he moves to grab the pot with his bare hands.

Rin starts, "It's metal, don't touch that--!" but Obito yelps and drops the pot.

Burned bits of curry splatters everywhere.

****

They're cleaning the floor, the baby watching them curiously as they scoop up bits of charred meat into the trash.

"Ne, Rin?"

"Yeah?"

Obito tosses another scoop of curry in the trash.

"You want me to get some bentos?" he asks.


	82. Cooking, part 3

"Get a pressure cooker," Kakashi says. He holds up a finger. "Just dump whatever meat and vegetables you want, throw in a block of curry and a few cups of water, and press the 'on' button. It's idiot proof. Even you could do it."

"Right," Obito says, and he looks at the pressure cooker.

Evening. He opens a pack of meat and dumps it in inside the vessel straight from the package. He breaks a couple carrots in his hand and tosses them in as well (no point in peeling them, right?). He roughly quarters an onion and a few potatoes before unscrewing a jar of pre-peeled garlic he got from the store (Rin made fun of him for that, but it saves time and seems efficient). He dumps in the garlic before tossing in a curry block and a few glugs of water.

He presses the ON button. This should be good.

Rin comes home. "Oh, that smells good! Are you making curry?" she says. Obito beams proudly. The baby claps in the high chair as Obito spoons out rice and curry from the pressure cooker in front of him.

"Oh, this is good!" Rin says. She digs around with her chopsticks. Her brow furrows.

Obito frowns. "What is it?" He's about to feed a spoonful of curry to the baby when Rin waves her hands at him.

"Wait don't feed it to him!"

"What?"

Obito stops. Rin holds up her chopsticks, showing Obito the little plastic square of what used to be a silica packet that was in the jar of peeled garlic, DO NOT EAT in bold letters: Obito had shook it into the pot without looking.

"Oh, shit," Obito says.

They throw away the curry.

("I guess it's not that idiot proof," Kakashi says later, frowning at them.)


	83. Training

"Holy shit, it's cold as tits out here," Anko says. It's 4 AM and she's at the training grounds with Rin, going through their katas and sparring. "The fuck are you doing here, anyway?"

"I told you: I'm training to be a jounin." Rin throws a simple punch, which Anko blocks easily. "If I could improve my taijutsu and ninjutsu, I could be promoted."

"Why?" Anko says. She ducks another punch, then counters, spinning into a kick. "We've got a good gig. We're paid the same as normal jounin but we've got substantially easier missions."

"That doesn't bother you?" Rin asks. She blocks Anko's punch, ducks, then strikes again.

"Why should it bother me? Those other guys are fuckin' chumps."

"Huh," Rin says. Anko swings but Rin blocks it again.

Anko is the only other person in their class who became a Tokubetsu Jounin, her ninjutsu almost on par with any of the village eye techniques of the Uchiha and Hyuuga clans. She started sparring with Rin because she was bored and curious. ("Almost got my ass kicked on the last mission," Anko says. "I could stand to benefit from extra training.")

Rin's been training in the early mornings before sunrise. It's the only time she can train: at 4 AM, Obito is asleep and so is the baby, if she gets up early enough, she can get in a solid hour or so of intense training. "You're not tired?" Obito asked, when Rin first started, but Rin just smiled and shook her head.

"I don't mind. The training grounds are quiet and it's nice to have some alone time."

She had tried training with Obito, but that was a lesson in frustration: he never wanted to go too hard on her, always pulling back his punches and moving slower. "I can't get better if you hold back!" Rin had said, but Obito protested that he didn't want to hurt her.

"Hit," Kakashi says, and he hits Rin with an open hand. She punches but he counters, blocks, ducks. "Hit," Kakashi says, and he taps her on the chest. "Hit."

A tap on the shoulder. "Hit."

At her neck. On her bicep. By her hip.

"Hit."

"Hit."

"Hit," Kakashi says again, and Rin groans, frustrated.

"What am I doing wrong?" Rin says. Kakashi spreads his hands.

"You're out of practice," Kakashi says. "We've been fighting for twenty years. Until recently you've just been dead."

Her ninjutsu is even worse: she doesn't have the chakra reserves Kakashi and Obito have. Her talents lie in surgical precision, channeling a thin stream of chakra like a fine mesh net. Brute force and raw power don't matter much when it comes to the delicate task of staunching blood and knitting tissue, so much so that it's an unspoken joke that only weaklings make up the medic corps.

"Eh? Weaklings?" Hashi says. "They think medic nin are weaklings?"

"Well, not everyone, but when we were kids that's what people would say when they were training." And Rin remembers how Kakashi used to tell Obito it'd be a shame if he didn't awaken the Sharingan, he was too stupid to join the medic corps.

She's at the training grounds again, kicking a post and going through her katas. The sky is beginning to lighten into a bluish hue when she sees the shock of wild hair in the distance, a lone figure standing at the edge of the training grounds.

"I understand you are in dire need of tutelage." Madara's voice seems louder in the morning dark, and Rin stops mid-punch, catching her breath. Madara saunters toward her. "Your center of gravity is off," Madara says. "Your stance is unbalanced and your strikes are not aligned."

"O-oh." Rin blinks. "Madara-san, I'm sorry...do you need to speak to Obito?"

"Hmph. I speak to that fool of a pupil often enough. I would like to offer you my services," Madara says. "Currently I am without a mission, and it will help pass the time to help you train."

"Oh, Madara-san, thank you, but I'm already sparring with Kakashi and Anko--"

"You forget that I was the one who trained that hapless idiot you call your husband, and he is the strongest of this generation's nin. Which isn't saying much, mind, but it is only to illustrate the depths of my influence."

"We're not married," Rin says.

"I beg your pardon."

"Obito and I. He's not my husband, we're not married because he's still legally dead."

"Then why has he not genjutsu'd them?" Madara says. Rin spreads her hands.

"He tried, but, ah. They shut the blinds on him."

Madara blinks. Then blinks again, then sighs irritated and rubs his forehead. "A true Uchiha can cast a genjutsu regardless of where they look, and yet you tell me my idiot apprentice was thwarted by a paper shade wielded by a civilian?"

Rin opens her mouth to answer but Madara cuts her off. "No matter," Madara says. "As his mentor I will take responsibility for this, his egregious, embarrassing lack of visual prowess. It seems I owe Obito another nighttime visit."

"Oh no, Madara-san, Obito's been under a lot of stress, and--"

"All the more reason I should see him," Madara says. "That being said, Obito was even less skilled than you when I started training him. I am certain I could better your ninja skills such that your prowess would rival even his."

"Really?" Rin says. Madara sniffs and nods, loftily. "Why would you help me?"

"Because I see actual talent in you, unlike that incompetent fool of a pupil."


	84. Training, part 2

In truth, Madara is simply just curious to see if he could forge another adequate apprentice. "It will be a challenge," Madara says, and his mouth stretches into a slow grin. "Taking that witless girl and forging her into a proper nin."

"You're just doing it to piss off Obito, aren't you?" Hashi says. Madara starts to laugh, psychotic.

"He thinks he is too good to talk to me, the girl will be stronger and surer than he is, and he will rue the day that he ever thought to ignore me!"

"I think you need to get some hobbies," Hashi says, frowning.


	85. Training, part 3

"Will you spar with me?" Rin says. Obito looks up, surprised.

"I thought you didn't like sparring with me?"

"Just humor me," Rin says smiling.

Obito puts the baby in his crib, then slides open the glass door to the backyard, joining her outside. The moon is out, and he can see the bright specks of stars just above the treetops. Rin smiles at him and takes a stance.

She strikes, moving faster than Obito anticipates, surprising him. Her footwork is solid, but she's lighter on her feet and quicker than he is. "Wow," Obito says. He looks up and Rin sees he's activated his Sharingan. "You got better!"

Rin claps, delighted. "You're using your Sharingan!"

"I have to, it's dark and you're too good!"

She's been training with Madara for only a few weeks, but it feels like years since she's started training with him. They meet at the training rounds and he takes her to his genjutsu world of white space, telling her, "Each minute in the real world is the same as an hour here. This is how I trained Obito while he was healing. It cannot help with your physical stamina or strength, but it can greatly increase your reaction time and hone your battle instincts."

A few days with Madara feels like months of grueling training, and pretty soon she's even besting Kakashi.

"You don't mind that Madara is training me?"

"I don't like it, but I can't imagine there's anything nefarious behind it," Obito says.

****

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Obito says.

Madara smirks and crosses his arms, surrounded by a suspicious air of triumph as Obito approaches him. "What is this?" Madara says. "Has my wayward apprentice actually come to see me?"

"What's your angle? Why are you training Rin?"

"You disapprove," Madara says. "Perhaps you are just jealous you have to share me."

"Just because I can't figure out your motivations doesn't mean there's nothing suspicious about it."

"Obito, Obito. Is it so beyond belief that I have nothing to gain by this, that what I am doing is purely altruistic?"

"It is, actually."

"Hmm."

"What are you getting out from this?" Obito says. "You never do anything unless it benefits you directly, so I'm asking you: what do you plan to do with Rin?"

Madara smiles meanly at him. "To get your attention, of course," Madara says, "And now it seems I have it."

Obito blinks. "That's it?" Obito is incredulous. Madara sniffs.

"Every time I see you, you act put out and annoyed with me. Despite my god-like powers and formidable ability, surely you realize I too have feelings."

Obito stares at him. "You're shitting me."

"How astute of you. My apprentice is not as stupid as I expect him to be."

Obito makes a frustrated sound. Madara sniffs loftily.

"To answer your question, your woman is the mother of a young Uchiha and is soon to be married into our clan. Naturally her ninja prowess must reflect ours accordingly," Madara says.

"...is that why you gave us those embroidered onesies?"

Madara crosses his arms. "I am not aware of that."

Obito raises his eyebrows. "You are not aware of the obviously hand-sewn Uchiha onesies and Uchiha blankets you gave me?"

"Did they fit him?"

"...What?"

"Did they fit him?" Madara repeats. Obito blinks.

"Oh, the onesies? Yeah, they fit him."

"And I suppose you don't have any pictures of the child wearing them?"

"Oh. Yeah...." Obito pulls out his phone, then shows him a picture. Madara leans forward, looking at it.

"Excellent," Madara says. He scrolls through a few pictures, nodding approvingly.


	86. Minato

It's interesting for Minato to see his team all grown up. In his opinion, his little genin students haven't really changed. Sure, on the outside, Kakashi has become a laid-back, type B personality, taken to reading ero novels and showing up late to mission briefings, while Obito has become a hypercompetent and ruthless adversary, who in turn is now a hypercompetent and ruthless Hokage (inspiring terror in the hearts of lesser nin, who could make his subordinates shit themselves with one one well-placed glare), Minato can peel back their outward personas and see their little genin selves. Beneath the cool and easygoing exterior, Kakashi is just as anal-retentive and analytical as ever, and buried beneath his ostensible badassery, Obito is still a spastic trainwreck (and Minato uses "trainwreck" lovingly, as he has lots of fond memories of said trainwreck.)

Minato has a memory: there was a mission to secure an enemy outpost. Kakashi was positioned to become a jounin, and so Minato allowed him to lead the mission. Kakashi knelt down with the map spread out in front of him, jabbing his finger at certain positions to emphasize a point.

Rin nodded. Obito looked irritated.

"There's more enemy nin than we had expected," Kakashi said. He lowered his binoculars, frowning. "They've given us a lot of trouble in the past. Sensei. Is there anything we can do to bypass them?"

"Hmm. I could use my flying raijin technique to infiltrate the base, but then you three would be without back-up."

"Rin. How are your chakra reserves if we get injured?" Kakashi asked. Rin nodded at him.

"They're fine. I have enough chakra to heal all of you."

"Good. What we need to do is a distraction. Once Sensei teleports in, it's imperative we keep the enemy from noticing him. I suggest we use a shadow clone to draw the enemy away from the base. I'll use my earth technique to erect a wall and Obito will use his katon to harden it. Once I summon my dogs to herd them over, Sensei will have a clear path toward them."

"That's a better plan than we normally have," Rin said. Minato nodded.

"I agree, Kakashi. I wouldn't make any changes to the plan."

Obito fidgeted. He glanced through the bushes, then back at Kakashi and Rin. He bounced around, anxiously.

"Screw the plan, let's do this!" Obito said, and he jumped out from the bushes.

Kakashi jumped up. "Obito, you moron! What the hell are you doing?!"

Minato threw his kunai and used his flying raijin, teleporting in the middle of a throng of enemy nin. 

Obito yelled what was probably supposed to be a battle cry but sounded more panicked than anything else. "For Konoha!" he screeched, and he jumped over the fence waving a kunai.

"Follow him! Follow him! Shit, shit shit!" Kakashi and Rin ran after him.

Later, after Minato managed to kill everyone and Kakashi finished hyperventilating because Obito was too stupid to stick to the plan, Obito dug his toe in the dirt and mumbled, "Sorry."

"Sensei, are you really going to let him get away with this? We nearly all got killed because of him."

Minato waved his hand. "We met the objectives," Minato said. "Let's just keep moving forward."

They set up camp. Once again, Obito was sitting alone from the others, poking the ground with the stick and looking depressed. "I understand, Obito. You jumped in because you were nervous," Minato said, and Obito looked up, surprised.

"Sensei," Obito said, and then he lowered his eyes and nodded. "...Yeah."

"Fight or flight," Minato said. He looked up at the sky. "Throwing yourself head first into danger is common for shinobi who are afraid."

Nothing much has changed. Minato has heard bits and pieces of Obito's time pretending to be Madara: how he committed himself to slowly collecting the bijou, manipulating leaders and stealthily infiltrating his enemies. The path he took was long and circuitous and meticulously crafted and well-planned.

And then everything went to shit, and Obito did what he did as a kid: said screw the plan and jumped in head first, brutally killing his enemies and declaring war against all five shinobi nations. ("Yeah that was pretty stupid," Kakashi said, and Obito hunched over and nodded.)

Rin, however, has blossomed. When they were genin, she was content to stay on the sidelines, supporting Obito and rooting for Kakashi. She was calm and level-headed and had a cheerful disposition, not once complaining when Minato suggested her talents were best suited to her becoming a medic nin. He'd never known Rin to have a goal before, but now she's suddenly hellbent on becoming a jounin. "I'm happy for you," Minato says. "I've never seen you so driven."

"Oh, thank you, Sensei," Rin says. She rubs her neck, smiling shyly. "I've spent all these years following Obito, I guess it's my time to start actually living."


	87. An Accident

"I think I'm pregnant," Rin says. Obito looks up.

"Really?"

"I'm two weeks late," Rin says. "I wasn't worried at first, my period hasn't stabilized and I'm not quite regular, but it's been two weeks. I think I might be pregnant."

"Are you sure?" Obito asks. He stands behind Rin as she pushes up on her tiptoes, reaching for the pregnancy tests stuffed on the topmost shelf in the bathroom closet. Wordlessly he reaches in behind her and grabs them. "You're on the pill though, you're probably just a little late."

"But I missed a few doses when I was in the hospital," Rin says. She glances up at him. "How many days was I unconscious?"

Obito sucks in a breath. The answer is, "A lot," and they both know it. Quietly Rin goes to the bathroom, uncapping the test.

Once again, they stand by the sink, waiting for the wetness to creep upwards. It goes through the test window, then to the results window:

Two blue lines, and there's no mistaking it this time: the pregnancy line is a deep, dark blue.

*****

The baby is playing with blocks. Obito stoops down and picks him up, and the baby squeals, holding a block in one hand and bopping Obito's shoulder with the other. Rin crosses her arms and paces around the kitchen. Neither one of them says anything.

"I suppose we shouldn't get too excited yet, since there's a high probability I'll just miscarry," Rin says. Obito frowns, stepping beside her.

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to have the baby, obviously."

"What about your training?" Obito says. Rin looks up at him, hugging her arms.

"I guess it's just not in the cards," Rin says. "What about you? How do you feel?"

"Me?" Obito hesitates. "I'm happy," Obito says finally, "but I also know how important becoming a jounin is to you."

"You're really happy?" Rin asks. Obito nods.

"Yeah. Two parents and two kids, we'd be like a real family."

"We are a real family," Rin says smiling. Obito smiles but his eyes are sad. Rin sighs and shakes her head.

"Don't look at me like that. You're gonna make me feel guilty." And Rin starts to cry quietly.

"Hey, hey." Obito pulls her close. She presses her forehead against his chest, then sniffs and laughs ruefully as the baby babbles and starts pawing at her head. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"It'll be fine," Obito says. "It's just a hiccup. After you have the baby, you can resume your training."

"Yeah." Rin nods quickly. "Definitely."

She doesn't look fine. Obito looks at her, worried. Rin smiles.

"I'm fine," Rin says. "I'm happy. I'm just a little disappointed, but I'll be glad when we have the baby."

"I know," Obito says, and he presses a kiss to her forehead.

She gets on the shots again; Obito is already an expert at administering them.


	88. Baby Cage

The baby pulls up on everything.

He pulls up on the couch, cruising sideways to where Rin is sitting.

He pulls up on a chair, then pushes it across the floor.

He pulls up on the weapons rack, making Obito lurch forward toward the baby to scoop him up before he tries touching something sharp (and Obito takes to shoving the weapons rack into the closet. The baby still can't open doors).

One night, Rin and Obito are dead asleep, Rin curled on her side with Obito spooning her. She's sleeping deeply when she feels it: a little paw reaching up to pat her face.

"Up! Up!"

Rin exhales through her nose and squeezes her eyes. Automatically she reaches for the baby.

"Mommy! Up!"

She nestles the baby between herself and Obito; the baby crawls on top of both of them before settling between them.

"Why'd you get the baby?" Obito mumbles. His eyes are still closed. The baby pats him on the face. 

"He was asking to come up, why'd you leave him on the floor?"

"Huh?" Obito says, and they both sit up. The baby squeals at them. "You didn't take him out of the crib?"

"No, I thought you did."

The baby chews on a blanket, staring at them.

They stand in the nursery, the lights switched on and Obito carrying the baby. "Okay baby," Rin says, as Obito lowers him. "Show Mommy and Daddy how you got out of the crib."

They watch. There's nothing in the crib except for a crib sheet - even though his SIDS risk is pretty minimal now, Obito is still afraid he'll suffocate on something, he still refuses to put anything else in the crib - and they watch as the baby crawls over to the edge of the crib, then pulls himself to a stand. There, he reaches his little arm through the bars of the dresser and yanks a stuffed animal through the slats; reaching another hand again, he yanks over a blanket, and Rin and Obito watch with increasing horror and fascination as the baby piles everything up and steps on them, using the toys as a stool before he grips the bars and pulls himself upward.

"No no no no--!" they both reach for the baby, but the baby climbs over the top, then drops onto the floor: he lands on a beanbag and a pile of blankets, then crawls over to them.

"Oh shit," Obito and Rin gape at him. "We have a little escape artist."

At the training grounds, Madara starts laughing. "Excellent!" Madara says. It's a few days later; they're at the training ground, and Rin had been telling him why she needs to ease up on her training - the other night's episode naturally followed.

"Now you must reinforce the baby cage!" Madara says. He laughs, delighted and looking slightly unhinged. "If the child can escape he will be a true shinobi!"

"Um, Madara-san, did you just call the crib a baby cage?"

"Well what is it if not a cage for children?"

"Um..."


	89. Baby Cage, part 2

"I think this crib can convert to a toddler bed," Kakashi says.

He and Obito are standing in the middle of the nursery, looking at the crib. Obito frowns. "Are you sure?" 

"Yeah. Look," Kakashi says. He bends down, examining the slats. "There's a lever here that can lower the guard rail, I'm pretty sure there was an extra attachment around here somewhere--"

"Well even if it can convert to a toddler bed, I don't have the box anymore, we don't have the instructions," Obito says. Kakashi rises.

"It's just a crib. Why would we need instructions?"

"No offense, but I don't want my son sleeping on a half-assed bed."

"Gimme a wrench," Kakashi says.

"Eh?"

"A wrench," Kakashi repeats. He looks up at him. "I'm going to unscrew these bolts--"

"We don't even have the proper attachments," Obito says. Kakashi moves his head around the slats.

"You were thinking of buying a toddler bed anyway. If we mess it up, just have him sleep on a futon."

"Futons are too soft," Obito says. He crosses his arms. "There's a risk of SIDS."

"Uh, I'm not a parent, Obito, but I'm fairly sure once the kid can climb, they're not at risk for SIDS."

(At the training grounds, Rin explains to Hashi how the baby climbed out of the crib. "I can always reinforce the top with my mokuton!" Hashi says.

"Ah, Hashi-san, that's not necessary, we're just getting him a toddler bed."

"Toddler bed?" Hashi looks confused. "Modern parenting is so confusing. The cages for the playroom are flimsy and the tops are open, that's why Madara has to confine them with his Susanoo."

"Cages for the playroom? You mean playpens?"

Hashi snaps her fingers and points. "That's the one!"

Rin makes a mental note to tell Obito.)


	90. After the War, part 2 (mature)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-explicit PIV sex, brief description of cunnilingus

It was only a few days after she was resurrected, but Rin went ahead and moved in with Obito anyway, lugging a bag of Hashi's hand-me-downs and taking the extra key to his apartment.

"This isn't moving too fast?" Kakashi said, mildly scandalized that they were moving in together literally only a few hours after seeing each other. Rin just smiled and shrugged.

"I've been following him for twenty years, it's not that different," Rin said.

*****

To Rin's surprise, Obito still seemed too shy to approach her. Unless she was physically manhandling him, hugging him around the waist or plopping down on top of his lap, he didn't seem to know how to talk to her. He would creep timidly into a room where she was sitting and hover awkwardly, blushing hard and not knowing what to say to her. "Why are you standing there?" Rin would say, and Obito would get a hold of himself, shaking his head ruefully.

"Sorry," Obito said. "I'm still not quite used to this. In many ways, I still feel like a kid."

Rin smiled. She reached a hand out toward him, inviting him to step closer. Gripping his fingers, she tugged him close, making him lose his balance slightly until he sat next to her.

The moment her hands rested on his back, she felt him relax. She smiled and brushed back his hair, kissing his forehead. "That's better," she said.

*****

They walked along the banks of the Nakano river, Rin skipping down the boardwalk while Obito followed behind her.

"Obito! Oh my gosh, the sun feels amazing! Did you know you can't feel temperature as a ghost? I can't believe I've forgotten what sunshine feels like!"

She spread her arms, relishing the warmth of sunlight as they walked along the river. It was a bright afternoon, blue skies and sunshine skimming the surface of the water like glittering coins. She was about to go on about how nice it felt, feeling the warm breeze and the sun on her face, when she glanced up and saw Obito looking away from her.

"Uh oh," Rin said, and Obito lifted his eyes. "What's wrong?"

Obito seemed surprised. "What do you mean, what's wrong?"

"You get like that when you're brooding, tell me, what is it?"

Obito hesitated. Rin sighed and shook her head.

"Let me guess," Rin said, and she walked back toward him. "It's just that this is all too good for you and you don't deserve it."

Obito made a helpless little gesture. "I guess you really were following me," he said. Rin frowned at him. Obito shook his head. "This is everything I've ever wanted," Obito said. "You're alive and I'm Hokage. By all rights I should be happy."

"But?"

"But this is torture for me, because I killed my entire clan for this. I slaughtered hundreds of innocent nin." Obito looked away from her, drawing into himself. "I don't deserve this," Obito said again. "You're alive now, Rin, and you can do whatever you want. You shouldn't have to tether yourself to me."

Rin furrowed her brow. "What are you saying?"

Obito didn't look at her. "I suppose I'm saying you shouldn't feel obligated to stay with me."

Behind them, a few children laughed and ran behind them, chasing their friend on a bike. Rin stared at him. "Are you saying you don't want to be with me?" she asked. Obito shook his head.

"No, of course not, but--"

"--but it's all a big mistake, and we shouldn't be together even if you love me?"

Obito nodded, and his eyes were bright and glassy again.

Rin sighed. "You know, you're right," Rin said. "I was killed when I was a teenager. I deserve to be happy."

"You do," Obito said. "That's why--"

"--that's why you should stop making me break up with you and stay with me."

Obito blinked, surprised. Rin crossed her arms.

"That's what you're doing, right? Making me break up with you?"

"I--" Obito blinked, then shook his head. "I don't deserve you--"

"And what do I deserve? Obito I don't have any family. Up until a few weeks ago, I was floating around following you, I was dead. All I want to do is be with you," Rin said. She stepped toward him, taking his hands. "All these years I spent wishing I could touch you or comfort you. And now I can and you're saying I should break up with you? I love you. You make me happy, me being here makes me happy. You wanted to remake the world for me, isn't happiness what I deserve?"

Obito looked away from her. He blinked quickly. "Um--"

"I thought so." Rin circled her arm around his, tugging him close. "If you get sick of me or meet some hotter kunoichi and wanna dump me, that's one thing. But don't put words in my mouth and don't make me torture you the way you torture yourself. Just let me be with you."

He took a shuddery breath. His eyes filled with tears. "It hurts me every minute I spend with you."

"Well, then good," Rin said. She pulled him close. "Maybe that should be your punishment, then."

"Punishment?" he said. Rin nodded.

"Being happy and then feeling guilty," Rin said. She turned toward the river, looking away from him. "I can't make you stop dwelling on your past. But if you really want to make me happy, you'll shut up and just stay with me."

Obito lowered his eyes again, then nodded. "I can do that."

"Good." Rin smiled at him, taking his hands. "Come with me to get ice cream?"

Obito let out a shuddery breath, then laughed softly, shaking his head. "Sure."

*****

"Rin?"

"Yeah?"

She rolled over to face him. In the dark it was hard to make out his face, but he felt warm and solid settled in her arms. "Obito what is it?"

"You're amazing," Obito said. His eyes searched hers, quietly. Rin smiled and kissed him softly.

The sheets rustled. She felt him pull her close before burrowing his head against her neck and shoulder, letting her wrap her arms around his back to hold him. Absently she stroked her fingers through his hair and pulled up the covers, letting her lips brush against the top of his head.

It wasn't like her to be so forward. When Rin was a girl, she would never dream of making demands like this. But Obito's sense of guilt and moral responsibility made it the only way he'd be with her. She sighed as he mouthed the side of her neck, his hardness rubbing against her nub as he began to kiss and grind on top of her, pressing tight against her pelvis and making her strain with pleasure.

 _So this is what it's like to have a body._ Every so often the thought wormed its way into her head. It did so now, as Obito slowly undressed her and pressed his lips against her skin. He slipped between her knees and Rin moaned softly, muscles rippling and tightening as he kissed her clit and laved her slowly. The intensity of the coming orgasm was always surprising to her, sharp slashes of pleasure more intense than anything she imagined with a physical body. He moved up shyly atop her body, and she grinned against his neck when he finally pushed inside her. One smooth stroke, and he filled her completely, pushing back and forth against her swollen walls.

After it was over, after he was lying on top of her, still inside her, exhausted and spent, Rin stroked his hair and brushed her lips against his neck. "I love you," Rin said.

She couldn't see his face because it was still buried into her neck: instead she heard him sniffle, softly.

"Obito?"

"Shit." He pushed himself up and wiped his eyes, angrily.

Rin smiled. She tugged him back down, wrapping her legs around him to keep him from leaving.

"It feels good when you come inside me," Rin said. Obito blushed against her.

"Really?"

"Yeah." She let her fingers absently stroke his hair. "It's like this pulsing. It almost feels like a softer version of when you're fingering me."

"Oh, geez."

"Yeah," Rin said smiling. Obito laughed softly as she grinned and kissed his head.

She relished moments like these, when Obito was tired and happy and not mired by regret and misery. _I like it when you hold my hand,_ she'd say, or _I like it when you hug me that way,_ so he could tell himself he was doing that stuff for her and not feel too terribly guilty.

*****

A month after she was resurrected, Rin remembered some of the drawbacks of having a physical body.

"Um, Obito?"

"Yeah?"

Rin blushed and didn't look at him. "Could I borrow a few ryo? I need to buy some pads."

Obito straightened, "Oh!" and he ran to grab his wallet.

"You're not borrowing," Obito said. He handed her the money. "I'm so sorry, I should have realized - take whatever you need, you don't have to ask."

"But I'm not working," Rin said, but Obito rested his hands on her shoulders, shaking his head.

"I want to take care of you," he said. He searched her eyes. "Everything here is ours."

"I should start taking missions again." Rin sighed heavily. "I feel bad. I shouldn't be mooching off your salary."

"You're not mooching, and I have no shortage of money," he said. She watched as he looked around the room, his eyes landing on her side of the closet. "You don't have that many clothes."

"Oh." Rin blushed. "Hashi-san gave me these. It's alright, I have enough--"

"We should take you shopping," Obito said.

"What about you?" Rin said. Obito tilted his head.

"What about me?"

"You should go shopping too," Rin said. "Isn't that your old Tobi outfit?"

They both looked at his black turtleneck and saw the old bloodstains he had scrubbed off the fabric.

"I could change," Obito said. "I think I have a clean shirt somewhere-- wait a second, you started your period, what are you using right now?"

Rin grimaced. "Wadded up toilet paper?"

He strode with purpose. "Wait right there, I'll kamui over there--" and he swirled out; a few moments passed until he swirled back carrying different boxes of tampons and pads. "Um. I wasn't sure what to get," he said, and Rin laughed and shook her head.

*****

The marriage application was practically unsalvageable.

Rin sat next to Obito and sifted through the crumpled pages, which Obito had crushed in his hands in a fit of despair and self-loathing. He had gotten happier recently before his sudden run-in with Itachi, and Rin was left propping up what was left of him. "This was twenty pages," Rin said.

Obito hung his head. "Sorry." She rubbed his back and smiled at him.

He sat with his head bowed, clasping his hands and looking at the floor while Rin rubbed his back and leaned next to him. She did this so often as a ghost she sometimes took it for granted that she could actually feel him.

*****

The day after Itachi apologized, everything was different.

"What's this?" Rin laughed, when Obito suddenly stepped behind her and hugged her, squeezing his arms and letting his palm rest on her belly.

"Nothing. You make me happy."

"Mm. Itachi and Kushina-san make you happy, not me."

Obito laughed, and even that sounded somehow brighter.

*****

The sex, when they were finally able to have it again, was amazing.

"Oh, wow," Rin said, looking up at the ceiling. She was feeling slightly giddy, grinning stupidly. On top of her, Obito was beaming against her neck. She had never seen him so happy.

"You look love drunk," he said, and Rin laughed.

"I do?"

"Yeah." He grinned and kissed the side of her neck.

"I guess pelvic rest'll do that to you."

"I guess."

"But you know, it's different too," Rin said. Obito shifted, looking at her.

"Did I hurt you?" Obito said. Worry edged the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry, I forget you're still healing, I should have been more careful with you--"

"No, not that," Rin said. She smiled at him. "It's like, you were really enjoying being with me."

Obito smiled. "I always enjoy being with you."

"No, I mean--" Rin gestured. "Usually you wouldn't look at me. You'd hide your face against my shoulder or something whenever you were inside me." She couldn't quite put into words just how different it had been, how joyful and free and happy it felt, a lightness to their lovemaking for the first time in their entire relationship. It was probably because he no longer felt so guilty.

He smiled against her neck. "It's probably the pelvic rest thing."

Rin laughed and kissed his head. "Yeah. Probably."

They kissed. She nuzzled his face and felt him smile against her lips.

"Mm. We better clean up before the baby starts crying," Rin said, and she felt Obito reluctantly pull out from inside her. She caught his hand and pulled him back down for a quick kiss, before getting up to use the bathroom.


	91. Gratitude (mature)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Discussions about sex and pelvic rest

She's bent over the bed, elbows on the mattress with her pants pulled down, while Obito meticulously wipes her skin with alcohol and aims the needle to the spot. Rin hisses; a small bead of blood wells up at the puncture site, which Obito smooths out with a little pressure from a cotton ball, before putting on a bandaid.

"Thanks," Rin says. Obito is busy putting away the vials of medication, locking the needle with the autolock and picking up the used syringe. It's not until he looks up that he sees Rin standing in front of him, naked from the waist down, stepping out of her pants.

"Rin?"

She pulls off her shirt, her breasts swinging freely as she moves. "Let's have sex."

"....Really?"

"Yes." Rin tosses her shirt onto the floor and puts her hands on her hips, looking at him pointedly. "If I start having complications, they'll put me on pelvic rest again. So until then, I want to have as much sex and orgasms as I can in case that ever happens again."

Obito frowns at her. "Isn't that a bit like putting the cart before the horse?"

"So you don't want to have sex?"

"Um." He gestures helplessly. "Okay."

"Great!" Rin hops onto the bed.

****

"Obito?"

"Hm?"

"How many times do you think we've had sex?" Rin is settled on his chest; she moves to look up at him.

Obito considers. "I don't know," he says, honestly. "A lot?"

"Heh. That's not a number."

"Do you know the number?" Somehow the thought of Rin secretly tallying their lovemaking wouldn't be all that surprising to him.

"How long have we been together now? Three years?"

"Almost four," Obito says. Rin considers.

"Well. There's 52 weeks in a year, and we do it two or three times a week--"

"We were doing more in the beginning," Obito says. Rin laughs.

"Well yeah, we were doing it pretty much daily. But then we had that dry spell."

"Dry spell?"

"The stupid pelvic rest thing. And then that whole time you were working nights at the compound."

"Okay, so average. Twice a week."

"Twice a week for four years, 52 weeks a year....a little over 400?"

Obito laughs quietly. "That's a lot."

Rin grins. "It is." He kisses her forehead and they snuggle closer.

They fall quiet. Obito absently strokes her hair, looking up at the ceiling. She's a comfortable weight against his chest; he feels her hand tracing lazy circles across his sternum.

"Did you ever think we'd do this, when we were kids?" Rin asks.

"No," Obito says. He shifts to look at her. "Never."

"You know, it occurred to me, if the Moon's Eye Plan succeeded, and it was everything you intended..." she bites her lip, grinning at him, "...it just occurred to me that you'd die a virgin."

"I suppose I never really thought about it." Obito's fingers thread through her hair. "To be honest, I'm still pretty pissed about it. We both thought it would be like casting Izanagi on a wider scale. That Kaguya chakra tree thing was total bullshit."

"I guess that's what happens when you're tricked." Rin settles against him. "Obito?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad it didn't happen."

His lips brush against her forehead. "Me too."


	92. I'm Going into Labor, Dattebane!

"Minato! I think my water's broken, dattebane!"

Minato turns. Kushina is hunched by the counter, clutching her belly. "Minato!" she screeches, and water puddles on the floor beneath her, "My water is totally breaking, dattebane!"

"Oh crap! Naruto!" Minato runs.

"Dad! What's going on? Is Ma--"

"Your mom's in labor, we need to hurry--"

"The baby's coming, dattebane!"

He uses his flying raijin to teleport toward Obito, who's sitting in his office. "Obito, Kushina's in labor, I need you to teleport us to the hospital!" Minato says. Obito stands, but Minato yanks him by the collar and uses his flying raijin to fling themselves back to the house.

"Everybody hold on," Obito says, and Minato and Naruto and Kushina grab onto Obito's arms, and they all swirl toward the hospital.

They land in the middle of the ER, where all the civilians stop and gape at them.

"Oh shit," one of the nurses says. "More ninjas."

"Obito where are we?" Minato says. Obito blinks.

"Oh, sorry, this is where I always take Rin, I'll take us to the shinobi hospital--"

"THE BABY IS COMING, DATTEBANE!"

"Someone get this woman a wheelchair," a nurse says, and they wheel her out of the waiting room.


	93. More Meta Humans

"Wow! What do they call this? An epidural? Civilian medicine is really great, dattebane!"

"Ma'am, we need you to push," the doctor says.

"So that man who swirled you in here....he's the only meta human who can teleport?" one of the staff asks Minato. Minato nods.

"He has a jutsu he can use with his eyes. I can teleport too, but it's based on chakra manipulation and seals, I'd have to place a sealed tag in the hospital to come here."

"...Oh."

("Hey, does that kid have whiskers?" another staff member whispers. Naruto trots over.

"Oh! That's just 'cuz of Kurama, he's a fox spirit in my stomach, dattebayo!")


	94. Wall

"What is the meaning of this?" Obito asks. He had just finished dropping off Minato and Kushina at the hospital when he sees the village council convening without him.

"Ah, Hokage-sama," the elder says, and as they swivel in their chairs to look at him, Obito sees the civilian leader sitting at the table, smiling meanly and his hands steepled in front of him.

"Our guest has arrived requesting our services," another elder says. He hands Obito the folder of papers. "His group has used us before and they have another sensitive matter they need our help dealing with."

Obito flips through the pages, sees the grainy black and white photo of a newly elected civilian leader. "This is the leader of your village?"

"A demagogue and a tyrant," the man says. "He has risen to power and is threatening the other countries in that region."

Obito tosses the folders on the desk. "And?"

"And we look to you, Hokage-sama, and your forces to stop it."

Obito's eyes narrow. "I'm familiar with him," Obito says. "You weave a compelling narrative. A demagogue who threatens the peace of surrounding nations. Except my intelligence says he is a pro-democracy leader who enjoys a wide swath of popular support, but one whose policies are in direct opposition to yours. If he were to die, you would be the one to assume leadership. But that is besides the point - we do not involve ourselves in civilian politics."

The elders gape at him. The civilian sits back, amused.

"We come to Konoha because your fighting forces are the strongest among the five shinobi nations," the civilian says. "We have used your services before. If you take care of our problem, we will triple your rates. Your village will be rewarded quite nicely."

"I'm sorry, minister, but we're not a group of mercenaries, and we don't meddle in non-shinobi affairs. I'm afraid the answer is no."

The elders snap at him. "Hokage-sama, this is outrageous! Konoha has long enjoyed a fruitful relationship with them."

"And we will continue to enjoy such a relationship, so long as the mission involves protection and not political assassination."

The elders whisper amongst each other. The civilian frowns at him.

"A pity," the civilian says. "I should hate to take my business elsewhere, but I hear the nin of the Mist are quite efficient."

"You have my regrets, but I've already made my decision."

The civilian leaves. The elders turn sharply toward him.

"Hokage-sama! This is outrageous! Your refusal will only help line the pockets of the other villages!"

"Then so be it," Obito says. "Konoha lead by example once. I see no problem leading again."

"You acted alone without the input of this council," the elder says.

"As is my right, as Hokage these missions fall within my purview."

The elders whisper angrily at each other.

*****

"They're crafting a motion to limit your power," Kakashi says. He sets a stack of papers down at Obito's desk. "It sounds like you really pissed them off. What happened?"

"They wanted to hire us as a group of assassins."

"And?" Kakashi says. Obito frowns at him.

"And, this is the sort of thing I was talking about when I said I wanted to reform the system."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Obito, but you need to be less rigid," Kakashi says. "I suppose it makes sense - you adhered to that ridiculous Moon's Eye Plan for years, acting like a religious zealot. But if you don't work with the council you'll just be banging your head against a brick wall, you need to compromise, or else you won't get anywhere."

"And so if we're offered a job to murder an innocent civilian, we should take it because it pays well?"

"Of course not," Kakashi says. "But that civilian was an important client. Half our revenue came from him and his village."

"Maybe that should change then." Obito sighs and tosses the papers on the desk.

"Am I being too rigid?" he asks Rin later. He's giving Rin her shot. He pulls out the needle and engages the safety lock. Rin straightens, wincing a little and rubbing the spot.

"I don't think so," Rin says. "It sounds like you made the right decision."

"I don't know," Obito says. "It's so much harder to do the right thing, now."

"You mean compared to before?" Rin asks. Obito nods, sitting on the bed.

"I could kill whoever I needed to before, I thought I could just erase it." He lays back on the mattress. "I should just genjutsu the whole fucking council and just be done with it."

Rin bites back a laugh and lies next to him.

"Hey," Rin says, and she takes his hand and places it on her belly. "Can you feel this?"

"I don't feel anything," Obito says, and Rin props herself up on her elbow, smiling at him.

"I feel flutters," Rin says. "Now that I know what kicking feels like, I can feel him moving. I thought these were gas bubbles before."

Obito strokes the skin of her belly with his thumb, thoughtfully. "I want our children to grow up in a village whose economy doesn't depend on us acting as hitmen," Obito says. "I don't think that's asking too much."

"Is our revenue stream taking a hit?"

"A bit," Obito confesses. Rin nestles into the pillow watching him. "From what Kakashi tells me, the elders are about to riot."

"Heh. I can imagine."

He reaches over her body to switch off the light, then lies back next to her, pulling up the covers. "To be honest, Rin, I'm pretty sure I'm the worst Hokage we've ever had."

"That's not true," Rin says. She smiles at him. "You're trying to change the system."

"Why do you do that?" Obito asks. Rin's brow furrows.

"Do what?" Rin asks. Obito gestures.

"Support me. You've always been there for me. I wish I could do the same for you."

Rin nestles against him. "If it's about the baby and my training, Madara lets me train in the genjutsu world, nothing's changed."

"Except once it breaks, you'll be exhausted. Your chakra will be depleted, I know from experience."

"It's fine," Rin says. She takes Obito's hand and laces her fingers in his. "I don't mind supporting you. If our positions were reversed, I know you'd do the same for me."

His eyes are soft. He smiles at her. "Thank you," he says softly.

Rin smiles back at him. "I love you, too."


	95. Full Circle

The first time Kushina gave birth, Obito had swirled out from nowhere, grabbing the baby by force and threatening to kill him. Minato remembers it clearly: the panic and the sharp, cold fear that knifed through him, watching in horror as the man with the hooded cloak and mask held a kunai against the baby's throat. That night, Obito destroyed an entire young family - ruthlessly tore out the kyuubi from his postpartum wife and stood by watching as the kyuubi's claws violently pierced right through them.

It's a few hours after Obito dropped them off at the hospital, and Minato watches, wiping his eyes as Naruto bends over Kushina and coos at their new baby. "Ma! Can I hold her, Ma?"

"Yeah, you can hold her," Kushina says. She's exhausted but smiling, and Naruto beams at his mother and picks up the baby.

"Whoa!" Naruto says. He juggles the baby against his forearm, and the baby yawns, her little hands poking out from the swaddle. "She's so small, dattebayo!"

There's a shift in the air, and Minato turns to see Obito swirling back to join them. "How is she?" Obito says, and he turns to see Kushina smiling at him from the bed.

"Obito," Kushina says, smiling. "Do you want to hold the baby?"

"May I?" Obito hesitates a moment before Naruto turns and gives her to him.

Minato watches. Instinctively, Obito picks up the baby and rocks her toward his chest, resting his palm behind her head to support her neck. He has more experience at fatherhood than his Sensei does, and the realization is somewhat bittersweet for him.

"Thank you for helping get Kushina to the hospital," Minato says.

"You're welcome," Obito says. He smiles at the baby, cooing and stroking its face.

Midnight. Naruto has gone home, and there's no visitors in the hospital now, just Kushina and Minato. Minato watches as his wife finishes breastfeeding the baby, then carefully swaddles her and places her back into the bassinet. The two look at the baby fondly.

"Minato." Kushina reaches out a hand, then grasps it. "Look at our precious baby." Minato smiles, then strokes Kushina's head.

"I know," Minato says.


	96. Ma and Pa and the new baby, dattebayo!

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing, dattebane!" Kushina wails.

The baby screeches. Naruto runs around the house, ping-ponging between his mother, whose eyes are wide and wild and sunken in dark circles, and his dad, whose hair is disheveled and who just looks increasingly distressed and more and more confused.

"Ah ah ah, Ma! Lemme hold her, Ma!" Naruto tries to take the baby but the baby wails louder.

"Why is she crying?!" Kushina says. "She won't stop crying!"

"What do you think, Naruto?" Minato says, delirious from a week of not sleeping. Naruto's eyes widen.

"How the hell should I know?! You're my parents, dattebayo!"

Nighttime. Obito is working in his office when the air shifts, and Minato appears out from nowhere with his flying raijin. "She won't stop crying," Minato says, and Obito stands up, surprised.

"Sensei?"

Kushina shouts from behind him, "It's your fault we don't know what we're doing! You owe us, dattebane!" Obito blinks.

"Y-yeah. Okay...." He gingerly holds his arms out. "Let me see her."

Minato hands Obito the baby, who starts bouncing her on his shoulder.

The baby stops crying. Minato and Kushina peer over her as if Obito did some sort of magic trick. "When they're young they like being bounced like this," Obito says. "The doctors say it's like they miss being in the womb."

He shows Minato and Kushina how to swaddle the baby, folding the blanket so she looks like a little burrito, then hands the baby back to them.

"You know, if you guys ever need a break, Rin and I can watch her," Obito says. Kushina and Minato look up at him, their hair sticking up and their eyes bloodshot and wide.

"Really?" Minato says, and the relief is visible on both their faces. Kushina pushes forward.

"Can you watch her now, dattebane?!"

Obito blinks. "Yeah, sure, let me call Rin--"

"Ah! We can get some sleep!" Kushina starts laughing, then starts crying. "We haven't slept in over a week!"

"Thank you!" Minato says, and he hands Obito a bag of baby supplies; Obito realizes he used the flying raijin to gather some things while Kushina was talking.

"Thank you, Sensei," Obito says, and his eyes tear up at the significance of it. "You don't know how much this means to me, even after everything that happened, you still trust me....

"Sensei?" Obito looks around and realizes he's standing alone with the baby.

"Uh..." Naruto looks around, confused. "I think Ma and Dad forgot me, dattebayo."


	97. Doubts

"I don't know what I'm doing, Rin. Sometimes I feel like everything I'm doing is wrong."

He stood in the shadows of another room in some nondescript inn, watching as the nin of all five nations gathered. He had already made up his mind to declare war, a last ditch effort to finish what he'd started even though everything had gone off the rails. Konan was dead. Nagato was dead. Everything had gone sideways and for once he didn't have a clear-cut plan.  
  
Rin watched. He couldn't see her, of course, but he spoke to her anyway, bowing his head and speaking to her as if in prayer. "Give me a sign," he said. His eyes slid upwards, and Rin could see they were wet and swollen. "Tell me what I'm doing is right."  
  
Rin stepped forward, letting her hand rest against the small of his back. She rested her lips against his shoulder and tried her best to comfort him.  
  
He sighed, despondent and unable to feel her.  
  
"I will use these eyes to bring you back," he said again, more to himself than to her. "And you'll live a happy life under the Moon's Eye. Declaring war is the quickest way. There's no other way to bring you back."  
  
She wasn't sure if he was trying to convince himself or her.  
  
He rested his head against the wall near the window, tired but too worried to sleep. Rin sat beside him and rested her cheek against the curve of his back, waiting for that moment where he would begin to drift, the moment of half-sleep where he could almost feel her body curling around him.   
  
She knew these nights were the worst for him. Most nights, he could overcome the vague feeling of loneliness, convince himself that he was acting as Madara and renew his convictions. But on the nights he was worried, the persona slipped, and he'd remember that he was utterly alone.

*****

It's the night before the referendum, and she finds him standing in the darkness by the baby's crib, unable to sleep and worrying. The baby is asleep, and Rin watches as Obito lightly strokes the baby's cheek with his fingertips. "Am I doing the right thing, Rin?" Obito asks. He lifts his eyes and turns to look at her standing in the doorway. "Everyone is against it. Even Kakashi says we shouldn't do this."

Rin gives him a worried look. She crosses the room to stand beside him, touching his arm.

"It was easier when I was pretending to be Madara," Obito says. He looks at the baby, speaking quietly. "I'd just do what I'd think he'd do, and whatever horrific thing I had to accomplish, I told myself that would all be mitigated. Once the Moon's Eye was cast, everything would be perfect. There'd be no pain. No death. Just the smiling faces of those who were resurrected." His thumb gently fans across the baby's skin, and the rims of Obito's eyes darken. "I don't know what I'm doing, Rin. I'm the leader of the fucking shitty system I wanted to dismantle, and I don't even know how to go about doing it."

Rin wraps her arm around his waist, tugging him close. Obito bows his head.

"I don't want our baby to go through what we did."

"I know," Rin says. She drops a light kiss against his shoulder, her fingertips drifting up and down his arm. "You always try so hard, no matter what you do. I've always loved that about you."

He smiles sadly. She strokes his arm with her thumb, then presses another soft kiss against his shoulder.

"C'mon," Rin says. She rests her palm against the small of his back. "Let's go to bed."

Obito's eyes are wet. He sniffs and nods, leaning against her.

They go to bed. In the dark, he feels her curl against him, her lips finding the tender spot on his neck, where she presses soft kisses while her arms tighten around him. Her fingers lightly stroke his hair as she nuzzles and settles against him, and it's only after this that he finally falls asleep.


	98. Fail (end)

It is the first time in a long time that Tobirama has set foot in the heart of the village, but today is the day the village clans will be casting their votes for Obito's proposed educational changes. "Preposterous," one of the villagers says, looking at the pamphlets. "He's hollowed out the entire curriculum."

"Japanese? Biology? Mathematics? What on earth can a shinobi do with this?"

"Tobirama-sama," another villager says. "What do you think about it?"

Tobirama crosses his arms. "I heard that Uchiha Madara is opposed to it..."

The villagers murmur their assent, agreeing with him.

"....which is more than enough reason to support it."

The villagers blink. "Huh?"

*****

Obito is nervous. He walks into the war room, tense and battle-ready. It reminds him of the time when he stood atop the Juubi, how he looked down upon the entire allied shinobi army, balancing precariously on the rounded head of the Ten-Tails' body with only the thin anchor of Hashirama's cells attaching him. He walks through the door and all the clan leaders' eyes turn toward him, and he has that same unmistakable itch he felt when the shinobi alliance stared up at him, aghast and determined and horrified by what he was about to do to them.

"Thank you for coming," Obito says. "We're convening now to talk about proposed changes to the education system. Be advised, if this passes, these will be implemented on a trial basis only. I look forward to hearing the rest of your input."

He sits. All eyes are on him but Obito is used to this, drawing on all his years working as Madara to keep an air of authority and detached indifference.

The measure fails. The votes come in and the tally is overwhelmingly opposed. Obito sits at his desk as Shizune tonelessly relays the results, his eyes fixed on a dark spot on his desk while she talks. "Thank you," he murmurs. She bows and leaves, leaving Obito alone.

He's too tired to use the Kamui, so he walks back home. It's dark but not that late yet, and as he walks he can see the yellow lamplight leak out into the evening darkness, children and families having dinner or laughing and talking together. When Obito was a child, he had no one to go home to, so he would sit alone in his room and eat cup ramen, usually stewing over Kakashi and feeling stupid and lonely. Sometimes, though, there would be a knocking at his door, and he'd open it to find Rin standing at his doorstep, holding up a plastic bag of snacks and asking if she could join him.

He comes home now, unlocking the door and blinking a bit at the yellow light. Rin is cooking - he can hear the sound of running water as she washes a pot, a simple stew bubbling on the stove. "Hey," she says. She turns off the water, wiping her hands on a towel to greet him. "How did it go?"

"Terrible," Obito says, and she hugs him.

"Did it not pass?" she asks, rubbing his back. He shakes his head.

"No, but I didn't expect it to." He gives her a little squeeze, then leans over her shoulder. "That smells good, what are you cooking?"

"Tsukiyaki," Rin says. She walks back to the stove. "It's just boiling things in a pot, I figure that should be easy enough for me."

"Where's the baby?"

"I put him to bed already." Rin glances up and smiles at him.

She's starting to show a little bit. There's a slight fullness just below the ridge of her navel, which wouldn't be noticeable unless people knew she was pregnant. He steps behind her and rests his palm over the curve of her belly. Her skin is soft and warm and she smells like strawberry shampoo and clean soap, and Obito smiles a bit, hugging her closer.

It's always been this way. All his life, he's done nothing but fail - fail his exams, fail becoming chuunin. Fail becoming whatever was expected of him as a member of the Uchiha clan, fail awakening his Sharingan. But no matter what happened, Rin was there for him, sitting with him on the bench and wrapping the cuts on his hand. She sits with him now, taking a plate of food to the couch so they can cuddle and eat together. She laughs and holds up a chopstick of food toward him, one hand on his thigh as she leans forward and tries to feed him.

Obito laughs. It feels good to sit next to her, and even though the day sucked and he's pretty sure he's the worst Hokage ever to lead the village, it doesn't really matter because Rin is with him.


End file.
